SkyMall Monday: Digital Nightvision Scope

Outside of the SkyMall Monday Headquarters, I’ve seen some epically beautifully things. Soaring mountains, raging waterfalls and rolling meadows that stretched towards what seemed like an infinite horizon. Yep, the world is a beautiful place. But, sometimes that beauty is hiding. Sometimes, that beauty tries to evade you. Sometimes, you have to hunt for that beauty. You see, from time to time, the greatest natural wonder is also the most clever: human. What’s more beautiful than a young lady who perhaps you once datedl. Or who is living in a fifth floor apartment? Or whose court ordered restraining order requires you to stay 100 yards from her? Yes, that is the truest of beauties. But how does one appreciate this gorgeous scenery when the sun goes down? And how does one gaze upon its wonder from a distance approved by local law enforcement? Thankfully, SkyMall understands that beauty is not always about mountains and waterfalls that everyone can share. Sometimes it’s about a beauty that only you deserve to see. And in those complicated times, there’s no better tool for the lover of beauty than the 250′ Digital Nightvision Scope.

With its 250′ range and six hours of battery life, it’s a shame that it doesn’t come with a sandwich, because you’re going to be lurking in the bushes for a while. Now, neither distance nor darkness will stop you from appreciating the natural beauty of that girl who just doesn’t understand that only you can make her happy. Don’t think that a Digital Nightvision Scope is the way to appreciate all the beauty that the world has to offer? Why won’t you people just leave me alone? Well, at least the official SkyMall product description understands me.

Perfect for late night counter-surveillance or daytime surveillance operations…With the help of a tripod, it can be used for stationary long-term viewing as well as for video recording on peripheral equipment.

She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine. Sure, you could use the Digital Nightvision Scope to view those mountains and waterfalls and meadows. But that scenery won’t help you pleasure yourself (unless mountains are your thing, freak).

So, fix yourself a sandwich, grab your favorite lotion and bring the Digital Nightvision Scope with you as you perch yourself on your favorite tree branch. You finally have a room with a view.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.