Minnie Mouse molester convicted

John William Moyer, a 60-year-old visitor to Walt Disney World probably won’t be welcome at the theme park any longer. The Cressona, Pennsylvania resident was convicted of feeling up Minnie Mouse (yes, there are people inside those suits). Moyer claimed he was innocent, and his son vouched for him, saying that his father would never touch a woman inappropriately.

Meanwhile, the victim reveals, according to an Associated Press report, that “she had to do everything possible to keep Moyer’s hands off her breasts.”

Moyer was nailed for misdemeanor battery. His punishment includes 180 days probation, 50 hours of community service and to write an apology to the victim. He’s also on the hook for $1,000 in court costs and may have to submit to a mental evaluation.

Apparently, nobody told Moyer that he could ogle all the boobs he wants over at Splash Mountain, where the ladies can’t seem (to be bothered to) keep their shirts on.

Flight attendant arrested for touchy situation

The next time you complain about the service from flight attendants, consider the opposite extreme. Jaime Daria Samia, an attendant on United Airlines, was arrested in Chicago after (allegedly) he allegedly rubbed the hand and arm of a 16-year-old passenger … and kicked in a few inappropriate comments to make the situation worse.

The boy’s father reportedly told police that this behavior persisted through the entire four-hour flight, even after the minor told Samia to stop. For not recognizing boundaries – or simply listening to the alleged victim – the 57-year-old FA will have to appear in Cook County Criminal Court on August 11, 2009 on a misdemeanor battery charge. He was released on $100 bond and is being “held out of service” pending the results of the investigation.