Inflight masturbation arrest blamed on “spilled hot sauce”

Inflight masturbationA 50 year old Floridian has been arrested after he exposed himself on a flight from Salt Lake City to Lewiston, ID. The man reportedly started masturbating next to a 17 year old girl on the plane, who then moved seats to get away from the pervert.

Upon arrival at the airport, the girl told her father, who contacted the Transportation Security Administration. When TSA officials contacted the local police department, the man was placed under arrest on suspicion of “misdemeanor indecent exposure”.

According to police, the man claims he spilled Tabasco sauce on his crotch, causing him to expose himself and rub violently to reduce the burning and itching.

Of course, anyone that has actually seen a bottle of Tabasco knows that the hot stuff comes out one drip at a time, so spilling enough to set your genitals on fire is a really lousy excuse. He’ll get to use his Tabasco excuse in front of a judge soon, who’ll have to decide whether this really is a case of inflight masturbation or something innocent.

[Photo from Flickr/nromagna]

Alleged flasher sues water park after arrest

Jane Lovett’s wet t-shirt aroused water park officials to take action last April. She was asked to leave the park because her padded bra was visible through the t-shirt (the horror!), and once she did leave, the cops were waiting. Apparently, she has been charged with indecent exposure, which would put every sunbather on Central Park‘s Great Lawn at risk of facing a firing squad (padded bras are not the norm there, I assure you … husbands, don’t bring your wives).

Here’s the way the arrest went down:

Lovett said she accompanied her husband and seven-year-old son to the water park. Outside the gates, she said a police officer asked for her identification. Tavares police claim Lovett didn’t give her name fast enough, WFTV reported. She was picked up on charges of obstruction of justice and resisting arrest without violence.

The charges have since been dropped, though the alleged indecency cost her five hours in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Lovett isn’t taking the experience lying down. She’s picked up a lawyer and plans to sue for “violation of civil rights, false arrest and malicious prosecution,” according to MSNBC.

[photo by bonez1255 via Flickr]

Swedish man + Singaporean woman = fine for naked walk

Jan and Eng went through a bar, each sans stitch of clothes. Neither fell down, but they were fined A$1,840 (around US$1,350) each.

Jan Philip and Eng Kai Er walked into a bar in Singapore’s Holland Village just for laughs after having a few drinks (big shock … drunk naked people). This isn’t exactly the best place for a thrill, however. Singapore doesn’t appreciate the unadorned human form, banning even Playboy magazine.

Both are exchange students – Philip is a studying in Singapore, and Er is a Singaporean studying in Sweden. When they appeared in court recently, they were fully clothed.

Fortunately, Philip is 21, and Er is 24. If they were over 50, this story wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun.

Model’s boyfriend puts the “bang” in Bangalore

It always starts with a drunken model. Always. Cover girl Sarah Hannon was beyond furious when awaking to find her boyfriend, Daniel Melia, engaged in a “sex act” with the woman next to him. It sounds like he had a middle seat and liked it!

Hannon fell asleep on a nine-hour flight from Bangalore to London, as anyone would hope to do on such a long flight. Oh, and having bent elbows with boyfriend certainly helped. Melia’s libido, however, resisted the powers of both fatigue and alcohol, and next seat neighbor, Clare Irby, was happy to help him out.

The alleged performance occurred under a blanket, and Melia and Irby thought nobody was the wiser … until a flight attendant stopped them, impeding pleasure and likely ending a show for many passengers bored with the in-flight movie. This is when Hannon woke up and Hannon started screaming.

The model was furious and had to be calmed by the flight crew. When Kingfisher Airlines Flight IT001 touched down at Heathrow, police boarded the plane and arrested all three. Melia and Irby were pinched for alleged indecency, while Hannon was nabbed for being drunk on an aircraft. All three made bail.

The local cops had little to say but got it right: “They certainly put the bang into Bangalore.”

[Via news.com.au]

Take off that swimming suit in Grenada

Indecency.The Caribbean island of Grenada has banned bathing suits! Unfortunately, they don’t want to see your bits and pieces; they want you to put on something else.

Wearing your g-string at the beach is still okay, but walk around inland with just your bikini top on? You could be slapped with a $270 Indecent Exposure fine. No shirt, no shoes, no Grenada.

It’s fair enough, we suppose, considering that walking around in your swimming suit is akin to walking around in your underwear — and they don’t like that, either, the law also applies to low-slung gangsta pants.

Recently, a group of tourists who were at a Grenada fort in beachwear were sent back to their cruise ship to change. This ain’t no St. Tropez!

[via The New Zealand Herald]