Traveling Pants from Ex Officio

I get that folks think they’re practical or that they take up less space in the bag, but whenever I see someone wearing those pants with the zip off legs so they convert into shorts, I think, “Really? Are you so tight with space that you can’t find room for pants AND shorts?”

This is not the fault of Ex Officio, it’s just that my not very high bar for fashion rests at the convertible pants/shorts combination. I’m not down with the look. And I confess, I felt a little bit dorky while wearing a pair of Ex Officio super light weight travel Nomad Roll-up Pants during a recent journey. At least they’re not the kind with the zip off legs, right?

The pair I wore is also sort of convertible; they roll up and have keeper straps for those beach-combing days or when you wish you’d worn shorts. The fabric is super light and soft — they roll up to a tiny size and take up very limited luggage space. That soft fabric is also somewhat water resistant, if the weather goes bad on you you’ll stay a little drier, a little longer. There are deep side pockets and additional zip pockets on the side, but they lie flat, they’re not lumpy like your typical cargo pants. The waist band is lined so there are no itchy bits against your skin, and there’s a wide tabbed closure at the waist. Unlike a lot of outdoor attire, Ex Officio seems to run true to size and I’d venture that they’re cut just a little bit generous, but not excessively so.Since I don’t do the full convertible thing, I got a pair of Ex Officio shorts too. They have they same deep pockets at the waist and zippered pockets on the legs, but they’ve also got that funny little pocket for your bus money or lip balm and an additional one, maybe for your cell phone? The waist has the same lining as the pants, but the shorts have a button closure, and there’s a webbing belt that’s sewn into place — it’s full adjustable but you can’t lose it.

Both of these items beg to be paired with a safari vest and perhaps some giant binoculars as an accessory, and then, to be promptly rushed on a birding expedition. I can’t help it, there’s something about the khaki tones and extremely practical design that makes me vaguely snarky. (Okay, perhaps not so vague.) That’s not to say I didn’t immediately put this gear into rotation as part of my “go do something outdoorsy” travel kit. With long underwear, those pants could tackle a broad range of conditions and shorts, well, hiking shorts are hiking shorts.

And really, you should pack both. You don’t need the zip off legs really, do you?

The Nomad pants are $65.00, the Nio Amphi shorts are normally 60.00 but they’re on sale right now (June, 2011) for about half price. Ex Officio makes non-convertible pants for guys, too, check them out on the Ex Officio website. And get outside.

SkyMall Monday: Jeans Lounge Pants

I’ve never understood people who relax in their homes while wearing jeans. First of all, denim is not all that comfortable. Second, most people don’t wash their jeans frequently, meaning that they’re wearing filthy clothes on their couches and beds. And third, in the summer, jeans just aren’t breathable and it’s expensive to run your air conditioner all the time. That’s why I strip down to my skivvies when I walk into SkyMall Monday headquarters. I like to air out while I’m in my personal space. That, of course, makes conducting meetings quite awkward. We need to maintain an aura of edginess and danger around here. Thankfully, SkyMall has a way to let us look casual while being comfortable and maintaining our innate hipness all the while. No one does cool quite like SkyMall, so you know that you’re going to look good when you slip on a pair of Jeans Lounge Pants.Of course, you have a choice of soft-textured pants that are made to look like jeans. We understand that you can go the Pajama Jeans route. Heck, after watching the commercial, who among us hasn’t placed an order for a dozen or so? But, Pajama Jeans look so pristine and formal. What if you like to keep things more “downtown chic? Ripped jeans let people know that you’re edgy and playful rather than stuffy and dull.

Think that jeans should be jeans and not secret pajamas? Believe that you could just buy a pair of comfortable pants made of something other than denim? Well, while you get lost in your walk-in closet, we’ll be reading the product description:

These lounge pants look like a ripped-up, much-beloved pair of denim jeans–but they’re actually super-soft cotton with amazingly realistic front-and-back printing and a much more forgiving stretch.

Sure, you own sweatpants, yoga pants, gym shorts, pajama pants, leggings and several other articles of clothing with a forgiving stretch for when you pillage a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but those pants don’t make you look like you live in Seattle circa 1994.

You deserve to be comfortable while you look dangerous. You deserve Jeans Lounge Pants.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Wearing pants in France? You’re breaking the law, ladies.

Several months ago, French prez Nicholas Sarkozy knocked around the idea of banning the burka. Today The Telegraph points out another item to add to the ever-increasing list of dumb laws: in France it is still against the law for women to wear pants. The law reportedly has been on the books since 1800 and has survived multiple attempts to repeal it, although its application has been narrowed somewhat.

In 1892, an exception was made to the law that allowed women to wear pants “as long as the woman is holding the reins of a horse.” (Sounds like something Borat might propose.) A 1909 modification to the law allowed women on bicycles to wear pants.

Though the law has obviously not been enforced in many years, the French government has little interest in overturning it. A 2003 request to repeal the law was denied by a government official who said, “Disuse is sometimes more efficient than (state) intervention in adapting the law to changing mores.”

More here.

SkyMall Monday: Waistband Stretcher

Here at the SkyMall Monday world headquarters, we eat a lot. Moderation is a four-letter word, as far as I’m concerned. How can anyone expect me to eat responsibly with all these zig-zagging brownies and giant cupcakes laying around? So, as you can imagine, I’m not exactly in bikini shape this summer. Which is fine, since I’m a dude, but it also means that I’m not in old-timey bathing suit shape either. Sadly, I’ll have to avoid the beach and stay fully clothed this summer. But what if my clothes don’t fit anymore? I mean, I’ve eaten a lot of those giant cupcakes. I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe. You may be surprised to learn that writing SkyMall Monday is not exactly the most lucrative endeavor. Basically, I get paid with SkyMall gift cards which I use to purchase more giant cupcake pans. So, how can I make my clothes fit without changing my lifestyle and becoming healthy? Well, I could always force my pants to fit with the Waistband Stretcher!

Now, instead of dieting, exercising, sleeping well and abstaining for alcohol, I can just stretch my pants out until they fit around my robust, girthy torso. I can continue to shovel heaping amounts of homemade donuts into my gullet comforted by the knowledge that my pants are always a quick stretch away from allowing blood flow to my lower extremities. My genitalia have never been more excited!

Don’t believe my excited genitalia? Fine, don’t take their word for it. But you have to trust the product description:

When your waistband feels too snug, reach for the Waistband Stretcher. You don’t have to get rid of your favorite jeans, skirts or slacks thanks to this simple waist-band stretching device that lets you add from 1-5 inches (depending on size of garment) to the waist of cotton pants, skirts, and shorts. Just moisten the garment’s waistband, insert the waistband stretcher, extend the garment to the desired size and let dry – voila, a more comfortable fit!

Of course, once the cupcakes and donuts induce the heart attack that I have scheduled for July, I’m certain to lose a few pounds in the hospital. Comas will do that. I’m sure that there’s a reverse setting on the Waistband Stretcher and I’ll get those 1-5 inches back in no time. Voila, waistband shrunk! No? You can’t unstretch a waistband? Well, back to my diet of choice then.

Travel Fail

If you’re as bored at work as I am, you’ve already discovered the joys of Fail Blog. This little gem popped up a few days ago. I knew that the TSA was strict about what items make their way onto planes, but when did we crack down on pants? What did pants ever do to anyone? Pants are one of the five most docile articles of clothing you can pack. I blame the proliferation of cargo pockets. Of course people are going to be fearful of your pants when they contain any number of secret compartments hiding mysterious items like wallets, passports and hard candies.

So next time you’re heading to the airport, leave your pants at home. The TSA is sure to appreciate how easy it is to search you while you’re in tightie whities and your baggage won’t be flagged. And don’t get cocky by trying to smuggle gas in your pants. As you can see above, that would be a double-whammy.