Bamboozle: 10 things you should know before you go

Bamboozle is a music festival that takes place in New Jersey every year right around this time of the year. Founded by John D’Esposito, Bamboozle began in 2003. While keeping up the annual festival in New Jersey, Bamboozle has also acted as the Bamboozle Roadshow and a festival in other cities, like Chicago, Illinois and Anaheim, California. The festival attracts close to 100,000 people each year–and most of those people are traveling to the festival from somewhere outside of East Rutherford, New Jersey.

The lineup for Bamboozle 2011, which kicks off tomorrow, certainly includes some head-turning
acts. Motley Crue, Lil Wayne, and Bruno Mars are some of the names you’ll see in big bold type on the show’s ads, but some perhaps-lesser-known acts will prove to be worth your turnpike road trip if you catch their sets. I’m not gonna tell you who to see, but I’ll tell you this… if I were going to Bamboozle, I’d be sure to check out Circa Survive, An Horse, Das Racist, Eisley, Starting Last, and Thrice.

If you’re traveling to Bamboozle, you probably already have your tickets since the festival is happening tomorrow. But you might not have done your homework yet on everything you can and can’t do at Bamboozle. Before you pack your bags and depart for a New Jersey music adventure, make sure you know the rules and have packed accordingly. Because nothing quite kills a music festival buzz like having your brand new cooler confiscated.

So here we are, in no particular order, none at all, some things you should know before you go.
1. The New Meadowlands Stadium is a smoke-free stadium. Roll this one around in your mouth for a minute… you won’t be smoking inside the festival. So if you have a nicotine lust that’s hard to kick, it would be to your advantage to think of a workable solution before you’re sweating anxious bullets, begging a security guard for mercy.

2. Don’t wear clothing that displays indecent messages. How exactly ‘indecent’ is defined here is beyond my conjecturing, but I’m sure your best judgment will do the trick.

3. You may only bring in a bag that’s no larger than 12 inches on each side. Giant-purse-wearing-ladies and backpack-carrying-dudes: beware. Not only will your bags be searched, but you won’t be bringing them into the festival at all if they’re too big. And if you can’t bring in your bag, then you can’t bring in your raincoat and your hoodie and if you can’t bring those two things in, what are you going to do when it’s cold and raining? Wish you’d brought a smaller bag, that’s what you’ll do.

4. You cannot bring in: bottles, cans, hard-sided coolers, thermoses, or ice chests. Translation: Basically, you’re going to have to buy your beverages inside the festival. Even if you manage to bring in the right kind of cooler, you know, the kind with soft sides, you’ll still have to fill it with drinks purchased inside. And even though they didn’t explicitly say ‘no flasks’, you can’t bring in alcohol, either.

5. No lawn chairs. If you want to comfortably set up shop in front of the stage all day long on your nice little lawn chair, well, it ain’t gonna happen.

6. Don’t bring in stickers or promotional materials. Chances are strong that your band is already struggling enough. The last thing you guys need is to watch a bag-check employee trash the newly printed cds you had made just for Bamboozle promotion. Save yourself some time, money, energy, and tears by leaving the promotional material at home to begin with.

7. Leave the umbrella behind. Bamboozle might be a rain or shine festival, but if it rains, it’s on you to keep yourself dry. You can’t bring your umbrella inside, which means, I’m guessing, you either get to purchase an umbrella inside if it rains or you’ll be expected to mud-fight with other attendees circa Woodstock ’94.

8. Leave the baby behind, too. Ok. I take that back. You can bring babies to Bamboozle, but you can’t bring strollers. So keep this stroller-ban in mind before you decide on whether or not you’ll be bringing your young one along.

9. No: beach balls, banners, flags of any kind, frisbees, or laser pointers. You’ll have to figure out how to have fun without these toys.

10. All bags AND VEHICLES are subject to inspection upon entry. Anyone who refuses can be turned away. And depending on what you’re hiding in your trunk, you might be better off turning away.

Image Credit: Dana Cama

Tommy Lee wants to make SeaWorld sex tape

Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee has thought a lot about whale masturbation this week.

Lee contends that to obtain sperm for breeding purposes, SeaWorld has someone “masturbate” Tillikum, a killer whale at the theme park who was responsible for the death of trainer Dawn Brancheau earlier this year.

Lee says it is “sick and twisted,” and that it violates SeaWorld’s own policies regarding trainer and whale interaction, which were revised after Brancheau’s death.

On Wednesday, SeaWorld responded to the rocker’s letter complaining about whale breeding practices by saying that Lee needs to “spend more time checking his facts.”

So, in a second letter — which PETA sent to Gadling today — Lee suggests that the best way to check his facts would be to come to Orlando and see the collection of whale semen for himself.

“To settle this, how about PETA and I come to SeaWorld and videotape the process, and then people can decide how natural it is?” Lee writes.

“It might make your dramatic news releases about a new orca pregnancy or birth less appealing, but the public deserves to know. And they’ve undoubtedly never seen a sex tape like this.”

Manual stimulation of animals is a regular breeding practice used with livestock and with some species at zoos and aquariums.

[Image credit: Flickr user Bread & CBG]

Helo pilot grounded because of in-flight porn star tryst

Definition of good sex: you’re willing to come back for more
Definition of great sex: you’re willing to piss away your pilot’s license
Definition of unforgettable sex: “great” sex with a porn star

David Martz is stupid enough to make receiving oral sex unpleasant. How? He was videotaped(!) on the receiving end of a passenger’s lips while flying a helicopter around San Diego. If this is some flyboy version of “put out or get out,” it may have made more sense not to let the camera roll.

What the LA Times doesn’t tell you is that Martz is Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee‘s helicopter pilot … and his passenger was none other than porn star Puma Swede (link to Wikipedia, safe for work).

The National Transportation Safety Board is out for satisfaction – much like Martz, ironically – and pushed to have his license revoked. Going down over San Diego (the helicopter, not the passenger) could have led to lost lives and plenty of property damage.

According to the NTSB, the blowjob itself wasn’t the problem. Pilot and passenger were busted because the video showed both unfastening their seatbelts … apparently much more dangerous than unfastening buttons. The giver’s body blocked the receiver’s access to the controls. Puma Swede, however, says that the whole incident didn’t take long (sorry, Martz). So, maybe the safety folks are being a bit tough on the fast-shooter.

The ruling handed down deprives Martz of his license for one year, though he can appeal the NTSB decision in federal court. Before the 2005 BJ, this pilot’s license was suspended twice and revoked once. But, he stayed out of trouble until being thanked for the spin four years ago.

Believe it or not, Martz almost got away with hit. He received the aerial bliss on May 29, 2005. This year, though, the video popped up on the internet, arousing suspicion and ultimately leading to action.

After the jump, check out a YouTube-friendly version of the video that grounded Martz, and an interview with the lovely Puma Suede.