Another hilarious airline complaint letter. This time it’s the food

by Jamie Rhein on

Back in June 2007, Justin wrote a post about a hand-written complaint letter to Continental Airlines. The letter included illustrations that were as hilarious as the text. There is a new airline complaint letter that is being touted as the funniest ever. This time the airline is Virgin Atlantic and the complaint is food–or what the airline tried to pass off as food on a flight from Mumbai to Heathrow.

The letter sent to airline owner Sir Richard Branson by a passenger is a tongue- in-cheek response to the passenger’s reactions to each dish on his tray–nothing he recognized. It all started when he couldn’t tell which item was the dessert and which was a main course. Each food complaint is accompanied by a photo.

“Look at this, Richard. Just look at it.” Is the description under the first photo of two custard like dishes. Utterly flummoxed by those two choices that looked like sponge shafts that moved every so often, the letter writer proceeded to the next item–also unrecognizable.

The third item, the one covered in foil that he opened with anticipation, similar to what one might feel opening a Christmas present, was worse. He likened it to finding his “hamster in the box and it’s not breathing.” That gem is what’s in the photo. Turns out the yellow stuff was gobs of mustard.

Attempting to watch the movie was as bad as trying to find something edible on his tray. The screen was grainy which made it difficult to see who was in the movie. The passenger thought, perhaps, Ray Liotta?

If you’ve ever had a flight that has left you exhausted, depressed, feeling like a sailboat that has lost its wind, you’ll certainly recognize the feelings expressed here. Yes, indeed. This is a funny, funny letter. Make sure you click through the photo gallery for the full effect.

As a note, the food, according to Sir Richard Branson who supposedly replied, would have made the Indian passengers happy. [Telegraph.co.uk]

Other funny names of places: How about Intercourse?

by Jamie Rhein on

It’s great to have belly laughs. The article in the New York Times that Jeremy wrote about yesterday had me chortling out loud and reminded me about why Monty Python is so darned funny.

I thought Intercourse, Pennsylvania was bad, but the list of funny names in England was impressive. For some reason, Titty Ho caught me the most.

As I was reading the NY Times article, I kept thinking of Life of Brian and the scenes with Pontius Pilate. It also reminded me of Annie’s post on Big Bone Lick, Kentucky, a place I have actually been to. There’s also Beaver Lick, Kentucky.

Here are a few more funny names for places. Pennsylvania also boasts the town Blue Ball which is not far from the aptly named town Virginville. Then there’s Montana’s — Bald Knob Mountain. What about Bucksnort, Tennessee? Or Bumpass, Virginia?

This one seems apropos, Happy Camp, California. Who couldn’t use a little stay in Happy Camp these days?

For some Saturday entertainment, keep reading for the YouTube Life of Brian scene with Pontius Pilate.

Gadling take FIVE: Week of Dec. 6-12

by Jamie Rhein on

Humor is a great travel tool, particularly if you’ve had a bit of bad luck like I did when I was pickpocketed this week in Copenhagen–or if the tide is high and the streets have flooded, such as what has happened in Venice. In Venice’s situation, as Jeffery points out, there’s hope in boots.

Or, perhaps that travel companion you thought you were in love with has turned out to be a bust. Brenda has a few tips to prevent that from happening. But just in case you are stuck with Ms. or Mr. Dreadful, a laugh can help.

Whether you’ve had some bad luck, or you just want a reason to smile, here are some of the stories this week that have a humorous edge.

  • Scott’s post on learning British accents in 7 minutes may help you speak like a Brit, or not. The guy in the video does present various sayings you may not have considered before.
  • Aaron’s post on Steven Colbert’s chat with TSA critic Jeffrey Goldberg provides a humorous look at how airplane security is currently a waste of time.
  • Although air rage is not a funny matter, particularly when it’s happening to you, the behaviors Abha describes in her post on what happens when people do get surly on board have a certain chuckle factor. Plus, reading about how badly other people have behaved makes me feel better about my own tense moments. At least I’m not that bad.
  • The picture alone in Mike’s post on the Babykeeper Basic made me smile. When I read his description of how the contraption also keeps a child from absconding with belongings while you pee, I laughed.
  • Then there’s Annie’s post with the video of a slowed down version of an in-flight safety video. Smoooooookinggggg is noooooooottt allooooowed. Clever.

Here’s hoping there’s fun in your life this weekend.

Zero Star Hotel opens in Switzerland fallout shelter

by Annie Scott on

Oh, Switzerland.

In a subterranean fallout shelter in Sevelen, Switzerland, the Null Stern Hotel, biliing itself as “The World’s First Zero Star Hotel” is preparing to open its crappy, crappy doors.

“Null stern” actually means “zero star,” which is a little relieving. They’re being clever, not insane. Normally, this is a cultural misunderstanding we have with Norway. Maybe we’ve misjudged Switzerland.

The Null Stern Hotel will cost between 6 and 18 euros per night, and includes former bomb shelter facilities, no daylight, slippers, earplugs, communal bathrooms and showers, and a butler (there was one in the photo shoot, I’m not sure he’ll be there when you show up).

We don’t know why they get earplugs.

The Null Stern hotel will open in early 2009, but recently opened up to volunteers for a test run. See the photos here.

What to do in Sevelen? I don’t know. But at least you know there’s a bomb shelter where you can stay. If you can read German, here you go.

A Few Tips for Speaking Spanish in Mexico

by Kelsey Mulyk on

“I’m done.” I said in Spanish as I smiled and looked at our waitress, “Muchas gracias!”, I continued, beaming at my Spanish prowess. She smiled back — actually she looked like she was struggling to hold in laughter when I realized my error — I had just told her I was done like DEAD. Ack! The embarrassment of the situation got me, I smiled sheepishly and dragged Tom to the exit to make a quick escape.

When traveling in a foreign country it is important (and so much more fun!) to try speaking the language — even just the tiniest effort can make all the difference. So far the Mexicans seem to be pretty encouraging, they happily smile and nod while we stumble through our limited Spanish. They even are nice enough to pretend that we are making sense!

When you are learning a new language you are going to make a lot of mistakes, that it just the way it goes and, of course, the only way to learn is to make a few errors. However, there are some things that would be nice to know before you start chatting away in another language.

Here are a few tips for Mexican Spanish that you might want to keep in mind to prevent awkward speaking situations:


ME ME ME
This first person pronoun ( “Yo” which means “I”) is often over-used by beginners. If you end up “Yo-yo ing” too much it starts to sound very vain and self-centered. “I this and I that…” starts to sound like ” Me, me ME!” to Mexican ears. Since verbs, when conjugated correctly, implicitly hold who is speaking, try to drop pronouns as they are not necessary. Children are taught at a very young age to drop the “Yo” pronoun and travelers should too.

I want….
A verb that is picked up very quickly by travelers is “querer” which means to want. “Yo quiero” (or just “Quiero”) translates to “I want…”, a very useful phrase except for the that fact that when used it actually translates to quite a blunt request. A better and more polite term to use is “Quisiera….” (Kee-See-EH-Rah) which means “I would like…”. This term is extremely useful and is viewed by the Mexicans as a much more polite.

The dangers of asking for dairy products…who knew?
Mexico has a TON of sexual innuendos. A lot of them seem to focus on the male anatomy. “Leche”, milk in Spanish, is a slang term for semen. If you need to purchase milk do NOT say “Tiene leche?” ( Do you have milk?) or you are sure to hear giggles erupt around you. To prevent this type of embarrassment the best way to ask is to say, “Is there milk?” (Hay leche? which is pronounced Ahee Lay-Chay). There is the same type of situation for eggs, known as “huevos”, which can refer to testicles (ah…machismo culture at its finest). You’ll sometimes hear little old ladies ask for “blanquillos” (little white ones) instead of using this offensive term.

But it sounds the same!
Many Spanish words sound very similar to English words which makes it easy to improvise and try out a word that sounds like it should be correct in Spanish. It is great to get in there and try, in fact, that is what you should be doing — but a word of caution. Words that sound similar can have totally different meanings in Spanish than in English. For example in English we say “I’m embarrassed”. “Embarazada” in Spanish means that you are pregnant. A rather large difference there, right?

Fumbling and messing up are all part of the learning process but sometimes it is much nicer to have a heads up before you stick your foot in your mouth!

“No Wrong Turns” chronicles Kelsey and her husband’s road trip — in real time — from Canada to the southern tip of South America in their trusty red VW Golf named Marlin.