Model’s boyfriend puts the “bang” in Bangalore

by Tom Johansmeyer on

It always starts with a drunken model. Always. Cover girl Sarah Hannon was beyond furious when awaking to find her boyfriend, Daniel Melia, engaged in a “sex act” with the woman next to him. It sounds like he had a middle seat and liked it!

Hannon fell asleep on a nine-hour flight from Bangalore to London, as anyone would hope to do on such a long flight. Oh, and having bent elbows with boyfriend certainly helped. Melia’s libido, however, resisted the powers of both fatigue and alcohol, and next seat neighbor, Clare Irby, was happy to help him out.

The alleged performance occurred under a blanket, and Melia and Irby thought nobody was the wiser … until a flight attendant stopped them, impeding pleasure and likely ending a show for many passengers bored with the in-flight movie. This is when Hannon woke up and Hannon started screaming.

The model was furious and had to be calmed by the flight crew. When Kingfisher Airlines Flight IT001 touched down at Heathrow, police boarded the plane and arrested all three. Melia and Irby were pinched for alleged indecency, while Hannon was nabbed for being drunk on an aircraft. All three made bail.

The local cops had little to say but got it right: “They certainly put the bang into Bangalore.”

[Via news.com.au]

UK Airports to face penalties when they screw up your trip

by Scott Carmichael on

The UK has a bit of a history when it comes to airports getting in the way of your vacation plans.

London Heathrow airport is where I’ve spent many a night waiting for air traffic to get back to normal while they attempt to fix whatever was interfering with my plans.

Last year was undoubtedly the worst period in the history of UK airport screw ups – the opening of Heathrow Terminal 5 was nothing short of a monumental disaster.

At one point, the airport operator was telling passengers to just stay home until the problems were fixed. And even when things got slightly better, the airport was losing 1000 bags a day.

Another great example of an airport messing things up occurred when Gatwick saw a little snow, and decided to shut down for the morning, stranding thousands of passengers, and forcing planes to divert to neighboring airports.

A new government proposal could help improve things – it plans to give the UK Civil Aviation Authority more power to issue penalties to BAA, who operate most of the airports. The penalties will be in the form of rebates for the airlines who were impacted. Of course, this may not always benefit passengers, as the proposal does not force airlines to split their penalty proceeds with passengers.

Still, it is a step in the right direction, and if the penalties are stiff enough, it might help the offending airports realize they can’t always get away with being incompetent.

Heathrow annoying, Americans rude according to some social network

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The members of social network Where Are you Now? have spoken! Heathrow is the worst airport in the world, according to voters, thanks to passport control lines and baggage problems. The Brits don’t get all the glory, though. JFK in New York and Los Angeles picked up spots #2 and #3, respectively.

The good news, for Heathrow and JFK, at least, is that both were at the top of the list for security. Bangkok, Amsterdam and Rome were at the bottom. WAYN co-founder and joint chief executive Jerome Touze calls the survey results “pretty damning in terms of Heathrow’s reputation for passenger service.” Apparently, he doesn’t realize nobody gives a shit about WAYN’s opinion.

But, Heathrow is worth the wait, with the friendliest passport control officers outside Australia. They’re even nicer than the Canadians! U.S. customs officers were voted rudest, followed by those in India and Russia.

Again thinking that people give a damn about his opinion, Touze believes that “U.S. customs and immigration need address their attitude towards visitors, simplify the form filling, generally be a lot more welcoming and better reflect the personality of the American people.”

Thanks, Jerome. Because of your publicist prompted quote, we’ll get right on that.

WAYN’s survey included detail from 2,250 air travelers, who answered questions about customs, baggage handling and passport matters.

[Via Sydney Morning Herald]

Why are these the world’s best airports?


Click the image to find out!

South African flight crews know how to get high

by Tom Johansmeyer on

If you’re having trouble staying awake or just like to party, book your next flight on South African Airways. The UK Border Agency arrested 15 SAA crew members – nine men and six women – at Heathrow Airport. Why are they now guests of the Queen? This crew was caught trying to slip 11 lbs of cocaine into the country.

The episode is just another example of poor timing. The drugs are estimated to have a street value of ???250,000. If nose candy is pegged to the U.S. dollar, it would have been worth almost twice as much six months ago.

Last month, another 15 SAA crew members were busted at Heathrow for hauling cocaine and cannabis into England. They were a bit more ambitious, with a haul with an estimated value of ???310,000. The outcome, however, was the same. BBC News calls it a separate incident, but it smells like a pattern to me … and my nasal passages are clean.

The most recent perps were given bail and instructed to return to court on March 23. The only question that remains is how much more cocaine they’ll have to “import” to cover their legal fees.

[Via BBC News]


Only these women have caused more problems than SAA’s pilots!

Expect to wait, but not in Japan or Korea

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The worst airport delays in the world, of course, are those that affect you. If I’m stranded at LaGuardia‘s Marine Air terminal for a short hop to Boston, I really don’t care what’s going on over at JFK, O’Hare or anywhere else. However, some airports are more likely to inspire your anger than others, so it’s a pretty good idea to know which are the worst.

If you are headed to India or Europe, it seems, you should build a bit of extra time into your travels. India takes the top (or, lowest?) spot for the second year in a row, according to MSNBC. Mumbai‘s Chhatrapati Shivaji International is the worst of the worst; only 50 percent of its flights hit the ground on time last year. In New Delhi, Indira Gandhi International Airport had only a 51 percent success rate. Fortunately, both are expanding, with the latter having opened a new airport in October. Bangalore, which ranked fourth, has added a new airport.

Flight congestion is the culprit in arrival delays. But, it isn’t impeding departures. In Bangalore, for example, 80 percent of departures were on time, but only 60 percent arrived on time.

You can get out; you just can’t get in.

India isn’t the only country with arrival delays. Airports with tough on-time arrival rates include:

  • Casablanca‘s Mohammed V International Airport: 54 percent
  • Orio al Serio Airport near Bergamo, Italy: 61 percent
  • Birmingham Airport in England: 63 percent
  • London‘s Luton and Heathrow Airports: both 63 percent on time

And, in my neighborhood, it pays to bring a book with you to LaGuardia or Newark Liberty International. Both fail to impress, with on-time arrival rates of only 62 percent.

Now, if you’re looking for a bit of efficiency, try Japan or Korea. Every airport in each of these countries has an on-time arrival and departure percentage of at least 82 percent.

[Via MSNBC]