Galley Gossip: Passenger gets caught with pants down

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

Is it standard procedure for a flight attendant to force open a toilet occupied by a passenger if the plane is about to land? Under what circumstances has the flight attendant a right to do this?

Thanks,

Caught with My Pants Down

Dear Caught with My Pants Down,

I’m so sorry to hear you were caught with your pants down. I’m also sorry that a flight attendant had to see you that way. I’m sure it was embarrassing for both of you. On my flight from New York to Dallas last week I caught two passengers in the same position, but that’s just because they forgot to lock the door, not because I forced the thing open. So please, people, I beg you, do not forget to switch that little sign from vacant to occupied. That way we won’t have to avoid eye contact for the rest of the flight.

As for forcing a locked door open, it does not happen often. In fact I’ve only had to do it twice in my career and I’ve been flying for fourteen years. Once, not too long ago, I did it when I heard a young child yelling, “help, help, help!” because she couldn’t figure out how to unlock the lavatory door and another time when, seconds before departure, the passenger who had locked himself inside ignored our pleas to return to his seat.

“Sir, you need to come out! We can not depart until you take your seat!” my coworker cried, banging her fists on the accordion door. No answer. Just silence. Complete silence.

I gave it a try – knock, knock, knock! “Sir, are you okay in there?” Still no response.

“We’re coming in,” my coworker yelled, and two seconds later the door was pushed open. Startled, the man with the needle stuck in his arm jumped, causing it to pop out and blood to spurt all over the floor. The airplane was immediately taken out of service.

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Because your question is lacking in details, I can not answer as thoroughly as I’d like to. What I want to know is just how close to landing were you? Was it an International flight? Which airport were you flying into? Just how long did you stay in the bathroom? Were you unable to use it prior to landing? Or had you used it so often throughout the flight you may have raised a few eyebrows? Did you take anything into the bathroom with you, say a paper bag or something that might look suspicious? Were you sick? Did you answer the flight attendant when he or she knocked on the door and asked you to return to your seat? During the flight had you been rude or caused a problem in flight? Had the flight attendants already done their final compliance check and were ready to strap themselves into their jump seats while you were in the toilet? Your answers do make a difference.

While yes, you should have been in your seat, as per FAA regulations, regardless of what was going on during your flight, the flight attendants may not have pried the door open so quickly. They may have given you a few more seconds to pull your pants back up.

You did mention that the airplane was about to land, which leads me to believe the seat belt sign was on. Flight attendants are required to advise passengers to keep their seat belts fastened at all times, even when the seat belt sign is not on, and customers must comply with seat belt regulations at all times. Recently Scott Carmichael wrote about a passenger who was paralyzed from the neck down when she used the toilet on a Continental flight and the airplane hit turbulence. It happens. And it can happen even when the seat belt sign is not on. On the Continental flight the sudden drop threw the woman against the ceiling, fracturing her neck. For the record, the seat belt sign had been illuminated.

On descent flight attendants must be strapped into their jumpseats. With you locked in the bathroom you are not only a danger to them (if you were to fall on top of them), but to the passengers you must pass in order to get back to your seat, and the passenger who now must unbuckle their seat belt and stand up to let you back into your row. If something were to happen to you, or anyone seated around you, the flight attendants would not be able to help. The flight attendants job, at this stage in flight, is to man the emergency doors. Not take care of you.

No one wants to be caught with their pants down, I know that, and I am sorry that it had to happen to you. But flight attendants have a job to do and when the seat belt sign is on you should be in your seat with your belt fastened about you. Not in the lav. Especially on descent or when there’s turbulence!

To read more about turbulence in flight and why it’s important to keep your seat belt fastened at all times, check out my Galley Gossip post A question about turbulence and being scared at work.

Hope your next flight is a better one.

Heather Poole

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If you have a question email me at Skydoll123@yahoo.com

Photo courtesy of (lavatory) Daquella Manera, (Continental Airlines) Phinalanji

Pilot nightmare: Passenger flings open door and jumps out

by Jamie Rhein on

Here is a scene that I think would take one of the top spots of a pilot’s worst nightmare.

Right when you’re flying 23,000 above one of the coldest places above Canada this time of year, one of your two passengers, the one who has been freaking out, totally loses his marbles, flings open the door and jumps out.

That’s what happened a couple days ago to two pilots who were taking two passengers from Yellowknife to Cambridge Bay in a Beechcraft King Air 200 twin-turboprop.

The one passenger became “unruly” and couldn’t be stopped from forcing open the door and jumping out. That was a horrifying scene, I’m sure.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, to make things more dicey, there was that open door that wouldn’t cooperate and close again. That meant that the pilot had to make an emergency landing with the door open.

Talk about a wind tunnel. Heavens!

The 20 year-old who jumped is still being searched for and the pilot is too shaken up to talk. Understandably so. [via AP in Newsday.com]

Galley Gossip: The passenger didn’t ask for much

by Heather Poole on

It happened right after the woman wearing black yelled at me because she had to wait in line to use the lavatory in coach, and that happened shortly after I noticed she, the woman wearing nothing but black, was eyeing the bathroom in business class, which is officially designated as the business class bathroom, which explains why there were three business class passengers stretching in line as they patiently waited their turn.

I pointed to the rear of the aircraft. “There are two other bathrooms in the back and I only see one person waiting in line.”

The woman in black looked at me as if I had two heads and snapped, “I fly international all the time and we always travel in business class.” I smiled and did not point out the obvious, that today she sat in coach. She glared at me and added, “I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my life!” Then she went on to use the phrase cattle car three or four times in three or four different sentences, giving me a piece of her mind. All this because she didn’t want to wait in line to use the bathroom like everyone else. Thankfully we only had thirty minutes left in flight.

“Is there anything I can do to make this flight better for you?” I asked. It’s true, I really did ask that. Of course she had no suggestions – none, zero, zilch. But she did call me honey and used the word cattle car one more time before stomping off to the back.

This is when it happened. This is when I took a deep breath, turned, and the young woman who had complained about feeling sick before we even took off out of Los Angeles, the one I had tried to talk into not flying because she felt sick, the same one who may or may not have thrown up in the bathroom (depending on who you asked), which in turn may or may not have been the reason why the sink was now overflowing with what may or may not have been water, brown water, and why the bathroom had been locked off, looked at me angrily and said, “I haven’t asked for much on this flight!”

Oh really?

This passenger had asked for more than any other passenger in my fourteen years of flying! But I did not tell her that. Instead I kept my mouth shut and got down on one knee, like I had several times before on the flight, looked her in the red eyes, and listened as she not so very nicely added, “And I’ve been pretty nice on this flight, considering the circumstances…”

The circumstances? I just nodded and waited for what I knew would be an insane request, because all she had done the entire flight was make odd requests. Oh she did not disappoint when she demanded to be the first one off the airplane when we landed.

That was not going to happen. She sat in coach. There were at least 40 passengers ahead of her in first class and business class combined.

“The only way you’re going to get off this airplane before anyone else does is if we call the paramedics to meet the flight,” I told her very sternly. “Do you want me to tell the Captain you’re sick so he can radio the ground?” It was not the first time I had asked, nor was it the first time she had declined.

How it all went down…

During boarding – There I stood between business class and coach greeting passengers and hanging coats when she who looked to be in her early twenties pulled me aside and told me she felt ill, that she’d been sick all day, that she had a fever, and then she looked me earnestly in the eye and asked, “Is there a first class seat available?”

Immediately the bells began to ring in my head – alert, alert – scammer, drama queen! I told her no, because there were no seats available. And even if there had been an open seat she still would not have sat there, considering she paid for coach, not first. Then I suggested she deplane, talk to the agent, and take another flight when she felt better. I didn’t want our passengers to get sick and I definitely didn’t want to bring whatever she may or may not have had back home to my two year-old son. Of course she waved me away and told me she’d be fine.

During the beverage service – Because her seat was beside the business class galley and because I happened to be working in business class that day, she rang her call light and looked directly at me. I held a linen lined tray in one hand, four drinks balancing on top – diet coke, water, ginger ale, and Chardonnay, when she said, “I don’t feel very good. Can I have a cup of tea. But not in a Styrofoam cup. Can I get it in a mug, a real mug.”

I forced a smile and nodded.

“Oh do you have herbal tea?”

During the meal service – As my partner and I picked up thirty meal trays and shoved them into a dirty cart, I heard her say it once again, that she was ill, which was quickly followed by, “Can I get something to eat?”

“Of course.” I told her the buy-on-board food options in coach, but she just shook her head and said, “I can’t eat that. I have a special diet. Do you have any cooked vegetables?”

“Cooked vegetables,” I repeated, wondering why she didn’t bring her own cooked vegetables on board with her since she had such a special diet. Please note that I normally never – ever – offer business class food to coach passengers, but she did look a little pale and I did not want to divert. “All we have left in business class are rolls and cheese and crackers.”

Turns out she couldn’t eat rolls. She couldn’t eat cheese. She couldn’t eat crackers. She couldn’t eat salad. She couldn’t eat nuts. She couldn’t even eat chocolate – chocolate! Nor could she eat the delicious homemade combination fried rice the passenger sitting directly in front her had kindly offered. (So I did. It was amazing. Thank you Mr. Exit Row Passenger!) The only thing she could eat were cooked veggies, so I went up to first class to see what was left over after the service and not only did I find uncooked peas from the salad cart, the lead flight attendant actually allowed me to take the first class peas to a coach passenger.

I handed the young woman a silver spoon and a silver bowl of peas. No thank you. No nothing. She took two bites, made a face, and handed it back to me.

During the dessert service – We were just about to pull the carts to the front of business class and start the dessert service when she rang the call light. I didn’t have to walk far to turn the light off. The unfortunate passenger sitting beside her rolled his eyes as she said, “I’m violently ill and I need your help to get to the bathroom.”

“Okay.” The bathroom was four steps away from her seat. “Give me a second.”

In the galley I told my colleagues the dessert service was now on hold so I could assist a sick passenger to the lavatory. But when I went to help her stand, grabbing her elbow to help her up, she got to her feet and walked to the bathroom like there was nothing wrong. I handed her a barf bag, shut the door, told her I’d return to check on her later, and then went back to my dessert cart.

After the service – “I’m not going to make it,” I barely heard her mumble as I passed her seat on my way to the galley in coach.

Quickly I spun around. “What do you mean you’re not going to make it? Do I need to page for a doctor?”

“No no no, I just need…potatoes. Do you have any potatoes?” she asked, and when she asked this it sounded as if it took all her energy just to get the words out.

I took a deep breath and sighed. “We do not have potatoes on board our flight today. Just potato chips. Which you said you can’t eat. Are you sure you don’t want club soda or a roll because that will make you feel better.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Are you sure there aren’t any potatoes?”

It was during the potato request that the lady wearing black appeared. Remember her? The one who didn’t want to wait in line to use the lavatory? So when the one in black tartly called me honey and then stormed off to the back right before the sick one in need of potatoes said that she hadn’t asked for much, it took all my might not to remind her all that she had, in fact, asked for – a first class seat, a business class mug, cooked vegetables, help to the bathroom, potatoes, and to deplane first. That’s it. Nothing more.

Photos courtesy of (occupied) travelin librarian, (coach) carrib, (barf bag) ben howes – flicker.com

Galley Gossip: Hottest trend on the airplane since the mile high club

by Heather Poole on

Checking your watch for the umpteenth time, you sigh, because you’re on the airplane waiting in line to use the bathroom and you’ve been waiting in line for a very long time. What’s strange is you’re next to go and have been for some time now. What the heck is going on in there?

You probably don’t want to know. What you do know is the passenger who went in there ten minutes ago can’t be doing that, at least not with another person, because they went in there alone. Then again some people join the mile high club while others prefer the solo aviators division.

“Excuse me, Miss,” you say, and when you say this you’re looking at me, and because I see you standing in front of a lavatory door that is occupied, I already know what you’re going to say before you even say it and I’m really, really, wishing you didn’t have to involve me.

“Whoever’s in there has been in there a very long time,” you tell me.

I nod, trying my best to look concerned, and while I’m nodding I’m praying the person who has been in the lavatory for a very long time will finally walk out. Please walk out! When they don’t walk out, I say, “Sometimes it takes some people a little longer than others.” Because it does. I mean it took me two years to even use the thing. For real.

“Can you at least knock on the door to make sure they’re alright?”

I take a deep breath, wondering why you can’t knock on the door yourself, because we both know you don’t really care whether or not they’re alright in there and I’m not the one who needs to use the loo, but I go ahead and do it anyway – knock knock, knocking my knuckles against the hard, cold door, and that’s when I hear a powerful flush.

I smile and state the obvious, “They should be out in a second.”

Suddenly the door swings opens and the passenger walks out. As the passenger passes you by, you think to yourself, surely they weren’t doing that, because they just don’t look like the type to do that – at least not on an airplane. So you play it safe, holding your breath as you walk inside, locking the door behind you. Hoping for the best, you finally exhale, and strangely there is no odor. You can’t believe it. Grabbing a paper towel, you wonder just what that passenger was doing in the bathroom for all that time.

Well I think I know. I’ve even got the photos to prove it. While working on my last Galley Gossip post about trusting fear (on and off the airplane), I needed to find a photograph of the lavatory to go along with it, so I logged onto Flickr.com and typed the words LAVATORY AIRPLANE and BATHROOM AIRPLANE into the search bar. I could not believe what popped up. In fact, I’ve already told everyone I know all about what I found. I had to tell someone!

So let me be the first to tell you that something very strange and disturbing, yet quite intriguing, is going on behind that locked lavatory door. Passengers, and I’m talking all kinds of passengers, are photographing themselves in the bathroom. What I want to know is how long has this been going on? And why didn’t anyone ever tell me? You’d think I would have seen all those cameras going into the bathroom! Oh you better believe I’ll be taking my own self portrait in the lav on my next flight to New York on Wednesday. Until then, check out these interesting shots..

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Photo courtesy of Dpstyles

Galley Gossip: The Gift of Fear (on and off the airplane)

by Heather Poole on

Out of nowhere you feel it – fear. You’re not sure why you feel it, and because it doesn’t make sense, at least not yet, you choose to ignore it. Perhaps you just don’t want to be rude or look stupid in an effort to avoid whatever it is you can’t quite grasp that is scaring you. Well I’m here to tell you there could be a very good reason you’re afraid, and it doesn’t always have to make sense and it’s okay to look stupid or act rude, even if you are a woman. Better safe than sorry, I say.

Two years after I first started flying in 1995, the airline I work for sent out a newsletter with a little blurb about an interesting sounding book called The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. I bought the book and several years later it’s still one of my favorites. De Becker discusses what it means to be fearful and how that fear is truly a gift. If you trust it. Some people call it a sixth sense. Whatever it is; a shiver down your spine, hair standing up on the back of your neck, a lump at the bottom of your stomach, something has alerted your senses. You shouldn’t ignore it. That fear could very well save your life.

One of the first stories Gavin shares is about a pilot who enters a convenience store and then immediately walks right back out because his sixth sense told him to leave. The pilot had no idea the store was being robbed, but when De Becker asked the pilot why exactly he left, the pilot said he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. De Gavin pressed the pilot for more details, and soon the pilot realized what really triggered his reaction; a man wearing a winter coat in the middle of summer, customers all turning to stare at him when he walked through the door. All these clues came at the pilot so quickly, he couldn’t make sense of why he felt the way he felt, but he trusted his gut and got out there quickly.

So why did the cop who walked into the very same convenience store seconds later not feel the same way the pilot did? Because when the customers in the store spotted the cop, relief swept over them, replacing fear, which may have been why the cop did not pick up on what was going on quickly enough to prevent him from getting shot.

Remember Richard Reid, the shoe bomber? At flight attendant recurrent training we learned there was something about the man that made each flight attendant on his flight take note of him right away. For some reason those flight attendants got an uneasy feeling the minute he walked onto the airplane. But no one said a word to each other. At least not until the ordeal was over. If you feel a little uneasy about a certain situation, tell someone. If someone tells you they feel a little weird about a certain situation, listen. I know I do.

Fear on the airplane: A few years ago a passenger on one of my flights from New York to Los Angeles caught my eye. Constantly he kept getting up to use the bathroom, and once behind the locked lavatory door he stayed there for an unusually long amount of time. When I tried to address him as he passed me by to get to his seat, he ignored me – several times.

“There’s a passenger making me a little nervous,” I told a fellow coworker. We were just about to begin the first beverage service.

“The one wearing a black polo shirt and dark sunglasses sitting in a middle seat near the front of the cabin who keeps getting up to use the lavatory?” my coworker asked, nonchalantly rearranging the napkins, stir sticks, and sugar.

Two hundred passengers aboard our flight that day and my coworker knew exactly who I’d been talking about. Coincidence? Maybe. Then again, maybe not. Because right after the passenger wearing the polo shirt returned to his seat, another passenger came running, literally running, down the aisle to the back of the aircraft.

“I’m sitting next to this guy and I can’t explain it, but he’s scaring me!” a young woman cried, literally, she was crying.

I handed her a Kleenex, assuring her I knew exactly who she spoke of and that we, the crew, were not only watching him, but we had already informed the cockpit who had contacted the ground. As soon as the words were out of my mouth another passenger walked into the galley.

Flashing a crew ID, the off duty flight attendant pulled me aside so no one else could hear and whispered, “I just want to let you know that there’s this guy…”

This guy, the one wearing a polo shirt who sat a few rows away from her, had made her nervous. Funny enough, he never did do anything wrong. Yet we continued to keep an eye on him. When we landed in L.A. the aircraft was met by several serious looking men and women dressed in dark suits. An FBI agent pulled me aside and asked a few questions. I told him everything, even though there wasn’t much to tell. Eventually the passenger in question was let go. But how strange is it that the one and only passenger we all feared had been issued a passport two days prior, had purchased a one way ticket with cash, and had a connecting flight to Florida where he said he was going to school?

Coincidence? You decide.

On a layover: Once at a layover hotel in a city I no longer remember, I signed in and collected my room key from the front desk in the hotel lobby. Because all the other flight attendants had gone up to their rooms to make the most of our short, nine hour, layover, I stood all alone in my uniform waiting for the elevator. Finally the doors opened wide and I stepped inside. A well dressed man holding a garment bag stood leaning against the mirrored wall. I smiled, and when I went to push the button, I noticed there were no other floors illuminated. Just mine. Immediately I felt a little weary.

When the elevator stopped at my floor, I stepped out, rolling my Travelpro bag behind me. So did the man with the garment bag. I took a left and quickly walked down the hallway. So did the man with the garment bag. My heart began to race. Because I’d read De Gavin’s book, and because I trusted my fear, I passed my room, continuing on down the short hallway to the big red sign that read Exit. The man continued to follow me. Once I reached the fire escape, I circled around and quickly passed the man, heading back to the elevator and down to the lobby to report the incident. Of course I got a new room. Sure, the man with garment bag could have been an innocent guy, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

Neither should you.

If you haven’t read The Gift of Fear, you really should. It’s an amazing book and I’ve recommended it to more passengers and flight attendants, particularly women, than any other book. What you read may one day save your life.