Where did the commies go?

by Grant Martin on

With September came the near fall of another Communitst leader, as Kim Jong Il, dictator over North Korea vanished from the limelight, joining his Cuban counterpart Fidel Castro in the murky depths of unknown, fiercely hidden ailments.

The realist in me knows that both leaders are gravely ill. Kim Jong Il is said to have suffered a stroke early this month and hasn’t since been seen in public — even for state celebrations. In a similar light, Castro, who seems to have largely recovered from last year’s digestive problems, has resigned from his official state role in Cuban politics and now stays largely out of the public eye — no doubt because he is still an aging, fragile man.

But the conspiracy theorist in my has broader, more hopeful aspirations. I think about these two ailing leaders and wonder if perhaps, Communism has taken a toll on them over these last years and if maybe they’ve finally thrown in the towel and headed out to the beach for some good old vaycay.

I see Kim Jong and Fidel sitting on chaise lounges in the Indonesian Archipelago somewhere, bare feet up and drinking out of coconuts while looking out at the setting sun over a crisp, white beach. And Kim Jong looks over, out of his massive blue blockers at Fidel as the Cuban puts down his latest Harry Potter book to take a pull off his strawberry daiquiri. And Kim says, “Hey buddy… we gave it a shot.”

Wherever you two are, know this: I would take two old school Communist evil doers over one rambunctious Latin American president any day of the week. May your countries be open and peaceful and prosperous without you.

Gadling’s Jerry Guo writes in the Washington Post about his “Excellent North Korean Adventure”

by Aaron Hotfelder on

We here at Gadling don’t like to brag, but between Neil Woodburn’s Infiltrating North Korea series and Jerry Guo‘s new article in the Washington Post, we’ve got North Korea covered.

This past Sunday, Jerry wrote a dispatch from the kingdom of North Korea, and concluded that, hey, maybe things aren’t quite as depressing and bizarre as everyone says. Here are a couple excerpts from the article:

“The truth is that the DPRK I toured this summer is, in many ways, no different from countless other struggling fourth-world nations, with its share of haves and have-nots. And in the capital of Pyongyang, where the country’s elites dwell, I saw — beneath the veneer of Western paranoia and Stalinist mind-control — fleeting signs of grassroots capitalism: street vendors hawking junk food, indoor markets brimming with imported goods, even murmurs of drug use in the swanky underground casino.”

“[M]uch to my surprise, I didn’t see a single People’s Army cadet goose-step past me with those missile-launchers-on-wheels that appear on the nightly news. What I did witness: a mother buying a soda for her daughter from a sidewalk snack cart; two older women sitting on a bench, gossiping and eating pears; businessmen coming out of the subway, sans Bluetooth headsets; a grimacing teenage boy getting a haircut at a salon.

“This was not the bizarro-land that I’ve read about in countless magazine articles and history books. No, this could have been Anytown, USA. Then I stumbled upon what turned out to be Pyongyang’s grandest indoor market; these off-the-books hives of capitalism, with their distinctive blue roofs, were rumored to have cropped up shortly after the widespread 2002 economic reforms, the first semblance of free markets at work.”

Encouraging, sort of.

Be sure to read Jerry’s whole article here.

Big in Japan: North Korea invents super high-calorie noodle

by Matthew Firestone on

This may just be the coolest bit of news you read all day…

While any news story involving North Korean scientists tends to be about nuclear proliferation, today’s Big in Japan post is in fact a salute to these hard-working men and women.

In a failed state that does not produce enough food to feed its population, and is largely reliant on food aid provided by foreign donors, the invention of a super high-calorie noodle is indeed cause for celebration.

According to a recent article in the Choson Shinbo, a Japan-based, pro-Pyongyang newspaper, North Korean scientists have created a new type of noodle that has twice as much protein and fives times as much fat as ordinary ramen.

Made largely of corn and soybean, the new noodles are an engineering breakthrough in their ability to leave people feeling fuller, longer. The paper also reports that the new super high-calorie noodles are specially designed to delay feelings of hunger.

This culinary achievement is being hailed as further evidence of the mighty and divine power of Kim Il-sung, the deceased ‘eternal ruler’ of the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea (DPRK).

Keep reading for more on DPRK’s new ramen revolution…

As reported by a pro-Pyongyang newspaper earlier this week, North Korean scientists are celebrating the invention of a new super high-calorie noodle.

According to the Choson Shinbo, “When you consume ordinary noodles made from wheat or corn, you may soon feel your stomach empty. But this soybean noodle delays such a feeling of hunger.”

Sounds good to me. After all, it’s hard to discount the claims of a country ruled by an immortal leader, especially when they come from such official sounding government ministries as the ‘Propaganda and Agitation Department of the Workers’ Party.’ Right.

Of course, the invention of this new type of ramen noodle couldn’t come at a better time, especially since the United Nations (UN) warned last month that North Korean residents are experiencing their worst food shortages in more than a decade.

However, the notoriously reclusive communist country is extremely reluctant to allow foreigners to assess the scale of the problem, or to even allow the proper distribution of emergency food aid within its tightly controlled borders.

So, it looks like the humble ramen noodle might soon take up the front lines in the fight for the hearts and bellies of ordinary North Koreans. Over the next few months, the DPRK government will be mass-producing the noodle, and distributing it in bulk before the bitter winter descends on the Motherland.

Sadly, this is no laughing matter, especially since an estimated one million people starved to death in North Korea in the late 1990s. Furthermore, the World Food Programme (WFP) warned last month that six million people were in urgent need of food aid.

While it’s difficult to actually gauge the severity of the situation on the ground, reports that ordinary North Koreans have taken to scavenging for wild foods are not very encouraging. On that note, let’s all hope and pray that this super noodle really is the miracle food it’s purported to be.

** Images courtesy of the WikiCommons Media Project **

Hilarious headlines from the North Korean Central News Agency

by Aaron Hotfelder on

Every once in a while, I like to head over to the website of North Korea’s state-run news agency to see what propaganda they’re currently feeding their unsuspecting populace. Here are a couple headlines and stories I’ve found:

“Kim Jong Il Praised As Most Famous Person of World”

The U.S. magazine “Time” praised him as the most outstanding statesman among the world’s famous politicians in 2004 and an excellent leader in 2006. And this year it listed him as the leader who has the biggest influence on the change of the world and the best reputed leader in the world.

“Scientific Successes in Growing Kimjongilia in DPRK”

Scientists of the DPRK have gained lots of successes in deep-going scientific researches for growing Kimjongilia, the immortal flower admired by all the people, more beautifully over the last 20 years since a newly cultured flower was named Kimjongilia.

“U.S. and S. Korean Warmongers’ Saber Rattling Under Fire”

The U.S. has insisted the recent joint military exercises were of “defensive nature” though they involved adventurous plays with fire aimed at vitiating the peaceful atmosphere on the Korean Peninsula and bringing a nuclear war disaster to the Korean nation. This is like burying its head ostrich-like in the sand… The U.S. and South Korean trigger-happy forces have always watched for a chance to invade the DPRK.

Unsurprisingly, a recurring theme emerges after a brief look through the “news” agency’s archive: Kim Jong Il is universally admired and beloved, except by the war-mongering United States and its sycophantic ally, South Korea.

For more on this hermit kingdom, check out Neil Woodburn’s series, “Infiltrating North Korea.”

Infiltrating North Korea Part 17: Video Tour of Pyongyang Highlights

by Neil Woodburn on

I was a bit concerned bringing my camcorder into North Korea because I had read that zoom lenses 10X and higher were prohibited in the country. No one checked my camera on the way in, however, and I was therefore able to use my zoom throughout North Korea.

I had specifically purchased the camcorder to film the Mass Games, but ended up spending much of the trip filming simple panorama shots of downtown Pyongyang and some of the tourist sites we visited. This would have been horribly boring in most any other city, but Pyongyang is so very unique and such a rare sight, that my urban footage was some of my most interesting–at least, in my opinion.

And so today, we wind down the series (just two more posts!) with a short video collage of some of the more memorable landmarks we encountered during our stay in the North Korean capital.
The video starts with some karaoke we enjoyed one night after dinner. We then move on to a 360 degree shot of downtown Pyongyang that highlights the Arc of Triumph, the Ryugyong Hotel, the Kim Il Sung Stadium and a massive mosaic picturing Kim Il Sung addressing the masses.

We get a much closer view of the Ryugyong Hotel in the next clip which also features the Pyongyang Indoor Stadium, the city’s cylindrical ice rink, and a very long line for the bus.

And then it’s below ground to check out the extravagant, art-filled metro and wonder if the commuters are actual commuters, or simply actors pretending that the subway works.

We wrap up the video with the grandiose entranceway to the People’s Study Hall in Pyongyang that’s dominated by a massive statue of Kim Il Sung–and yes, our guides bowed deeply to the marble edifice upon entering the room. The shot immediately following is of the main lobby just up a nearby escalator where Kim Jong Il makes a smiling, Cheshire-cat appearance in an oil painting hanging on the wall. And then, finally, we fade out with the classic photos found at the front of every classroom in the Study Hall.

And that’s it. Although my cinematography skills leave a lot to be desired (it’s a new camera, folks!) I do hope that this short video has painted a much clearer picture of the world’s most mysterious and reclusive capital.

Yesterday: A Sunday Drive through Pyongyang
Tomorrow: A Tale of Two Cities