SkyMall Monday: Head Spa Massager

SkyMall Monday understands that we all have stress. Between our jobs, families and monkey attacks, the world can be an overwhelming place. You need to find ways to relieve the tension that life creates before it puts your health at risk. Sure, you could turn to alcohol or drugs, but that’s expensive. You could call a hooker, but that’s probably expensive, too (and if you keep it cheap, it’s probably going to cause more stress for you later when the itching and burning kick in). So what should you do? Well, that’s simple. You should strap fifty dollars worth of plastic and imported electronics to your head. You should buy the Head Spa Massager.

Now you can continue to go about your business at the office, around the house and at the sci-fi convention with your hands free and your tension alleviated. Are you a person treating his stress, a savvy SkyMall shopper or a galactic warrior from the planet Florgon? If you’re wearing the Head Spa Massager, you’ll look like all three but you won’t care because you’ll feel your tension subsiding with each electronic pulse that courses directly into your skull.

I could praise this outstanding example of design all day but I don’t get paid by the word. So, I’ll let the true poets of our generation, the writers at SkyMall, do it best with their product description:

This patented Italian design incorporates Japanese engineering and utilizes acupressure to relax and soothe your problems away. It’s like thousands of tiny fingers simultaneously massaging your scalp. Simply place our Head Spa Massager on your head and feel the tension miraculously leave your body.

Japanese engineering and Italian design? It’s like the United Nations is massaging your scalp! If a robot was walking the fashion runways of Milan, this is what it would look like! You could be that couture robot! And you’ll be free from all that stress and tension!

So, forget bubble baths, glasses of wine and high-class call girls. Just strap the Head Spa Massager on your dome and let the miracles happen.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.