SkyMall Monday: Jumpin Jammerz ACTUAL REVIEW

by Mike Barish on


Last week, SkyMall Monday focused its keen eye on Jumpin Jammerz. As promised, this week we’re bringing you our actual hands-on review of the footed pajamas. We put Jumpin Jammerz through their paces to see if they deserve their place in the SkyMall catalog. Are they as fun as their marketing videos make them out to be? The short answer: No. Are they comfortable? Not unless you enjoy stewing in your own juices. Do they live up to their claim of being the “do anything, wear anywhere” footed pajamas? Why not just watch this video edition of SkyMall Monday to find out.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Jumpin Jammerz

by Mike Barish on

With cold weather rapidly heading our way, it’s time to start thinking about our winter wardrobes again. Down jackets, knit caps and wool socks do the job when we’re outdoors. Sweaters keep us warm at the office (including the SkyMall Monday headquarters). However, when it comes time to sleep, we’re left to burrow into our blankets to stay warm. Why aren’t we wearing pajamas? As children, we wore pajamas to bed and it made sense. They were warm, comfortable and absorbed the various liquids that the human body leaks while at rest. Sadly, as adults, we typically eschew proper pajamas for old t-shirts, sweatpants or, for the whores, nudity [Author’s note: This is what we in the industry call “a joke.” I, too, sleep in the nude and am not a whore. A sense of humor goes a long way towards enjoying this column, folks]. That leads to cold nights and damp sheets. It seems to me that our departure from pajamas is some kind of evolutionary mistake. Our ancestors wore animal skins for warmth. They also had there own luxuriously thick body hair to retain heat. Now, we shave and wax off our hair and use our best animal skins for luxury car seats. Our priorities are all out of whack and we’re going to freeze to death in our sleep because of our vanity. I say it’s high time we returned to our pajama roots. Thankfully, SkyMall knows and understands our needs. That’s why they sell Jumpin Jammerz fleece footed pajamas for adults.Even people who do wear pajamas typically wear some plaid pants and, at best, a t-shirt. That leaves their feet grossly uncovered. What’s that you say? Socks keep your feet warm at night? First of all, people who sleep in socks are most likely serial killers or freaks. That’s a fact. Look it up. Second of all, socks can slide off at night, exposing your feet to winter chills that can become pneumonia and kill you. It happens. Look that up too. Footed pajamas keep your feet warm and keep your body heat circulating throughout your pajamas like a rotisserie oven.

Think that blankets can keep you warm at night? Believe that adults look ridiculous in footed pajamas? Well, you pay your heating bills while the rest of us read the product description:

Undeniably cute and yet boasts a playful pajama attitude that can suit everyone. The do anything, wear anywhere — Footed Pajamas.

While I know that you are undeniably cute (all of my readers are), I’ve always felt that you’ve lacked that playful pajama attitude required to earn that promotion/find a mate/survive a nuclear holocaust. Also, lest you think that Jumpin Jammerz fleece footed pajamas were solely for the home, rest assured that these can be worn “anywhere.” Finally, a pajama fit for the office, dinner party or funeral.

Rather than curl up and die with the rest of the freezing pajama-less masses, fleece up in some Jumpin Jammerz so that you can live to share the oral history of your people for generations to come.

And yes, I recall that I might have mocked Jumpin Jammerz in 2008’s SkyMall Monday Holiday Gift Guide. After writing this week’s SkyMall Monday, re-reading my gift guide review and remembering that even the CEO of SkyMall has purchased herself a pair, I felt as though I owed it to Mr. and Mrs. Jammerz to try out their product. So, next week’s SkyMall Monday will be an actual review of Jumpin Jammerz. Things are going to get sweaty.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: An Interview with SkyMall CEO Christine Aguilera

by Mike Barish on

We’re doing something a little different for SkyMall Monday this week. There will be no review of an amazing and much-needed SkyMall product. Instead, I am pleased to share with you my interview with the CEO of Skymall, Christine Aguilera. Ms. Aguilera was kind enough to answer my questions despite the fact that she is familiar with SkyMall Monday and reads my reviews. In fact, she admitted to finding me funny. As such, I respect and admire her greatly.

Even after learning that Ms. Aguilera was not the multiplatinum recording sensation, I was still eager to get her thoughts on the inner workings of SkyMall, its most popular products and who in their right mind would buy medical supplies from an airplane catalog.

What is the best-selling product in SkyMall’s history?

The Mosquito Magnet, an electronic device to attract and kill mosquitoes. It debuted in SkyMall and is our top seller to date. We’ve also sold a ton of nose hair trimmers.

What is currently the most popular product in terms of recent sales?

Top-selling products change from week to week. Some of the recent top sellers include: The Edge Baking Pan, the iPhone iPod battery, the upside-down tomato garden, and the spy pen.
Currently, how many different products does SkyMall offer?

There are approximately 2,000 products in our in-flight catalog and 15,000 products online.

Do vendors approach SkyMall to carry their products?

We receive approximately 100 inquiries per week regarding featuring product in the SkyMall catalog and on SkyMall.com. We also have a team of merchandisers that work directly manufacturers and attend trade shows to find new and interesting products.

Is there a giant SkyMall warehouse with all of the products or do you partner with your vendors to handle the shipment of orders?

SkyMall does not warehouse any inventory; all merchandise is shipped directly by the product supplier.

How many airlines carry SkyMall?

SkyMall is on 13 airlines and Amtrak. The title of the catalog on Amtrak is “TravelMall” but it features the same products as the SkyMall catalog.

Who vets potential products to make sure that they are suitable for SkyMall?

We have a team of merchandisers that review each product.

Could I be the official SkyMall product tester? How does one get such a job?

We don’t really have one official product tester but you are more than welcome to buy a bunch products and post reviews on SkyMall.com. We would LOVE that!

Has SkyMall ever refused to carry a product?

SkyMall carries products that are innovative, unique, or solution oriented. If something doesn’t fit that description, it won’t be considered. We also make sure that products are appropriate for “family friendly” viewing.

Who writes the product descriptions for SkyMall?

Most descriptions come directly from the catalog partner. Some are written by SkyMall staff.

Q: Should people be purchasing Shingles medication from SkyMall?

A: Only if they have Shingles.

How often is the paper catalog updated?

The inflight catalog is updated four times each year. We are constantly adding new product to SkyMall.com

How many catalogs are printed annually?

About 20 million.

How has the popularity of internet shopping affected SkyMall’s business?

The internet has been great for us. We’ve had a site since 1996. On SkyMall.com we can feature more products, include product reviews, and interact with customers in new ways.

What percentage of SkyMall sales come from the catalog vs. the website?

60% website, 40% catalog

What is the “Mobile Virtual Store” that SkyMall has launched?

SkyMall has a mobile shopping site. Customers can view product and make purchases directly from their mobile devices. They can also SMS an item number to 49432 to make a purchase.

Has Snuggie‘s direct marketing campaign affected SkyMall’s sales of the Slanket?

The Slanket was very popular this past winter. We don’t really have a way to gauge if its sales were impacted by competing products.

Is there such thing as a “typical” or “average” SkyMall customer?

They’re typically earlier adopters of technology and business decision makers…they like to have things the neighbors don’t have.

What is your favorite current SkyMall product?

The Wonder Woman bracelet! Really!

Do you purchase SkyMall items? What do you own from the catalog?

All the time…a door mat, bug vacuum, wine chiller, Jumpin Jammerz, giant cupcake pan.

SkyMall is known for carrying some, shall we say, odd products. What do you think the public’s perception of SkyMall is?

For every wacky product that someone sees, they see another that they just have to have. What I think is cool, you might think is ridiculous and vice versa.

Even you must think that some of the products in SkyMall are a bit strange. Which products make you shake your head and wonder, “Who would buy that?”

I’m not a big fan of the Garden Yeti (but our VP of Marketing loves hers.)

What do you say to people who laugh at SkyMall or some of the products?

I’m glad we’ve made you smile! People should do more of that!

Should people be purchasing Shingles medication from SkyMall?

Only if they have Shingles.

Touché, Ms. Aguilera. Touché.

Special thanks to Joey O’Donnell of SkyMall for his assistance in coordinating this interview.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Holiday Gift Ideas

by Mike Barish on

Good tidings to you, my SkyMall Maniacs (congratulations, I’ve given you a nickname). We’re doing something a little different here at SkyMall Monday this week. With Hanukkah in full effect and Christmas mere days away, I’m going to do you a solid and give you some last minute gift ideas straight from the greatest catalog on Earth. Forget the hassles of the mall or the big box stores. Sit back, relax, and let SkyMall do all the work for you (with my help, of course).

iWear Vr920 (photo above) – Why just be a nerdy gamer when you could be a nerdy gamer playing in “virtual reality?” Just don your favorite blazer, log into World of Warcraft and have your friends call you “Geordi La Forge.”

Animated Hitch Critters – Because you’re white trash and gosh darn proud of it.

Body Toning System – We just don’t subject ourselves to “electro muscle stimulation” nearly enough. Besides, what does all the research supporting a lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise really mean anyways? Certainly standing around while electrocuting your abs is the real secret to getting that six pack.

Warm Whiskers Neck Wrap (photo at left) – Because the local shelter won’t let you adopt anymore of their precious real cats and the county is threatening to investigate that smell coming from your backyard.

Dermaseptic – Tis the season to manage those herpes outbreaks.

Forest Faces – Forest Faces are the “newest craze in outdoor decor.” Finally, the old craze in outdoor decor, “nature,” has been supplanted by a much more organic way to decorate trees: athletic decorations with stereotypically racist facial features.

Feline Drinking Fountain – This water fountain keeps water moving, “encouraging proper hydration by attracting pets to drink more, thereby reducing the risk of urinary tract infection.” I never knew feline urinary tract infections were such a major concern. Can’t your cat just drink some cranberry juice and have a bad attitude for a few days?

Portable Video Magnifier – Sure, you’re well aware that magnifying glasses have existed for centuries. And yeah, you know that they’re cheap, lightweight and would really help your elderly grandmother read the newspaper, organize coupons and write checks. But you have money to burn and an intense desire to let grandma know that you did amount to something after all. So, drop $789 and get grandma the Portable Video Magnifier. That’ll show her who the real failure is.

Jumpin Jammerz (photo at left) – Are you in an asexual relationship with a partner who respects your complete lack of libido? Does he or she have the bowel control necessary to make it to the bathroom and then completely disrobe before doing the business? Would they love to wake up in a pool of their own sweat every morning? Then yes, you should totally get that person a pair of adult footed pajamas. Glad we had this talk.

Sound Activated Shirt – I just spent 45 minutes trying to come up with a reason why you should buy this. That’s a new SkyMall Monday record.

Of course, if none of these amazing SkyMall gift ideas would appeal to your loved ones, you could always take a look at Gadling’s Holiday Gift Guide. There are tons of great ideas there.

Happy holidays from SkyMall Monday. Be sure to check back next week when we count down some of the best SkyMall Monday reviews from 2008!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.