Airline Madness: Legroom vs. Inefficient boarding procedures

by Mike Barish on

Airline Madness is Gadling’s tournament of airline annoyances. You can catch up on all of the previous tournament action here.

The first round of Airline Madness continues with #2 seed Legroom taking on #15 seed Inefficient boarding procedures. As most of us are usually flying in the economy cabin, we know just how cramped those seats are. If you’re 5 feet 9 inches or taller (the average American adult male is about just below 5 feet 10 inches tall), your knees are probably going to touch the seat in front of you. Meanwhile, before you even get on the plane, you need to wait for your seemingly arbitrary zone to be called and then stand in a line of people eager to board a metal tube full of recycled air.

Only one of these pet peeves will advance to the second round. Check out their full descriptions below and then vote for the one that’s the most infuriating.#2 Legroom
The average seat pitch in economy class is between 29 inches and 30 inches. That doesn’t allow for much legroom, no matter how much thinner they make the seat-backs. You don’t need to be freakishly tall to feel cramped once you fold yourself into your seat. Want more legroom? Well, now the airlines make you pay for exit row seats or “Premium Economy,” which is nothing more than an economy seat with the legroom that was offered to everyone a decade ago. These days, you might have more personal space in a dog crate in the luggage compartment.

#15 Inefficient boarding procedures
The gate agent has announced pre-boarding (which is a misnomer, because once anyone is boarding the plane, it’s just called boarding) and yet everyone with a ticket for the flight seems to have surged toward the counter. You’re seated one row away from your friend yet are separated by three boarding groups. The crowd of people near the gate resembles a Soviet-era bread line, only less organized and far more aggressive. When your group is called, you can’t get anywhere near the plane because of the wall of people in your way. Oh, and the flight is scheduled to takeoff in two minutes. Surely it will be on time.

Which airline pet peeve grinds your gears the most? Do you demand more legroom or have you had it with the chaos of boarding? Vote for the annoyance that most deserves to advance to the second round and share your thoughts in the comments!
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First round voting ends at 11:59PM EDT on Friday, March 16.

More Airline Madness:
#1 Annoying passengers vs. #16 Disgusting bathrooms
#3 Lack of free food/prices for food vs. #14 Cold cabin/no blankets
#4 Baggage Fees vs. #13 Obese people who take up two seats
#5 Lack of overhead space vs. Inattentive parents of crying babies
#6 Change fees/no free standby vs. #11 Lack of personal entertainment/charging for entertainment
#7 Rude airline staff vs. #10 Having to turn off electronic devices during takeoff & landing
#8 People who recline their seats vs. #9 People who get mad at people who recline their seats
Hotel Madness: Gadling’s tournament of airline annoyances

Catch up on all the Airline Madness here.

In the unlikely event of College Humor’s parody on air travel…..

by Jessica Festa on



Anyone who has even been on an airplane has seen the flight attendants mimic a range of unlikely events, like what to do if you need to use your seat as a floatation device or if the cabin loses oxygen. Apparently, however, they have been leaving a lot of information out of the safety tutorial. What do the passengers do if the plane crash lands in the mountains and everyone begins eating each other? Or if a bolt of lighting hits and sends the plane through a space time continuum and back to a time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth? Luckily, CollegeHumor has put together this very informational (or at least, entertaining), safety video.

There is a bit of questionable religious humor at the very end of the video, however, the beginning and middle of the clip are hysterical and will definitely get you wondering what you would do “in the unlikely event of…”.

Top 5 ways to annoy your airplane seatmate

by Mike Barish on

Over on Reddit earlier this month, there was a fascinating and hysterical story written by someone who was on an airplane with two seemingly horrible passengers. In fact, he ended up seated directly in between them [Note: The photo to the right is not the author of the Reddit post]. It seems that a mother (on crutches, mind you) boarded the plane with her young son. Rather than move their seats so that the mother and child could sit together, these two women argued that they have “flying issues” and needed to remain in their assigned seats. It turns out that they are sisters and, according to the Reddit user, are quite curmudgeonly. In fact, when he tried to assist with the situation, he was tersely told to mind his own business. After takeoff, the Reddit user and the woman seated next to him traded their seats with the mother and child. Now, however, our intrepid storyteller is smack dab in the middle of the two women who started this whole kerfuffle. Which leads us to his query: “What can i do to make their flight as akward as possible” [sic] We feel compelled to chime in. What exactly are the five best ways to annoy your airplane seatmate?5. Total armrest domination
It actually appears as if the Reddit user has already employed this classic maneuver. We’ve covered middle seat etiquette before and don’t believe that he’s doing anything wrong by controlling both armrests. It’s his birthright. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying to the ladies on either side of him.

4. The art of conversation
It’s time to get chatty. Discuss the weather. Talk about the reason for your trip. Ask your neighbors if they think the rash on your lower back looks abnormal. Whatever you do, keep talking. Are they ignoring you by working on their computers or reading newspapers? Don’t let that stop you. Keep chatting away, even if no one is listening.

3. Something smells fishy
Who doesn’t like tuna fish sandwiches? Everyone seated around you on the plane, that’s who. If you really want to bother your seatmates, eat something offensive. With fewer airlines offering free meals, you will need to plan ahead and pack that anchovy and bleu cheese sandwich yourself.

2. Bathroom breaks
Ask the flight attendant for extra water. After all, you need to stay hydrated on planes. Sadly, though, you can never really own water. You just kind of rent it. Asking to use the bathroom once on a flight is expected. Getting up twice isn’t too far-fetched. After your sixth trip to the head, however, you’re seatmate will be ready to stand up and scream. Which is helpful, since you’ll be able to get into the aisle again for your seventh bathroom run.

1. Airsick
There may be nothing worse than traveling next to a sick passenger. Feel free to get creative in how you portray your illness. You can go with the common cold and simply sneeze every 1-3 minutes. The sore throat is a classic and allows you to go with the excruciatingly annoying consistent throat clearing maneuver. To get the most bang for your buck, however, you’ll want to go full vomit. Work up to it, though. Start by talking about how you feel nauseous. No one likes hearing about a stranger’s stomach issues. Go to the bathroom with an excessive sense of urgency. Place your hand over your mouth, on your stomach, or on your buttocks. Covertly fake some gurgling noises. Now, depending on how committed you are to this, you can go all in. Vomit into the airsickness bag (either for real or sneakily dump some airport Sbarro’s lasagna in there). Do not miss the bag. Remember that you’re trying to annoy the passengers, not create extra work for the flight crew.

What did we miss? Surely there are more ways to annoy your seatmates. Let us know in the comments. We sure hope that the Reddit user came up with something good. Oh, and the next time you have the chance to help a passenger by switching seats or assisting them with a bag, just do it. It makes the world – or at least your flight – a better place.

[via @legalnomads]

Photo by Flickr user BJ Carter.

Review: The Snazzy Napper

by Mike Barish on

By now, there’s a fairly good chance that you’ve seen the commercial for the Snazzy Napper eye mask and blanket. Maybe you watched CNN mock it or read how some other travel site panned it with vitriol normally reserved for despots and baby-killers (deep breaths, guys). What you probably haven’t come across, though, is an honest-to-goodness review from someone who has, oh, I don’t know, tried the product. Thankfully, we decided to remedy that.

I got my hands on the Snazzy Napper to see if it’s really worth your money. Should you pack the Snazzy Napper on your next long flight? Will it actually help you sleep? Is it really so ridiculous? Watch the video to find out.

Solar plane lands after two-week flight

by Sean McLachlan on


A week ago we reported on the Zephyr solar airplane flying nonstop for a week. Yesterday it landed safely after flying nonstop for two weeks, achieving the goal its designers set for it.

The unmanned drone runs on efficient solar cells along its wingspan that charge batteries to keep it running through the night. Sunny skies over Arizona helped boost its power. Engineers hope that it will be the first “eternal plane”, never having to land. Qinetiq, the UK defense firm that designed it and flew it over a US military base, said there was no need for it to land yesterday but that it had proven its worth and is now ready for production.

The US military is interested in using it for military purposes, but Qinetiq is also pointing up the plane’s scientific and commercial possibilities.

The previous endurance record for an unmanned drone was 30 hours, 24 minutes. A manned solar plane, the Solar Impulse, recently flew through the night on a 24-hour flight.

Photo courtesy Qinetiq.