Galley Gossip: Looking for love on the airplane (or at the airport)

by Heather Poole on

I never realized how much people actually disliked traveling until I started writing for Gadling. Well the next time you have to travel, don’t despair. It’s not all bad. Not if you’re single that is. In fact, if you are single, it can be a lot of fun. Real fun! How do I know? Because recently I read an interesting article about looking for love at the airport, which I think is a fabulous idea. I did it. Why not you? I succeeded. You could too!

So what if I really found the love of my life on the airplane, same thing! I believe so strongly in finding love while traveling, I’ve even instructed quite a few of my single flight attendant and agent friends to look for love at the airport and on the airplane. Forget online dating. That’s old school. The airport is where it’s at. Where else can you find men, all kinds of men, lots and lots of men (and women) just standing around waiting for something good to happen. Think about it, you could be that good thing. I’m talking about an endless supply of diverse and interesting people here with nothing to do but wait – for you! Don’t see what you like, sit tight, a new flight will be boarding or deplaning soon.

Once you’re on the flight, make sure to check out those seated around you. Whatever you do, don’t forget about the ones working behind the drink cart. Hey, flight attendants need a little love, too! Seriously, the flight doesn’t have to be miserable. It’s all up to you. Just say hello. To someone. Anyone. NOW!

In the article I mentioned above, “Sally” suggests grabbing an E seat. Oh I know what you’re thinking, there’s no way, no freakin way you’re going to sit in a middle seat. Hey I don’t blame you, it’s the worst seat on the airplane! But not when you’re sandwiched between two hotties.

Here’s what Sally suggests..

“If you’re single and looking and really in the mood, there’s one great way to meet people on a plane. You fly Southwest. Make sure to board with the last group, which means you’ll probably be stuck in a middle seat. Then you walk down the aisle looking for a middle seat next to a really hot guy. Done.”

Personally I think Sally’s suggestion is brilliant. Don’t you?

Like I mentioned already, I met my hubby on a flight from New York to Los Angeles three days after Christmas. The flight was empty. I think we were somewhere over Illinois when I began to take notice of him. Whenever I tell the story of how we met, people (even flight attendants) always seem a little shocked. Then they’ll look at me funny and ask, “Really?”

Yes, really.

I’ll then look at them funny and ask, “What’s the big deal?” because really, what is the big deal?

Trust me, there’s no better place to find a man (or woman) than on an airplane. When I met my husband I didn’t think he was my type. Not at all. He was short. But what I would soon come to love about him was the fact that he had manners. Whenever I offered him something to eat or drink he always said please and thank you. (Good manners are a must when it comes to meeting a flight attendant.) You know that old saying, you can always tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother. Well the same holds true for the way he treats me. The flight attendant. Or anyone else in the service industry.

My husband, the passenger, he actually made eye contact while saying please and thank you, something that rarely happens on flights these days, and he did it without ogling. He was polite. But not flirty. A gentleman. This I found to be very attractive. You see if they flirt with me they’ll probably flirt with you, too, and that’s not a good thing, not when you’re looking for something serious.

Of course I couldn’t help but notice the computer, Ipod, magazine, and pen and paper inside his carry-on bag. This showed me that he was a man with a plan, which was my kind of man. The thing that got me was the delicious looking sandwich he’d brought onboard with him. It was a sign that he knew how to take care of himself. Hello, he was traveling in business class! We still serve food in business. Of course what sealed the deal was when he offered me a bite. This showed me he was a giver, not a taker. Right then and there I knew he was the one for me. We were engaged eight months later.

The point I’m trying to make here is that love really can happen at the airport or on an airplane, and it can happen to you. You just have to be open to it. And you have to say hello. To someone. Anyone. Now! How else will they know you exist?

What’s that you say? Can’t afford to fly? Well then go to the bar. If you’re in Denver there’s a nightclub called DC10 where the waitresses make the rounds dressed up as “sexy flight attendants.” The club has no VIP room so all the customers can feel as if they’re traveling in first class. Hello!

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Photos courtesy of Heather Poole (Yeah, that’s me!)

Galley Gossip: A question (and a poll) about breastfeeding on the airplane

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Is it okay to breastfeed on the airplane–specifically take-off and landing. Do the flight attendants allow it? Do you need to cover up?

Maggie R.

Dear Maggie,

Of course it’s okay to breastfeed on the airplane! And if you are going to do it, take off and landing is the best time to do it. A constant swallowing motion will help ease those little ears in a pressurized cabin when a pacifier just won’t cut it.

While flight attendants do allow breastfeeding, there are always a few bad apples in the bunch who may throw a hissy fit if you are showing too much skin – or any skin at all. Therefore I suggest you cover up with a blanket you’ve brought from home. Don’t depend on the airline to provide you a blanket, since most airlines do not carry blankets anymore and some even charge for blankets. Not to mention the filth and bacteria that probably live on those synthetic blankets. Or just use whatever you want to keep those prying eyes off your chest. Trust me, you are not imagining those glares, and even worse, those who stare.

“A man can not not look at a breast. If I see a breast I have to look at it. It could be an eighty year-old woman, but if there’s a nipple involved I’m looking. I’m sorry, I can’t help it, a breast is a breast,” said the husband a man who prefers to remain anonymous.

Unfortunately (or would that be fortunately?) not everyone feels the same as the man above, especially when the breast in question belongs to a woman caring for a child. Sure it’s socially acceptable to come onboard scantily dressed (and whine about the airlines not having blankets) and flaunt it down the aisle, but to use that same breast to feed a hungry baby is still a tad bit controversial for some reason. STILL.

Your question, Maggie, reminds me of an incident I experienced aboard a flight from New York to Los Angeles just a few months ago…

I was sitting on the jumpseat chatting with a passenger, when another passenger came to the back of the airplane carrying an infant in her arm and holding hands with a little girl who looked to be about two or three. The young mother stood in front of the lavatory door squinting.

“It’s vacant,” I told her.

She blushed. “I need to breastfeed, so it may take awhile. Just knock if someone needs to use the bathroom and I’ll come out.”

I gave her a look, the are-you-crazy-look, because as a mother of a two year-old I know it’s not easy sharing that tiny space just to change a diaper, let alone sharing it with a toddler and an infant who needs to be fed. Seriously, no one should be stuck in that germ infested port-o-potty for any length of time, particularly a newborn!

“You don’t want to do it at your seat?” I asked the mother of two very quiet children, and when I asked this question I could feel the eyes of the other flight attendants glaring at me. I looked at them, smiled, and then looked back at the passenger. “Because you can do it at your seat. If you want. But if you don’t want to that’s fine also.”

“Well…there’s a little boy sitting beside me and…I don’t know…I’ll just go in here.”

“It’s up to you,” I said, and like that the lavatory door shut and the vacant sign changed to occupied.

I know a lot of people who are uncomfortable with the idea of a breastfeeding mother sitting next to them, or even near them, on the airplane. It’s normal to feel that way. But it’s also normal to breastfeed a baby! Even on the airplane.

“Yeah well I once had this woman on my flight pull down the top of her sundress and breastfeed a child that was big enough to sit in the seat. Right out in the open. She wasn’t hiding a thing. The kid looked to be about five or six years old!” my mother said when I told her about what I was writing.

Thankfully most mothers who breastfeed are usually very good about doing what needs to be done without anyone knowing it’s even happening. Sure there are a few mothers out there who are not discreet, who do not care to be discreet, mothers who make even me uncomfortable, especially when I have to reach over the boob to place a drink on the tray table, but the majority of mothers I come into contact with feel a little weird about breastfeeding on an airplane, just as weird as you do about seeing a baby being breastfed on the airplane. But a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do! Better a breastfed baby than a crying baby I say. So unless the kid is big enough to….well…you know, JUST BIG, as in real big, give the mom a break! It’s not easy traveling with a baby.

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Photo of mother and child courtesy of Bertabetti

GALLEY GOSSIP: 10 ways to be REALLY annoying at the airport

by Heather Poole on

1. BE A PERV – Get frisked. Several times. That’s right, just keep going back and forth through airport security. When TSA looks at you funny during the pat down, grin mischievously and say, “oh yeah, that feels good.” Make sure to mean it when you say it. If you don’t get frisked, just smile and tell them you think they missed a spot. Use your eyes to show them the spot. You know the one. See how many times you can do it and actually get away with it.

2. FLIRT – Walk around, linger at a gate, and when you find that perfect someone stare intensely. Don’t blink. When they finally catch you staring, walk on over and use the flight delay / cancellation / on time boarding as an ice breaker to get to know the one you’ve been scaring. Go for it! Ask that person out on a date. You can go to the food court for coffee. If you still like each other after coffee, grab a bite for dinner. Take it a step further and try speed dating.

3. EAT – Don’t you know that calories don’t count at the airport? So go ahead and enjoy. No place to sit? Have a picnic on the floor. At the gate. Make sure you’re surrounded by passengers before you sit down. Use nearby luggage as a makeshift table. Be romantic by bringing along a date, perhaps the one you picked up at the gate. (Scroll back up to #2)

4. CALL YOUR MOTHER – Or better yet, call another mother, like my mother. Make sure you’re wearing the blue tooth when telling the mother of your choice what you’re doing, and not doing, and make sure to give details, lots and lots of details. Take it up a notch and explain to her, very loudly, exactly what the passenger sitting next to you is doing. Continue the play by play for as long as possible.

5. READ – Out loud. Help others around you catch up on the latest celebrity gossip. Make sure to let everyone know that Jen is pregnant with twins and that John Mayer is the father. Ask those seated nearby what they have to think, and the let me know whether or not they believe Jen is finally over Brad. While discussing these oh so important details, don’t forget to prop those feet up on your suitcase. Better yet, use another passenger’s suitcase. When you’re done, get out a notebook and make a list of things you think Jen should do, as well as the things she shouldn’t do, and share it with those around you. Don’t forget to fill me in.

6. ANSWER A PAGE – When someone is paged over the airport intercom, drop everything you’re doing, your magazine included, put your hands over your ears and cry out, “I’m hearing voices again!” Another option, “Leave me alone!” “It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it this time!” Or how about just pretending you’re the one who was just paged, every single time someone is paged, and take the call. See if anyone notices.

7. BOTHER THE AGENT. Whenever you see the agent about to make a PA, stand up, walk over to the counter and mimic the agent as he/she makes the announcement. When the announcement is over, make sure to ask “When are we going to leave? Can’t we just get a new airplane?” Don’t forget to use the word ridiculous as often as possible whenever addressing someone wearing blue. In fact, just yell it out whenever you see a uniform passing by. Even when you’re not at the airport.

8. PLAY A GAME – How about, What’s in your bag? Guess what other people pack by pointing at a bag and stating the contents inside the bag out loud. When you’re done, open the bag to see if you were right. Not fun enough? Okay, see if you can steal your neighbors food when they’re not looking. (Take it on your picnic and share it with your date) Bonus points if you can snag a drink, too. After that try having a staring contest with your neighbor, but don’t tell the neighbor, only inform them who won. Next you can practice breathing. Swallowing. Sleeping. Disappearing.

9. WORK OUT. Use the moving sidewalk like a treadmill and the escalator as a stair stepper. Make sure to wear athletic shorts and use your tube socks as a sweatband while listening to your Ipod. Run back and forth through the terminal carrying as many bags as possible and scream out, “I’ll be damned if I pay that fee!”

10. TAKE A RIDE – Stand smack dab in the middle of the moving sidewalk and go for a nice long leisurely ride while taking in the scenery. Never mind all those people anxious to get to their gates standing right behind you. When you get to the end, double back and do it again. Or find a wheelchair and get rolling. Wrap a luggage tag around your arm and ride the baggage claim conveyor belt. Have your travel companion arrive with a luggage cart, pick you up, load you on, and roll you away. Don’t come back. Take the bus next time.

10 1/2. HUG A FLIGHT ATTENDANT. Make sure to announce that it’s hug a flight attendant day and that you’ll be giving out hugs throughout the flight. Why? Because you know the crew has been wearing the same polyester uniform for days, because they’re not getting paid for the delay, because you really do know it’s not their fault, and because they’ve already heard that story, the one about your worst flight, which happened to be your last flight, or was it this flight? You can’t remember, so you’ll just tell it again.

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The flight attendant who helped land a plane when co-pilot had an emotional melt down was a hero

by Jamie Rhein on

If you ever saw the movie Airplane, the spoof on airplane disaster movies, you probably still laugh out loud thinking about it. Remember the scene when Julie Hagerty took over for the co-pilot but had to fight off the automatic co-pilot who was a blow-up doll? She was trying to help Striker (Robert Hays) land the plane.

That was a spoof.

In a real life story, a female flight attendant recently came to the assistance of a Boeing 767 commander after the co-pilot had a mental meltdown. On an Air Canada flight from Toronto to London’s Heathrow, the co-pilot, who had shown up for the flight acting slightly flustered and on edge — not his usual outgoing, chipper self — lost most of his marbles over the Atlantic.

After the co-pilot became increasingly belligerent and erratic, and refused to move from his seat, the flight commander asked the crew to help remove the co-pilot from his seat.

Once the co-pilot was removed — into the capable hands of doctors who happened to be on board — the flight attendant took over the co-pilot’s job. She had a commercial pilot’s license, thus was a huge help to the commander. The flight was diverted to Shannon Airport in Ireland where she helped land the plane. Upon arrival, the co-pilot spent 11 days in a mental hospital before being transported back to Canada.

Although this real-life drama happened this past January, the investigation has just been completed. The commander and flight attendant were found to be heroes, although that term wasn’t used in the official report.

The official report is an interesting read about how decisions are made in the air to keep both passengers and crew safe. It’s a PDF file and was sent along by Gadling’s own Kent Wien who has the insider track to about everything.

These girls were not quite as helpful as that flight attendant. Why not? Click the images to find out!

Galley Gossip: A question about moving from coach to first class when there are open seats

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

I love your blog, I always wanted to be a flight attendant but was told by many I’m probably too short so now I’m going for an Air Traffic Controller job. But I do have a question for you. On the past 4 flights I was on I was stuck in the middle seat because no window seats were available and I can’t sit in the aisle. But I was stuck in between to large passengers that had to keep the arm rest up because they were to large to fit in the seat with it down. There were open seats in 1st class and none in coach on all the flights but on all the flights but one the flight attendant said there’s nothing they could do. Was there really nothing they could do or did they just not want to deal with it, and I should add these were not short flights, 2 were Chicago to Phoenix and 1 was Phoenix to Charlotte, and the one the flight attendant did move me to 1st was JFK to Phoenix.

Melissa

Dear Melissa,

I’m so happy to hear you like the blog. Thank you. First I must congratulate you on choosing an amazing career path in the aviation industry. I’ve always been in awe of those who work in air traffic control. As for being too short to become a flight attendant, height requirements may differ between airlines. The airline I work for requires a flight attendant to be tall enough to reach into the overhead bin and grab the emergency equipment located inside.

Your question brought back memories. I had just started my career as a flight attendant when I found myself walking down the aisle on a flight from New York to Los Angeles, after pushing back from the gate, only to find two passengers standing up and fighting over the same seat in coach.

“You need to take your seats!” I’m sure I had said.

“There are no other seats!” one of them probably said, because it was a full flight and what I didn’t know at the time was we were one seat short.

Remember, this happened before we had that computer in the terminal that scans your ticket prior to boarding, which explains why we not only had a seat dupe that day, but why we also had one passenger too many onboard the aircraft. Did I happen to mention we had already left the gate? We were moving on the tarmac! Immediately I called the flight attendant in first class, who spoke to the captain, who told the flight attendant in charge to tell me to move a passenger up to first class and fast! There were open seats available.

“Oh, okay,” I remember saying, as I thought to myself, WOW, I’m about to make someones day!

Quickly I walked up the aisle, looking for someone, anyone, dressed nice enough to sit in first class. Don’t forget, this was thirteen years ago and people dressed a tad bit better, and ticket prices were more than a tad bit expensive, and we were taxiing out on the tarmac, remember! So I was feeling a tad bit panicky. I stopped at the first passenger I found wearing a business suit. What can I say, he looked the part.

As we made our way to first class, I noticed a few flight attendants and passengers looking at us curiously. “Here’s your seat,” I told the nice man, who had become even nicer upon finding out he’d be traveling in first class.

After takeoff the phone rang. It was the Captain. He wanted to speak to me. In person. Oh god, I remember thinking, what now?

Slowly I walked to the cockpit. I knocked on the door. Two seconds later I stood looking at the back of a very full head of wavy blond hair, a head of hair I had seen being combed quite thoroughly minutes before departure. The nicely combed hair turned and a thick mustache looked at me.

“Have a seat,” the captain said, and he said this very seriously.

I gulped. Plopping down in the jumpseat behind the first officer, I remember thinking, this is not going to be good.

It wasn’t.

As the Captain scolded me for moving a coach passenger to first class, instead of moving a business class passenger to first class AND THEN moving a coach passenger to business class, all I could do was stare at the stache as it bounced up and down and spoke to me in a very nasty tone. “You know I should probably report you for this!”

“Really?”

“Really.”

What I wanted to say was, Seriously? Because I mean seriously? It was a mistake. Granted, a very big one. Instead I said something like, “Please don’t! I didn’t know. I’ll never do it again!”

Scared and embarrassed, I walked out of the cockpit, clicking the door shut behind me, not joining the other (more senior) flight attendants in the galley for a chat. About me. And my stupidity. And walked back to my post in coach, head hung low. I just…well…it had never occurred to me to do the whole song and dance while we were moving on the tarmac. Remember, I was new. And stupid.

But I never did do stupid again.

Now that I’ve been flying thirteen years and spend a lot of time working in business class, I know just how precious (and expensive) those first and business class seats are. Our frequent fliers put their names on a standby list days before the flight for those oh so precious (and expensive) seats. That list has a tendency to get very long. Each passengers knows exactly where their name is on that list. Don’t believe me? On your next flight ask a passenger sitting in the exit row what number they are on the list. You’ll see. And trust me when I tell you that no one is going to bump in front of one of those names on that list, no matter how miserable you are in coach.

Recently I worked a flight that was delayed because one of our frequent fliers got bumped from coach to business ahead of another frequent flier, a frequent flier who was not going to let that happen, who did not let that happen, and who found herself and her bright red power suit in the business class seat half an hour later. Good for her. Hey, it was her seat. Needless to say, bumping from one cabin to another isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Even if there are open seats onboard.

From day one it is drilled into the flight attendants head to respect each cabin, as well as the cabin service. That means if a passenger in business class is traveling with someone in coach, we can not allow the business class passenger to take any business class items to coach. Why? Because the companion paid for coach. Not business. It doesn’t matter if the business class passenger is not going to eat the dessert or watch the movie. And yes, it is a big deal to cross cabins. No, I am not being mean. I’m just doing my job. Abusing my power? What power? Okay, please stop arguing with me. And please, whatever you do, do not try to hide it under your shirt and sneak it to the back when I disappear from your sight! Don’t do it because I already know you’re going to do it. I’m watching you. (Even when I’m not watching you.)

Now to answer Melissa’s question (finally!) about getting stuck between two large people in coach. I’m sorry to hear that happened, and not just once, but three times! Unfortunately there really was nothing your flight attendants could do if there were no seats available in coach. Even if there were open seats in first class. They were not being mean. It’s not that they didn’t care. I’m sure they felt terrible for you. But flight attendants can get into a lot of trouble for moving you to a first class seat without doing it in the proper manner. Unfortunately the proper manner requires a credit cart. Who would know? We have “ghost riders” onboard who watch us to make sure this sort of thing does not happen. As for the time you were moved up to first class, I’d chalk it up to good luck and not count on that happening again. I do not know many flight attendants who would have done such a thing.

Of course it’s not fair that you paid for a seat and did not get to sit comfortably in that seat on your flight, so my advice to you would be to write the airline a letter and explain to them what happened. I’m sure they will compensate you somehow, someway. If this happens to you again, make sure to tell the flight attendant while you’re still on the ground. That’s when something can be done – if at all possible. Or take it a step farther and talk to the agent at the gate. The gate agent is the one with the power to move you, not the flight attendant.

I hope your next flight is a better one.

Heather Poole

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF: (business class) Pat+, (first class passenger) Ammar Abd Rabbo, (Crew) Jfithian