10 Passengers we love to, umm….not like as much as the others: Day 4 – The passenger who tries to score a free first class seat

by Heather Poole on

In Grant Martin’s post, The top 5 myth’s about getting an upgrade, he wrote…

Flight attendants have no control over who gets upgraded when there always might be one last business class passenger coming down the jet bridge right before departure, so they can’t give away a seat. After the boarding door is closed? Maybe if you’re discreet, but with everyone watching, the flight attendant will most definitely say no.

Now I don’t know if Grant was ever a flight attendant, dated a flight attendant, or spends a lot of time in the galley talking to flight attendants, but he’s absolutely right! Flight attendants do not have upgrading powers. But agents do, so make sure to talk to one before you board. That said, the only passengers I’ve ever seen upgraded for free after the door has been shut were uniformed military personel…and…well…they kind of deserve it, don’t ya think?

Below is a list of 10 types of passengers who don’t deserve an upgrade, but give it a shot anyway….

1. I-think-I’m-a-frequent-flier passenger – “I’m a frequent flier and…” That’s how it starts. First of all, I can spot a frequent flier a mile away, so please don’t tell me how many miles you’ve flown because that’s my first clue you haven’t flown as often as you think, not compared to our frequent fliers today. See those passengers sitting in the exit row, as well as the first three rows of coach? Those passengers are at the top of the upgrade list. The best seats on the airplane are held and/or blocked for passengers who fly tens of thousands of miles each year. Anyway, real frequent fliers know the drill, they know what to expect, and they know where, exactly, their name is on the upgrade list, which means I don’t have to tell them they won’t be getting an upgrade, the way I’m telling you, because they know, that I know, that they know exactly what’s going on.

2. The curious passenger – “Hmm…I was wondering…is first class available?” asks the passenger who has just sauntered very…slowly…down…the aisle, checking out all the empty seats in first and business class on their way to their seat in coach. The answer to this question is no. First class is almost always booked full, so just because you see a few open seats does not mean those seats are available. Many of our frequent fliers spend time relaxing in private airline clubs and often times will be last to board the flight. If for whatever reason Mr. First Class does not make the flight, Mr. Exit Row will be taking the seat before you.

3. The injured passenger – Comes on board limping, moaning and groaning as soon as he/she spots me standing at the aircraft door greeting passengers and immediately begins the old bad back and knee routine. There’s no way they’ll be able to endure an entire flight cramped in a coach seat, I’m told, even though they already knew this when they purchased their tickets in coach online months ago. Hey I feel your pain, I know flying is not easy, but that does not equate to a free upgrade. However, if I can find a few extra pillows and blankets (they’re not always on board), I’ll do whatever I can to make your flight more comfortable. Just keep in mind there’s only so much I can do.

4. The inconvenienced passenger – Either their headsets don’t work, the reading light is out, the seat doesn’t recline, I ran out of the beverage of their choice, or there’s a smelly person sitting beside them, whatever it is, and it’s always something, they believe they’re entitled to a first class seat because of the inconvenience. If there’s another seat available in coach, you’re more than welcome to it, but there’s no way I’m moving you from coach to first class when there are seats available. Click here to find out why.

5. The charming passenger – “Wow, what a great smile,” says the passenger who is now squinting at my gold plated name tag pinned to my blue lapel. “So how are you doing today, Heather?” Although this passenger is always nice and polite, my favorite kind of passenger, whenever someone uses my name the alarm in my brain automatically begins to ring – alert, alert, special request coming! Nine times out of ten this passenger works in sales and while they may be successful on the ground, they’re not so successful at 35,000 feet.

6. The ill passenger – I wrote about this passenger in great detail in the Galley Gossip post, The passenger didn’t ask for much. Oh you remember her, the passenger who asked for a first class seat, a business class mug, help to the bathroom, uncooked veggies and potatoes, and then had the nerve to tell me she would be deplaning first, even though she sat in coach. Look, I’m sorry you’re sick and I’ll bring you all the Ginger ale, hot tea, damp towels, and barf bags you need, but just because you don’t feel well does not give you the right to a first class seat, not when you should really be at home, not barfing all over our premium passengers.

7. The surprised passenger – This passenger seems genuinely shocked to learn you have to actually pay for a first class seat. I’ve seen this passenger wander on board and make themselves comfortable in a plush leather seat located in one of the first rows of the airplane, reclining the seat all the way back, propping their feet on the foot rest, and treating themselves to a glass of champagne. “I just thought you might be nice,” a passenger once said after I told her she and her husband could not stow away in first class, not when they paid for a seat in coach. While I am nice, I’m not that nice.

8. The honeymooning passenger – Whenever someone tells me it’s their honeymoon, I know exactly what they want, big time special treatment. And I give it to them. I ask about their wedding and talk to them about where they’re going and I might even make an announcement to congratulate the happy couple. But I don’t move them up to first class. Even when times were good and airlines weren’t furloughing employees and going into bankruptcy every other week, I didn’t upgrade honeymooners just because they decided to take their relationship to the next level and tie the knot.

9 The celebrity passenger – I’m a celebrity get me out of here! is not just a television show, because I’ve actually seen it happen on the airplane. Now I’m not naming names, but years ago I had a very famous singer known for his long blond locks who purchased a seat in coach and then demanded to be upgraded for free because he said he’d be “mobbed” in coach. All I can say is, my how times have changed. Because today I’m pretty sure that the singer who recently broke up with – I better not say – only wishes he could get mobbed in coach.

10. The combination passenger – This is the worst type of passenger, Pulling every trick in the book, this passenger has no shame and will stop at nothing in their quest for a free upgrade. Trust me when I tell you there’s always a multiple number of issues going on here. Like sometimes they’re honeymooning and inconvenienced, while other times they’re injured and also charming. It doesn’t matter what they are, they just are, and I’m the lucky one who gets to hear all about it until the end of the flight.

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Galley Gossip: Cell phones on the airplane

by Heather Poole on

Recently on Twitter.com Times Travel asked me who I thought the worst type of passenger was. I wrote, “a business class passenger who does not get an upgrade and ends up in coach.”

But not all business class passengers who end up in coach are bad. In fact, business class passengers are actually my favorite passengers. They know the drill. They know exactly what to expect. So there’s no “on my last flight…” or “what do you mean there aren’t any magazines or pillows?”

The truth is the worst type of passenger is the kind of passenger who thinks he/she travels often, but in reality he/she only travels a few times a year, which isn’t really all that often, not compared to frequent fliers today. Yet they have no problem letting me know just how often they fly (which isn’t all that often) when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, something a frequent flier knows not to do, like use a cell phone after the flight attendant has made the announcement that it’s time to turn off and stow all electronic devices.

The following scenario actually took place on board one of my flights…
We’re on the tarmac in Chicago and the flight attendant is walking down the aisle while the safety video is on and she sees a passenger on his cell phone talking and says, “Sir, you need to turn your cell phone off!”

He tells whomever he’s talking to on the phone to hold on a minute, and then he covers the mouthpiece with his hand and asks the flight attendant, “what flight number is this?”

Shaking her head, the flight attendant says, “Sir, you can’t be on your phone right now! The safety video is on. You need to turn it off.” She points to the video monitor and it’s at that part where the guy in the suit reaches up and grabs the oxygen mask and places it over his nose and mouth, looking way too relaxed for a guy who has just placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth because he’s probably going through a decompression or something and should probably be hyperventilating along with the rest of us.

The man on the phone rolls his eyes and tells his friend to hold on again. Then he says to the flight attendant, “I JUST NEED TO KNOW THE FLIGHT NUMBER, MA’AM!”

My colleague tells him she doesn’t know the flight number, which could be true because half the time we really don’t know whether we’re coming or going due to the short layovers mixed with long work days spent hopping from one city to another. Not to mention the safety video is on and this guy should not be on the phone right now. At this point it doesn’t really matter what the flight number is.

“TURN IT OFF!” she demands, squinting her eyes, which makes her look a little crazy and has zero affect because he’s still on the phone and just looking at her as if it’s no big deal there’s a flight attendant screaming at him and looking all crazy-eyed.

Sighing, he tells his friend, “The flight attendant is not being very helpful. She’s putting a lot of stress on me.”

Of course this only makes her put even more stress on him. “TURN THE PHONE OFF NOW! I MEAN NOW! RIGHT NOW!” which not only makes him jump, but also works because he actually turns it off and puts it away.

When I shared the above story with a fellow coworker, he wrote…

This lack of compliance causes me concern for a couple of good reasons. First, it establishes that some passengers see flight attendant instructions as optional–and they’re mandatory. That mandatory aspect is for everyone’s safety in an emergency, and in order to be effective, that authority covers every instruction they give. Second, as a captain, I always weigh whether I want to take Mr. Optional-Instructions-Cell-Phone-Guy into the air and just hope when he’s given an instruction, he’ll comply. Why would I?

Cell phones on the airplane, some people want them, others don’t. Me, I fall into the don’t category. Why? Because it’s a me, me, me world we’re living in and people today don’t always have common courtesy for those seated around them.

Tell me what you think.

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Photo courtesy of Jung Hong (cell phone), Beigeinside (flight attendant)

Galley Gossip: Passenger of the month – Lorna Brett Howard

by Heather Poole on

Name: Lorna Brett Howard

Occupation? Toy maker, Penelope Peapod, feminist political activist

I went to the Penelope Peapod website and couldn’t help but think a doll that size would fit perfectly inside a travel bag! So where do I get one? Penelope Peapod is a take along toy, a doll in a wicker basket handbag that turns into a bassinet. The “handbag” can hold other things so perfect for travel and then Mom does not have to carry their daughter’s toys, as so always happens. You can order a Penelope Peapod at http://www.penelopepeapod.com/Home If someone writes Heather Poole sent me in the “notes/comment” section I will send them a free outfit and blanket set….after all, half the fun is changing her clothes!

That’s so nice of you! Thank you. I’ll be ordering two. You mentioned on the flight that you travel often with your child. How often is often and what’s your secret to making sure everything goes smoothly?I have been in a commuter-marriage for five years and my son is four. We travel every week, Sundays, to and from New York to Chicago. Hauling a baby through security is hard, toddlers worse. At four, it is easier now. The secret is, of course, organization. Having the right snacks (non-sticky, easy to eat) and distractions, books, figures to play with….and I must admit, a portable DVD player. Once an older man lectured me on how bad it was for kids to watch too much TV/movies and asked why I didn’t just read to my son on the plane. I gave him a kind smile and said I did and left it at that. I wanted to ask him if he ever had traveled with his children every week but then I thought, of course not. He had no clue. JUNE CLEAVER IS DEAD I wanted to say. And I am sure June did not have to get on a plane every week.

Yeah, I remember seeing a kid watching a DVD at a nice restaurant years ago and thinking, I’d never do that. I have since learned never say never. Now when I travel with my son we never leave home without the ipod with the screen for watching Handy Manny, Curious George, Caillou…you get the picture. Number one travel tip for parents? Have a bloody mary, just one, when you get on the plane! Ha, just kidding…sort of. I would say to keep calm even when they fuss as it just makes it worse. Check whatever you can and have lots of distractions. Sometimes a brand new book or little toy goes a long way.

When my son was between the age of 3 months and two years, I couldn’t live without my Sit-N-Stroll. What’s your favorite travel item when traveling with your son? I had a Sit-N-Stroll and it was great. It was difficult to get down the aisle sometimes, depending on the type of aircraft we were on and how wide the aisles there were, they have become more narrow as the seats have become wider and more comfortable. Other than that, a good organized bag with everything easy to find – that fits under the seat in front is essential.

The Sit-N-Stroll only fits down the aisle on a widebody aircraft. I hear you on the organized bag. I bought an expensive diaper bag and ended up never using it because the Diaper Dude was much easier to travel with due to all the pockets and the messenger style, allowing hands to be free. How many miles have you flown this year? I don’t know! Every Sunday back and forth, haven’t added up. In addition, we travel a lot for vacations. So my son is a platinum member already and he knows all the clues – buckle up for safety, no portable electronic devices until the captain says so!

Much respect! Last flight? May 10th

Check it or Carry on? I try not to check anything because then you have to wait, and at O’Hare and LaGuardia it can take a while. But sometimes it is better to check when you have too much to haul from Gate One Million, which is always where we seem to land in O’Hare…I don’t think I have ever been at Gate 1!

Window or Aisle? Window for my son for sure.

Something to Drink? He always has a Sprite, a flying treat.

Beef or Chicken? We are both vegetarians so we rarely eat the food offered.

What exactly is in your carry on bag? A “milky”, a juice, cheddar bunnies, raisins, fruit roll ups (a bit sticky), two books, a few airplanes, my son’s “lamby” which he can’t fly without, wipes, DVD player and few DVDs, magazine or book for me

Any packing tips/tricks? Light!

Describe your traveling outfit. Jeans, t-shirt, sweater (gets cold sometimes) or a wrap, for my son, the same!

Best shoes to wear through airport security Boots, and I always wear boots!

Any airport routines?Oh yes, French fries at O’Hare and donuts at LaGuardia…what can I say, we generally eat healthy so it’s no big deal.

Nicest Airport? I love the marine terminal at LaGuardia because it is so small. O’Hare can be nightmare because the gates go on forever and it feels like a million mile walk out of the terminal.

Favorite Airport restaurant? Potbelly’s sandwiches at Midway Airport in Chicago.

I’ve never heard of Potbelly’s. Now I’ll be on the look out. Hotel away from home? The Peninsula, any of them, love the hotels. Or the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood, a dumpy, cool, chic and weird place.

Favorite in-flight announcement? We are getting in early AND there is gate waiting.

Book last read on a flight? War and Peace, Tolstoy. That is when I thought buying Kindle was a good idea. Have you ever seen how big that book is??

Now finish the following sentences…

I can’t fly without my…laptop. I work on the plane, and my Blackberry…And of course my son!

On my last flight…I met Heather Poole! And loved her.

Oh now that is nice. Really nice. Thank you for that. Moving on – this passenger I sat next to…was convinced I was Julia Roberts. We were pregnant at the same time. I kept telling him I wasn’t, he asked for my autograph. I think he thought I was pretending.

I had this one flight…where I was crying about something sad that had happened in my life and the flight attendants were so nice.

If I could be anywhere in the world, I’d …be in Belize, diving the Blue Hole, not wearing shoes for a week and staying in some cool old hut.

When it comes to traveling, I wish…that I didn’t fly into two of busiest airport in the world — I feel I am always delayed due to weather in Chicago. but there is nothing to do about that. So I guess I wish that ALL those rentable luggage carts in the terminals had seats for toddlers. Some do not and I don’t know why, just a place for a purse, not for little legs!

Why are/do flight attendants…I have no complaints. They always seem to be nice and pleasant even in the face of some very crabby passengers.

Next flight? I’ve been happily in one place for three weeks (rare) but will travel on the Monday after Memorial Day….should be fun!

Galley Gossip: A question about packing jewelry

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

I meant to ask you before my vacation — what’s your secret for packing jewelry? In what do you pack it and how? Some outfits I have look better with gold, and some look better with silver. Then there’s a myriad of “fun” jewelry that include bracelets, necklaces with different charms, earrings to match, etc. The thing about the “fun” jewelry is that it causes the security alarms to go off in some places, so I try not to wear it on days of travel, wearing either gold, silver or nothing at all, which means I’m forced to pack it. Just curious as to how you did it so it wouldn’t get broken, tangled or lost.

Angela

Dear Angela,

My secret to packing jewelry is simple. I don’t pack it. Ever. When I’m working a trip I wear my wedding band, a necklace and a nice watch. When I’m traveling for pleasure I might pack a cheap bracelet and a few pairs of earrings that wouldn’t cause me distress if they were to become lost, stolen, or broken. But I always leave the good stuff at home. When it comes to traveling, I firmly believe that less is more and that includes the jewelry. I mean do you really need all that silver and gold to go with all those outfits? And where will you hide it all after you’ve checked into your room? I ask because I’m not so sure I’d trust the hotel safe with something really valuable. I’ve used the safe on several occassions, and while I’ve never had any problems, I can’t help but wonder who many people out there have access to the code.

I decided to contact an expert who deals with security and high net worth. When I told him your question about traveling with jewelry, he had this to say…

I assume this is more than one piece and would be considered valuable. Couriers are told the same as I will tell you. You never pack your jewelry. Hand carry only. If you put it in your suitcase TSA will screen it and G-d knows who else. If its stolen from your suitcase you will get a few hundred dollars based upon their limit of liability which should be on the back of your ticket. No evidence, no suspects, no police investigation, no crime scene, no responsibility and if you by chance ever proved it, you will be in court with the Dept of Homeland Security until you grow old.

I would put the jewelry in a sandwich bag and hand carry it in your carry on. Leave it on top but put a few things over it. Watch the bag go through the x ray before you pass the metal detector. If they want to look at the bag ask for a private screening. Also ask for a supervisor or second screener to be present. You will not be allowed to touch your bag but they will be able to see the jewelry through the sandwich bag without having to touch it either. Do not leave the bag unattended for any reason during the inspection. Maintain hand or sight of the jewelry at all times even if you are asked by an agent to move. You are never to separate yourself from your property until the bag is returned to your custody.

Hope that helps, Angela! If you (or anyone else) have another question feel free to email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com

Happy travels!

Heather Poole

Photos courtesy (Suitcase) Remon Rijper (Woman) Simone Koster

Galley Gossip: Nut allergies on the airplane

by Heather Poole on

Recently Patricia Aspinall, of Travel Savvy Mom, wrote an interesting article about her experience on board a flight to the Caribbean with a passenger who had a nut allergy, while traveling with her husband and daughter, a two and a half year-old. Like my own two year-old, Patricia’s daughter is a picky eater, so Patricia did what any smart mom would do and packed snacks – peanut butter granola bars.

When the flight attendants on Patricia’s flight asked passengers to refrain from eating nuts, Patricia had no idea what to do about her hungry child, so she asked a flight attendant. “The flight attendant didn’t have any solutions,” wrote Patricia. “It seemed this was a first for them as well.”

Solutions? Unfortunately, there’s just one solution – no nuts! Regardless of picky eaters on board. Not to sound harsh, but I’d rather have a hungry child on my plane than a plane that has to divert because someone has a serious allergy attack.

Daniel More, MD, from About.com, wrote…

A recent study showed that nearly one in 10 people with peanut, tree nut or seed allergies experienced an allergic reaction while traveling on an airplane. Surprisingly, most of these reactions occurred as a result on inhaling airborne particles from peanuts. This occurred after multiple bags of peanuts were opened near a person with peanut allergy. Airborne peanut particles seem to be common on airplanes, since peanut proteins have been found in the ventilation filters of commercial airplanes.

Since commercial airlines may not have emergency medical equipment on board, and because there may not be a medical professional traveling as a fellow passenger, people with peanut allergy need to be prepared. Calling various airline companies to see if peanuts are served on the planned flight is a good idea, but never a guarantee that peanuts won’t be present on the airplane. Carrying an Epi-Pen, as well as an antihistamine, is the best way to be prepared for an allergic emergency. For a long flight, a person with food allergies should consider bringing their own food on the airplane, since airplane food could contain hidden ingredients and may not be labeled as containing common food allergens

Because we no longer serve free food on board the airplanes, nuts are always a popular snack with passengers and crew alike. They’re healthy and filling and fit easily inside a tote bag. My favorite, almonds and pistachios. My coworker last week shared a bag of cashews. People bring nuts and products containing nuts on board all the time. So what happened when a child with a nut allergy walked on board my mother’s flight two years ago?

“The child looked to be about eight years old,” my mother said. “He was on his way to seek medical treatment with a specialist. He tried to smile, but he couldn’t because his lips were too swollen. It was the saddest thing I’d ever seen. The skin on his entire body was splotchy, puffy, and swollen. Whenever he’d try to scratch his mother had to force him to stop. I’ve never seen anything like it. Honestly, I had no idea it could be so bad. His eyes were so swollen he could hardly see out of them. Just because of a peanut allergy!”

“As soon as all the passengers were seated on board that flight we made an announcement and told everyone they couldn’t consume nuts because we had a passenger on board with an allergy,” my mother continued. “Everyone was very nice about it. Not one person complained. Then we went through all of our snacks and removed anything with nuts – candy bars and trail mix. We couldn’t even serve the people in first class the warm mixed nuts because his allergy was so severe.”

Not every passenger with a nut allergy experiences the same thing. Recently a passenger came on board and told me she had a nut allergy. I asked if it would be okay if we served snacks containing nuts. She said that was fine, though she, herself, wouldn’t be able to eat them. Every case is different, which is why it’s very important we all work together on this issue. If you’re a passenger with an allergy, please tell the flight attendants just how serious your condition is. If your a flight attendant who finds out there’s a passenger with a nut allergy on board, make you ask how serious the condition may be. While there are no reports of passengers dying from starvation on board a flight, at least none that I know of, I do not believe the same can be said for someone with a serious condition who has accidentally inhaled nuts from passengers sitting nearby.

Don’t forget I’m not just a flight attendant, I’m also the mother of a 2 year-old. I travel with my son often and I always do what Patricia did, I pack snacks – cheese and crackers, raisins, a sliced apple, peanut butter and jelly, cheese nips… Never, ever, do I depend on the airline for my hunger needs, regardless of how much I’ve paid for my ticket. I’ve worked way too many flights where we’ve run out of food (the flights aren’t catered full in coach) or the flight is delayed for hours, or even worse, the flight diverts! Flying can be like a a real life episode of Survivor. You never know what’s going to happen and you’ve got to plan ahead. Especially when you’re traveling with a child. That means you have to pack snacks – maybe even an assortment of snacks if your child is a picky eater.

Patrica went on to write about her experience on board that Caribbean flight…

I was told to go ahead and eat the food I brought. I replied that I wasn’t willing to take the risk. Finally they gave us some free snacks, but asked us please not to tell anyone. They didn’t have enough for everyone. As allergies are becoming a bigger and bigger issue each year, airlines need a definitive policy. As for me, I will definitely rethink what snacks I pack for our next flight

The flight attendants should NOT have told Patricia to go ahead and eat the peanut butter granola bar. However, in defense of those flight attendants, I probably would have done the same thing if I hadn’t heard my mother’s story about the child with the allergy traveling on her flight two years ago. I mean who knew an allergy could be so bad? I mean I have food allergies, but I only get congested when I eat things I shouldn’t eat. Seriously, unless you’ve experienced something first hand, or know someone personally who has a serious allergy problem, you really have no clue how much a person can suffer.

Patricia was smart to have packed granola bars for her child and it was not her fault that she couldn’t give her child the snack she’d packed. Now if I’d been Patricia, I probably would have just purchased another snack from the flight attendant. End of story. Because it’s not the airlines fault that a child with a nut allergy was on board the flight. Nor was it the child’s fault he/she had an allergy causing all items with nuts to remain unopened. There are no easy answers here. Unfortunately these things do happen from time to time. That’s why it’s so important to come prepared. For anything. Thank goodness Patricia new better than to take the risk and open the bar. Thank goodness the flight attendants had a few extra snacks to hand out – free of charge. More importantly, thank goodness the flight landed without further incident.

Got a nut allergy? You might want to read this post about Delta and Northwest. Also, check out these bag tags and nut allergy labels. (featured at the top of this page)

Photo courtesy of (airplane snack) Sean Mun son, (allergic reaction) Nancy