Galley Gossip: Lindsay Lohan throws a fit when she’s denied a first class seat!

by Heather Poole on

Lindsay Lohan caused “chaos” at the airport in Tampa, Florida on Saturday morning when she was denied a first class seat on an overbooked flight, reports The Huffington Post. Chaos, their word, not mine, is a word that makes me wonder, just what kind of chaos could little old Lindsay create at the airport surrounded by hundreds of passengers?

Do they mean that she stood hovering over the ticket agent until the agent solved her problem, not allowing other passengers to check in? I see passengers do that all the time. Do they mean that she got upset when she didn’t get a seat in the cabin she bought a ticket in? Well she spent a lot of money on that ticket! Wouldn’t you get upset if you purchased something you did not receieve? Why should Lindsay be judged more harshly than we judge each other just because she’s a celebrity?

Trust me when I tell you that quite a few passengers, and I’m talking about the non-celebrity kind, complain about things that are even more ridiculous than not getting the first class seat they bought. A few months ago a passenger threw a fit because he was seated in the last row of coach. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a good seat, but SOMEONE has to sit there, maybe even you. I mean why not you? Am I wrong?

Was Lindsay wrong when she stomped her feet and told a friend traveling with her that they better come back to coach and visit her in case she dies?

You do see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Passengers can be a bit melodramtic, even celebrity passengers, when they walk on board a flight and things don’t go their way. Does that mean we have the right to criticize? I don’t know, you decide.

Maybe Lindsay behaved a little childish. Then again, maybe not. Lindsay is a celebrity and people do hound celebrities. A few years ago I had to practically stand between first class and coach the entire flight to keep passengers from bothering Magic Johnson, who, I must say, was one of the nicest passengers (celebrity or not) I’ve ever met. And last week I saw Toni Collette run through the John F. Kennedy airport holding Sage, her beautiful baby girl. The only reason I recognized her was because of the swarm of paparazzi following fast behind her to the first class check-in counter. Then a few days later I saw Jeff Goldblum placing a backpack on the conveyor belt and walking in striped socks through the security check point at the Los Angeles International Airport. The only reason I noticed him was because of all the flash bulbs going off behind me and passengers pointing their cell phones at him – click click! People have a thing for celebrities. And I’ll admit I’m one of them.

Remember that passenger I mentioned above, the one who didn’t want to sit in the last row, he also stomped his feet and threw a fit, and then he demanded that I find another passenger to sit in his seat, that I move him up to the front of the aircraft, but only an aisle seat would do! No one was swarming him. In fact, just the opposite was happening aboard that flight.

“But Sir,” I said, glancing around the cabin at all the passengers sitting in front of him who were shaking their heads no at me. “The flight is full. I can’t make someone sit in your seat just because you don’t want to sit there.”

“You’re a professional, do your job!” he demanded.

Even though we are professionals, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do on a full flight. If I have time, meaning I am not busy doing my inflight duties that need to be done before the aircraft can back away from the gate, I will ask people if they’re willing to move, but I can not make anyone move. Oh I’ll do my best, especially if children are involved, but you can’t get picky when it comes to the seat.

Now my question to Linds is why didn’t her friend in first class switch seats with her? I bet if she’d arrived to the airport and checked in a little bit earlier, she wouldn’t have had this problem. Then again, I wasn’t there and I do not know all the details. Who knows what really happened that day?

What I do know is eventually Lindsay was moved up to first class. I’m glad that she got her seat. She paid for it. She deserved it. Anyway, It’s not that she doesn’t want to sit in coach, or that coach is beneath her, it’s just who wants to be surrounded by 200 passengers analyzing her every move, like the Huffington Post did? Like we’re doing right now. That’s why I’m siding with Lindsay on this one!

%Poll-25952%

Photo courtesy of (Lindsay Lohan) The Curse of Brian, (Magic Johnson) Malingering – flickr.com

Check out these other “naughty ladies of the sky” —


Galley Gossip: Flight attendant of the month – a retired New York City detective

by Heather Poole on

Name? Kieran

Base? LGA (New York)

What did you do before you became a flight attendant? NYC Detective 23 years, Insurance Fraud Investigator 7 Years

No way! I’m impressed. So what exactly made you want to become a flight attendant? I saw an ad for open house at LGA Marriott.They were looking for flight attendants for New York only. I went with my resume and I figured even if I didn’t get the job, I might get a date. I got the job that day and the date years later.

Not just a date, Kieran, but a fiance! (His fiance is also a flight attendant.) Last flight? Las Vegas

That was the trip we worked together, which was a very nice flight. Hours flown this month? 50 hours this month

Galley or aisle? I like to work first class on the 757, S80, 737, and aisle on 767.

Thank goodness there’s you, because I’m an aisle girl myself. First class, business class, or coach? All classes

On the widebody or narrowbody? I like widebody but if something else with a nice layover shows up, I’ll fly that.

Favorite airplane? 767 and 737

Regular Route? I have been doing Las Vegas the last couple of months but I will probably fly whatever my seniority holds.

Dream Trip? Long San Francisco layover

Nightmare Trip? Seattle

I thought I was the only person who didn’t love the Seattle flight. Craziest thing that ever happened on a trip? It was a 767 San Francisco to New York trip. The plane was taking off and about ten seconds into lift off, this women screams and runs to the back of the plane where I am (simply out of fear of flying). I yelled “sit down you crazy nut” and she sat on the floor next to me until we leveled off. I recommended she take a greyhound bus on her return trip home.

That’s why I always recommend that passengers who are afraid to fly book seats near the front of the aircraft because there’s less turbulence. Tell me, what exactly is in your rollaboard? Shirt, pants, underwear,socks ,jacket and shaving kit.

That’s it? Any packing tips/tricks? I am the worst packer

Me, too. My bag always looks like it’s going to explode. Nicest airport? Las Vegas

Worst airport? Miami and Dallas

I take it you don’t enjoy walking three miles between connecting flights. Favorite airport restaurant? Figs at La Guardia

Any traveling snacks? no

A flight attendant without snacks? I don’t believe it. Hotel away from home? Sherry Frontenac

Favorite in-flight announcement? “Ladies and gentlemen the front door of the aircraft has been closed so if you have a blackberry,blueberry ,cranberry strawberry,banana, cantaloupe and it has an on and off switch or a battery you must turn it off. I will let you know when you may use approved electronics when we are in flight.”

Book / Magazine last read on the jumpseat? Collected poems of Robert Service

So you’re a romantic! I had no idea. Most annoying passenger question? “Where are we?” My answer is usually “In a big airplane high up in the air” Then I ask the captain.

Kieran and his fiance (who is also a flight attendant)

Flight attendants are a part of the history for work equality

by Jamie Rhein on

When the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act passed this week, there were echoes of women in the past who have worked for equitable pay and fair work practices. Flight attendants have a long history of pushing for such fairness.

One of the first flight attendants, one might say, was Katharine Wright a suffragette, and the Wright brother’s sister. She was the second woman to ever fly when she accompanied Wilbur on a flight in Pau, France to show that flying was safe for everyone. If it wasn’t for her, their success may not have been as great as it was. As women cast their eye upwards, they became part of the fabric of social and economic justice.

Here’s a timeline of flight attendants breaking the glass ceiling of the sky:

1945– First labor union of flight attendants in the U.S. was formed. The Air Line Stewardess Association (ALSA) worked for pay raises, duty limits and the right to see personal records among other things.

1957– Mohawk Airlines hired the first African American stewardess. Ruth Carol Taylor was the first African American stewardess, paving the way for others. TWA was the first major airlines to hire a black stewardess after Mohawk Airlines’ action.

1960s– Fought against airlines’ policies that flight attendants retire at age 30 to 35, but without success. Made some headway with the passing of Title VII, The Civil Rights Act. One part of the act forbade discrimination in the work place based n sex. By the late 60s, airlines dropped the age discrimination policy and the policy that said flight attendants couldn’t be married.

1972– A group of flight attendants formed Stewardesses for Women’s Rights and began to protest sexist treatment of stewardesses. Airline campaigns like “Fly Me,” (National’s) were seen as deeming and the sexy images of stewardesses being pushed to sell flying were seen as a way to keep women from being treated as equal to men and affected their ability to do their job effectively. What was their main job? Assure passenger safety.

1974 – Association of Flight Attendants formed in a separate union from Transport Workers Union which was male dominated. Union began to challenge airlines policies on maternity and weight restrictions.

Also in the 1970s, continued their long battle to be seen as recognition as safety professionals. There was a continued push for flight attendants to have some sort of certification program to prove their qualifications as having specialized skills.

2003– After September 11, 2001, proof that flight attendants were indeed safety professionals was evident. Congress mandated a licensing program for flight attendants.

So, now we know why Gadling’s own Heather Poole can save our lives, and have a child, and be married, and not have to worry about losing her job as she gets older–just because she’s getting older or gains a few pounds. Not too shabby.

[Facts found in Femininity in Flight: A History of Flight Attendants, page on “Flight Attendants & Labor History.”]

Galley Gossip: A question about being a flight attendant on reserve

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

I am intrigued by reserve. Must you queue up each day?

Have fun but be safe,

Geno

Dear Geno,

You are correct, we do queue up each day on reserve. Today I’m # 61 on the reserve list. Because there are 34 other flight attendants who are good to work four days in a row, like me, I’ve just made an appointment with Alice – master of hair. But now that the weather channel is reporting ice in Dallas, even though I’m based in New York, I’m getting a little nervous about my appointment with Alice today. When one airport is affected by weather, all the airports will eventually be affected by weather. Trips will cancel and crews will go illegal and that’s when my phone will ring.

RESERVE – Reserve flight attendants do not have a line (schedule of trips). On reserve we bid for days off only. When we don’t have a day off we remain on-call. The company can (and will) assign us a trip at any time of day (or night) with at least two hours time to get to the airport. Reserve duty is much like being an on-call doctor in that we must stay within a manageable radius of our base (mine covers three airports – JFK, LGA and EWR) and there are no late nights out and absolutely no alcohol, since you can (and will) be called out to work any time of day and night. I remember one night having a quiet evening at home with a movie and Chinese take out. The food had not even arrived to my apartment and I was already leaving for a trip to London! There’s no warning, no lead time, and no excuses. You just have to zip up your bag and go!

On the days we are good to work we have a four hour window to call in and retrieve our assignments for the following day. Because there are only so many available trips each day, not every flight attendant on-call will get one. Flight attendants who are not assigned a trip will be awarded a number. This number is based on the hours the flight attendant has flown during the month. The flight attendant with the least amount of hours is assigned the lowest number and will be called out first if a trip comes up.

While a high number on the reserve list is always a relief to a flight attendant who did not get awarded a trip, a flight attendant who is just about to go to bed, that flight attendant may still get a call in the middle of the night from crew schedule to fly. Here’s why…

LEGALITIES – While layovers can be as short as eight hours (no less), a flight attendant is guaranteed 12 hours off between trips. That means some flight attendants will not be legal to fly until a certain time the following day. For instance, # 5 on the reserve list may get called out first to work a trip because # 1- 4 are not legal to work until noon.

NUMBER OF DAYS ON-CALL – A flight attendant will usually be on-call for five to six days in a row, and then the flight attendant will have anywhere from two to five days off, depending on the line the flight attendant was awarded. Because not everyone has days off at the same time, some flight attendants are good to work one day while others are good for four days. That means if # 1 on the reserve list is only good to work one day, but a two-day trip pops up in the computer, the trip will be assigned to the first flight attendant on the list who is legal to work the trip, and that could be #10 on the reserve list.

EQUIPMENT – The airline I work for has several different types of aircraft and each flight attendant is trained to work on the equipment they fly, but not all flight attendants are trained to work on all the equipment. At least that’s how it is at my airline. For instance, the airline I work for has six different types of aircraft. I’m only trained to work on four of those airplanes. If I’m #1 on the reserve list, but a three-day, 737 trip pops up, which is an airplane I’m not trained to work on, I’ll be skipped over and the trip will go to the first 737 qualified flight attendant who is good to work the two-day trip, a flight attendant who is also legal for the departure time.

I know, I know, it’s all very confusing, which is why flight attendants have a tendency to be on edge when they’re on reserve, why they go to sleep with their cell phones right beside the bed, why they have a tendency to jump five feet into the air and curse whenever the phone rings, and why they have no life. This is why reserve sucks. And this is why I commute from Los Angeles (where I live) to New York (where I work), even though I am on reserve this month.

Last week I went to bed # 28 on the reserve list and got called out in the middle of the night to cover an early morning departure to Los Angeles out of Newark. There were a lot of sick calls that night. Three nights ago I was # 2 on the reserve list and couldn’t fall asleep because I spent the entire night tossing and turning, dreading the unavoidable call. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than hearing, “Crew schedule calling for flight attendant Poole,” in the middle of the night. So imagine my surprise when I awoke to the sun shining through my window, not a ringing cell phone. Of course by five o’clock that same day I was on the airplane and headed to Las Vegas.

“You’re not trained on the 737!” my husband just exclaimed when I read him this post over the phone. He’s in Los Angeles and I’m in New York.

“No!” I told him, and then I went on to explain why. Ya see, as long as I’m on reserve I’m not going to get trained on another aircraft. No way. Not unless I’m forced to. I’m going to sit in my crashpad and let someone else work the twenty hour, three-day, 737 trip, while I wait for a cush twelve hour, two-day, 767 trip to Los Angeles. Hey, that’s just me.

Thanks for the question, Geno. If you, or anyone else, have another question email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com

Heather Poole

Photo courtesy of Frak-tal (man sleeping) and volliem (hand holding phone) – from flickr.com


Galley Gossip: Just a few things a flight attendant doesn’t want to hear

by Heather Poole on

1. BRACE! – I’ll bet you there wasn’t a flight attendant in the world who did not open their flight manual and review the ditching procedures right after seeing what an amazing job the US Airways crew did evacuating a flight after landing in the Hudson River. On my last flight from New York to Chicago, out of La Guardia, you better believe I felt for my life vest under my jumpseat and did a quick 30 second review of our emergency evacuation procedures before take-off. While I know what I have to do, do you know you should do when the flight crew yells BRACE!

2. QUICK, I NEED A BARF BAG! – The last time I heard these dreaded words I happened to be standing in the first class galley. A passenger from coach came running all the way up the aisle and proceeded to throw up all over the lead flight attendant who was holding an open plastic bag, two commuting flight attendants sitting on the jumpseat, the cockpit door, the first class galley counter, and all over the linoleum floor. The sick woman pretty much made a semi-circle from the entry door to the coffee pots, hitting everything in sight – except for me, thank God. I felt really bad for her. I felt even worse for the other flight attendants. But it was Chris, a fellow coworker, who got the worst of it. When he bent over to clean up the vomit with a little shovel and crystals that turn barf into a foamy gel, his cell phone fell out of his starched shirt pocket and smack dab into the mess.

3. I PROBABLY FLY MORE THAN YOU DO – That’s the phrase that bothers my friend Anthony, a flight attendant for a foreign carrier, the most. It’s what usually follows next that bothers me – I’M A (insert frequent flier status here)! Even so, that doesn’t give you the right to do whatever it was you were doing that you were asked to stop doing, something you already know you shouldn’t be doing, given the miles you’ve flown. Now turn it off and put it away.

4. CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER – SO I CAN TAKE A PILL Passengers don’t realize how quickly airplanes are turned around. Before I even have a chance to stow my crew bags and check the emergency equipment to make sure that it’s there and working, passengers are already making their way down the aisle to their seats. Boarding is by far the busiest time for a flight attendant. Half the time we haven’t even had a chance to set up the galley when passengers, five seconds after walking aboard the airplane, come running to the back of the aircraft to ask for “pill water.” Which is why we sometimes look a little flustered by the request.

5. SO DOES THAT MEAN THE ALCOHOL IS FREE? Whenever an announcement is made that there’s going to be a delay, nine times out of ten a passenger (or four) will ask if the alcohol is free, and freak out when it’s not free, because when it rains or snows or the airplane has a mechanical, free alcohol is always the solution. I mean who doesn’t want to get trapped in a flying tube for hours on end with a bunch of drunk passengers?

6. YOU’RE HOLDING US HOSTAGE! Luckily the only passenger I’ve ever heard use this phrase was celebrity passenger who is known for her magazine and television show. She made this announcement years ago in the first class galley after sitting on the tarmac in New York for over an hour due to icy weather conditions at the airport. We were flying to Bermuda. After the crew explained that we could not go back to the gate and lose our spot for take-off just for her she eventually sat back down and surprisingly did not say another word. My coworker Florence, who found herself with a three hour air traffic control hold in Chicago on a full Super80 flight with hysterical passengers – two who were claustrophobic and one who kept threatening to sue because the airline was holding him hostage, announced, ‘And how do you think I feel?” My sentiments exactly. No one likes a delay, including flight attendants.

7. ARE THERE ANY FIRST CLASS SEATS AVAILABLE? Recently a woman asked me this question on a flight from New York to San Francisco because her headsets didn’t work at her seat and she refused to move to another aisle seat in coach unless her husband could sit right beside her. The flight was full. Trust me when I tell you that if you feel the need to ask this question, the answer is no. Flight attendants do not upgrade passengers. Gate agents are the only ones with upgrading power, so those are the people you need to schmooze. But keep in mind that not only is there a standby list for those oh-so-precious premium seats, and each and every passenger on that list knows exactly where their name is on the list, there are very strict rules about moving passengers from coach to first class when there are seats available.

8. CAN YOU HELP ME GET MY BAG IN THE OVERHEAD BIN? For those of you who follow my blog, this question was addressed in my post, flight attendant pet peeve #3: you want me to do what? Simply put, unless you are an unaccompanied minor, elderly or handicapped and your bag is not too heavy, I will not put the bag in the bin. What I will do is help you find a place for the bag. I may assist you in getting the bag inside the bin, but the key word here is assist, people, as in team effort, because I will not do it for you.

9. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOOD / WE HAVE TO PAY FOR FOOD / YOU RAN OUT OF MY PREFERRED FOOD CHOICE? Exactly that – there’s no food, you have to pay for food, or we ran out of your preferred food choice – nothing more. It’s not personal. It’s business. So whatever you do, please don’t get mad at me, I’m just the messenger. Trust me when I tell you that flight attendants dread passing this message along to you. We already know how you’re going to respond. So just where did the service go? Unfortunately it disappeared along with those high ticket prices, which is why we’re now all stuck inside the flying metal tube together. Can’t we all just get along, regardless of the food situation?

10. ON MY LAST FLIGHT… These four little words are just the beginning of what I like to call “the bad response,” which is the response I often get whenever I tell someone what I do for a living. Ya see these four oh-so-innocent words will now be followed by a pause, which will then be accompanied by a weird look, which of course leads to a very bad story about their last flight. Needless to say, the conversation usually doesn’t go so well after this. How can it? I’ve now been linked to the worst flight this person has ever had.

11. (From creepy pilot) ANYONE WANT A BACK RUB? Uh – no! I don’t think so. Now here’s your coffee. Get back in the cockpit and stay there! This question came from my favorite pilot, Bob, the singing pilot, who is so not creepy at all, even though he did write a song about me – Lay across your jump seat, Heather.

12. HERE, TAKE THIS DIAPER? I’ll take the diaper, but only if you’ll work the beverage cart. Seriously, the last thing I want to touch is a dirty diaper (or crumpled snot rag) when I serve people food and drinks for a living. It’s just not sanitary to do such a thing. Look, I have a two year-old who travels often, so I know how it is, I know it’s not easy, but you’re going to have to keep the diaper at your seat until the aisle is clear and you can dispose of it properly in the lavatory trash receptacle.

13. WHEN DO WE GET THERE (During boarding) As I stand in the aisle and stare blankly at my watch, I’m trying to remember where we are right now, because I’ve been to several cities already, and where are we going again? Oh yeah, now I’ll just add the flying time, subtract the time change, and while I’m doing this passengers are flagging me down for “pill water” and asking me to help stow their bags. “Don’t they know what time they land when they buy their ticket?” asked Lynne, a fellow coworker. “Honestly, flight attendants only know what time they have to report to the airplane.” Sad, but true.

14. CAN YOU BREAK A $100? Uh-no! Which is exactly why you’re asking. Whenever somebody asks me to break a large bill, I make it a point to find the change, even if I have to go through the cabin begging each and every passenger to help me out. Usually passengers who carry big bills are trying to score a free headset, drink, or snack. Oh I know exactly what they’re doing. And don’t ask me for change every five seconds in flight, either. I don’t have it. I’ll get it to you as soon as possible. I’m not going anywhere. I promise!

15. WHERE ARE WE? On the airplane. Honestly, I don’t know where we are when I’m working a flight. I don’t have a chance to sit and stare out the window. What I do know is that we’re not there yet and the man in 24B would like a diet coke and his wife would like a glass of water – no ice, and that there are at least 50 more passengers behind you left to serve, before we pull the cart back up to the front of the aircraft and throw it all away. Please don’t make me walk all the way to the back of the aircraft, not when I’m in the middle of the service, just to call the cockpit and find out where we are – approximately, because we won’t be there for long and you know you’re going to ask me again, because we’re still not there yet.

Other tales from the skies
Amazing and insane stories from a real-life flight attendant and co-pilot