SkyMall Monday loves cars. Sure. the SkyMall Monday headquarters is my studio apartment in New York City and I don’t own a car because I take subways everywhere, but still, cars are neat. Don’t you wish that everything you owned was designed like a car? Cars are just so perfect and amazing and cool. They’re so much more amazing than our boring household items. Thankfully, the good folks at SkyMall understand that we’re sick and tired of our boring and mundane lives. That’s why they feature not one, not two, but three thrilling household products that look like automobile gear shifts! And this week, we’re going to ruminate on all of them.
6-speed Toilet Plunger (pictured above) – Clog the toilet again with one of your Cadillac-sized poops? You could grab your classic plunger but, yawn, what’s the fun in that? If you’re going to go toe-to-toe with a pipe-demolishing clump of feces, you’re going to need six gears of elbow grease. So, confidently continue eating all the Taco Bell that you can shovel into your gullet with the knowledge that your toilet plunger can handle everything that you throw at it.*
Need more proof? The product description is much more convincing than I could ever hope to be:
Well, you need a plunger anyhow, so why not get this one that has a machined aluminum shaft and shifter knob (engraved with a 6-speed shifter pattern). Heck, stick the rubber bellows to the floor and you can practice your speed shifting while you’re doing–well, you know.
I mean, yeah, you need a plunger anyway, so, you know, get the $36 novelty version. And then just stick it to your floor and practice your “speed shifting” while spreading E. coli all over your home.
Gear Shift Coat Rack – Let’s dive right into the product description on this one, shall we?
It has five hooks to let you hang coats, hats, shirts, polishing cloths, etc. within easy reach-each hook is shaped like a classic manual gear shifter.
Oh, so that’s what you can hang on hooks. Coats, hats and shirts! And you’ll finally have a place to hang your polishing clothes. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it,well, probably just once. And this is going to be that one time. Here it comes. Please hang your polishing cloths on the Gear Shift Coat Rack!
Gearshift Wine Bottle Stopper – You’ve just completed hosting another successful cocktail party. You’ve cleared your toilet with the 6-speed Toilet Plunger. Your guests have collected their coats and polishing cloths from the Gear Shift Coat Rack. Now you need to put away that open bottle of Merlot. But you don’t want it to go bad. You need to seal it up with the Gearshift Wine Bottle Stopper. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the product description:
The ideal gift for the wine-loving car buff!
Now, I would have thought that this was the ideal gift for the wine-loving car buff, but I don’t write for SkyMall, so what do I know?
And there you have it. Three delightful gearshift-themed products and two ways to spell gear shift. SkyMall doesn’t care if it’s one or two words so long as it’s the design focus of as many products as possible.
So, shift your credit card into high gear and enjoy life in the fast lane. See what I did there?
* Don’t throw feces. That’s just gross.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.