Amsterdam airport opens the world’s first hotel – for goldfish…

We’ll file this one under “wacky PR news” – Amsterdam airport just opened the world’s first hotel specifically designed for goldfish.

The hotel is operated by “D-Travel”, a major player in the Dutch travel booking market, and passengers who booked their trip through them can use the facility for free.

Upon arrival at Schiphol airport, passengers can hand over their fish at the goldfish check-in desk (seriously!) and each fish will be placed in its own little fish tank.

Having arrived home after a 2 week vacation to discover that my aquarium had gone through a catastrophic meltdown, I have to say that the idea sounds cool, though I’m not entirely sure I’d feel comfortable loading fish into a bag to transport to the airport.

Imagine arriving at the airport, only to discover that the goldfish hotel is closed, or overbooked! You’d be stuck at the airport with a flight departing in 2 hours and a bag full of fish on your luggage cart. Obviously a bad way to start your vacation.

Click the images below to learn about other weird hotels:

SkyMall Monday: Goldfish in a Bag Soap

SkyMall Monday loves kids. We’ve looked after them when their noses bleed and when they are embarrassed by their baldness. But this week we’re not here to solve their problems or help take any pain away. Today we’re going to discuss something that every kid wants. Something that every kid begs his or her parents for. Something that kids cherish and love more than anything else. That’s right. We’re talkin’ hygiene! We’re talking Goldfish in a Bag Soap!

Oh, did you think I was going to say, “pets?” Yeah, I could see how you might have made that mistake. What, with the picture of the fish and the talk of children cherishing things. But what kids really love is a good glycerin soap. Trust me, I’m a 30-year-old single male with a history of short, self-destructive relationships. I know children.

Kids today have short attention spans. They’ll be bored with regular bar soap. Liquid hand soap? Go back to 1988, grandpa! Is that a loofah? Geez, you might as well just ask the kid to bathe with Brussels sprouts. If you really want to connect with your child, then you need to be on the cutting edge. You need Goldfish in a Bag Soap.

Think I’m crazy? Think soap that looks like a goldfish that you won at a carnival from a rigged game run by a bunch of grifters is bizarre? Then read the product description and begin drafting your apology to me:

This looks just like your little pet-except it’s a bar of soap. The more you shower or bathe, the closer you’ll get to the toy goldfish inside.

You see, people?! It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. With each wash, you’ll inch ever closer to the toy goldfish inside! And what happens when you reach it? What fate does this cleansing gift from SkyMall have in store for us? What did I just tell you about it being about the journey?! Geez, it’s like you don’t even pay attention to me.

So, the next time you come home and your kids come running to ask you if you bought them a gift, tell them to close their eyes, hold out their hands and get ready. Then pour some water on those hands, give them the Goldfish in a Bag Soaps and tell them to scrub hard. Kids are filthy.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.