Airport people watching games

I try to get work done at the airport. When I manage it, I usually do very productive, focused work. But by “manage it,” that means I need a comfy place to plug in my computer, decent wifi reception, and preferably someone bringing me food and drinks and not staring me down to get the table back.

When these conditions are not met, I make up people-watching games. “I Spy” is so last millennium. Here are two that worked for me at JFK last week, as I munched on ciabatta bread that had the texture of a rubber doorstop.

1. Hairwatch
You can play with a friend (whoever spots the ‘do first gets the points), or against yourself in twenty minute intervals. Points are allotted as follows:

Didn’t brush their hair today and probably not yesterday either – 1 point
Creepy/bad highlights – 1 point
Unnatural colors like purple or green – 2 points
Mullet – 10 points
Big as Texas – 5 points
and the ultimate: Scrunchie – 20 points

Watch for foreign flight attendants with the scrunchies. Who told them that was okay?

2. Baby Mamma Drama
Another point game:

Stroller – 2 points
Stuffed animal – 2 points
Stroller with pregnant mom – 5 points
Twins – 5 points
Child strapped/harnessed to adult – 5 points
Crying child – 10 points
Child in bar – 10 points
Child on leash – 20 points

But don’t let people know you’re looking at their children, they’ll think you’re creepy.