Where did the commies go?

by Grant Martin on

With September came the near fall of another Communitst leader, as Kim Jong Il, dictator over North Korea vanished from the limelight, joining his Cuban counterpart Fidel Castro in the murky depths of unknown, fiercely hidden ailments.

The realist in me knows that both leaders are gravely ill. Kim Jong Il is said to have suffered a stroke early this month and hasn’t since been seen in public — even for state celebrations. In a similar light, Castro, who seems to have largely recovered from last year’s digestive problems, has resigned from his official state role in Cuban politics and now stays largely out of the public eye — no doubt because he is still an aging, fragile man.

But the conspiracy theorist in my has broader, more hopeful aspirations. I think about these two ailing leaders and wonder if perhaps, Communism has taken a toll on them over these last years and if maybe they’ve finally thrown in the towel and headed out to the beach for some good old vaycay.

I see Kim Jong and Fidel sitting on chaise lounges in the Indonesian Archipelago somewhere, bare feet up and drinking out of coconuts while looking out at the setting sun over a crisp, white beach. And Kim Jong looks over, out of his massive blue blockers at Fidel as the Cuban puts down his latest Harry Potter book to take a pull off his strawberry daiquiri. And Kim says, “Hey buddy… we gave it a shot.”

Wherever you two are, know this: I would take two old school Communist evil doers over one rambunctious Latin American president any day of the week. May your countries be open and peaceful and prosperous without you.

Hilarious headlines from the North Korean Central News Agency

by Aaron Hotfelder on

Every once in a while, I like to head over to the website of North Korea’s state-run news agency to see what propaganda they’re currently feeding their unsuspecting populace. Here are a couple headlines and stories I’ve found:

“Kim Jong Il Praised As Most Famous Person of World”

The U.S. magazine “Time” praised him as the most outstanding statesman among the world’s famous politicians in 2004 and an excellent leader in 2006. And this year it listed him as the leader who has the biggest influence on the change of the world and the best reputed leader in the world.

“Scientific Successes in Growing Kimjongilia in DPRK”

Scientists of the DPRK have gained lots of successes in deep-going scientific researches for growing Kimjongilia, the immortal flower admired by all the people, more beautifully over the last 20 years since a newly cultured flower was named Kimjongilia.

“U.S. and S. Korean Warmongers’ Saber Rattling Under Fire”

The U.S. has insisted the recent joint military exercises were of “defensive nature” though they involved adventurous plays with fire aimed at vitiating the peaceful atmosphere on the Korean Peninsula and bringing a nuclear war disaster to the Korean nation. This is like burying its head ostrich-like in the sand… The U.S. and South Korean trigger-happy forces have always watched for a chance to invade the DPRK.

Unsurprisingly, a recurring theme emerges after a brief look through the “news” agency’s archive: Kim Jong Il is universally admired and beloved, except by the war-mongering United States and its sycophantic ally, South Korea.

For more on this hermit kingdom, check out Neil Woodburn’s series, “Infiltrating North Korea.”

Infiltrating North Korea Part 8: The Cult of Kim

by Neil Woodburn on

“Comrad Kim Il Sung is worshipped by the Korean people, not only as the liberator of the Korean nation, but also as the genuine father and teacher who provided them with all rights and benefits which are indistinguishable to independent beings” –Pyongyang Review

The cult of Kim permeates North Korea.

From the moment we arrived at the Pyongyang airport and were greeted with a large smiling mosaic of Kim Il Sung on the outside of the terminal, there was hardly a moment when the face of either the leader or his son were not staring down on us in one form or another. “The Great Leader Comrade Kim Il Sung will always be with us!” is the most popular of political slogans in the North, and perhaps the most accurate as well.

Kim Il Sung was North Korea’s first leader following the defeat of the Japanese in World War II. He was trained under the Red Army and handpicked by the Soviets to take control of their newest colony. And he did not disappoint. The new leader quickly whipped the North Koreans into a communist stronghold that actually outpaced South Korea with rebuilding and economic growth in the immediate years following the war.

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In the process, Kim established himself as an omnipotent, iron-fisted ruler who tolerated no dissent, exiled opponents and naysayers to concentration camps, and cut off the population from international contact. A pervasive secret police force bolstered by an invasive network of personal informants further ensured that everyone toed the party line.

Like all communist leaders worth their salt, Kim patterned himself as the nation’s messiah. Through a carefully orchestrated combination of nonstop propaganda, brainwashing, and continuous re-education, North Korea has emerged as the world’s largest cult and Kim Il Sung as its glorified leader.

Kim is integrated into all aspects of life: children sing praises to him at school and workers honor him with shrines at their factories. Kim’s portrait is also hanging in every classroom, train station, public square and on the front of every official building. As if that’s not enough, every single North Korean adult is also required to wear a pin of his likeness on their lapel. “Korean people revere him as their father,” Pyongyang Review says, “and deem it their duty and their loftiest moral obligation to hold him, the man who fed and led them, high and loyal.”

Since Kim’s death in 1994, his son, Kim Jong Il, has assumed the throne and is now featured prominently in state propaganda standing beside the Great Leader (who has posthumously been promoted to Eternal President) or gloriously leading the nation forward on his own. In what is undoubtedly the only choice North Koreans have had in deciding a leader, they can now pick between their pins of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il to decide which leader they will affix to their lapel.

There is simply no escaping the Kims when traveling through North Korea. The above gallery is just a small selection of the never ending flood of statues, mosaics, photographs, and other Kim iconography we encountered during our five days embedded in the world’s largest cult.

Yesterday: The Mass Games
Tomorrow: Worshipping at the Altar of Kim