SkyMall Monday: Travel Bidet

by Mike Barish on

Everyone experiences lulls at their job. Work is not always as rewarding as we want it to be. But, from time to time, something happens that reinvigorates us. Something that energizes and excites us about what we do for a living and makes us proud again. I’m experiencing such a resurgence this week. Why? Well, this week’s SkyMall Monday may be the most important ever. Because this week we’re featuring a product that every single person needs to own. A product that may very well solve all of our problems. A product that will cleanse us from the inside out. Yes, my friends, SkyMall once again will purify us and allow us to tackle any obstacle that life puts in our way. I love my job again, people, because I get to share this fantastic information with you. Information that will hit us with a blast of cool, refreshing and disinfecting energy. So, take a seat. Or, even better, squat. Because this week we’re taking a long hard look at the Sanicare Travel Bidet.
We all know how to wipe our own asses (at least I hope so because I shake a lot of hands everyday). But are we really getting clean? I mean, the French clean up using bidets and who are more well known for their hygiene than the French? But a large porcelain plumbing fixture is too cumbersome to take with you. So, how can you inject some water into your filthy backdoor when you’re out and about? Well, just take a look at that picture up there and I think you’ll realize that all of our problems have been solved.

Once again I will rely solely on the product description. The clever plays on words, quotation mark usage and wealth of information will surely convince you that you need this product:

Enjoy the confidence of the fresh and clean feeling of a cleansing bidet wherever you “go”.

See what they did there? Yeah, I’m talking about putting the period outside of the quotation marks. Idiots.

Your Travel Bidet is ready to go, just open the box and install the included AA battery, then when you are ready to use it… “just add water”.

Do I really add water or are the quotation marks insinuating some sort of innuendo?

Traveling means a lot of compromising and unexpected changes from our daily routine. Changes in eating habits, fluid intake, schedules and personal hygiene all affect our comfort level, which can affect our performance and self-confidence in important business and social functions.

And perhaps no change is more unexpected than your new habit of keeping a travel bidet in your briefcase.

Finally, we can all have damp asses and awkward conversations with airport security. It’s about time we as a people cleaned up our acts. And now we can with dignity and pride.

So, if you want to love your job as much as I love mine, start taking a travel bidet with you to work everyday. It may just be the second best injection of liquid into your person you experience all day.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Theatre in Branson, Missouri has “America’s Best Restroom”

by Katie Hammel on

Worst airports. Best hotels. Rating these things, I understand. But bathrooms? Yes, the Cintas Corporation recently sponsored an online vote for the best bathroom in America.

Apparently, it’s no longer good enough to offer a clean toilet (truly a luxury in some places, believe me), running water, towels and maybe a mirror for good measure. Nope, to compete in the race for best bathroom, you’ll need features like gilded chandeliers, marble fireplaces and 1,800 square feet of space. At least, that’s what the winning bathroom at the Shoji Tabuchi Theatre in Branson, Missouri offers….along with a hand-carved mahogany pool table.

I’m a get-in, get-out quickly kind of girl so I just don’t see the need for such luxurious facilities. But perhaps there really are some people who enjoy hanging out and playing a game of pool while waiting for the loo.

[via USA Today]

Have2P – an iPhone app for the well hydrated

by Annie Scott on

“Sometimes when nature calls, you may not be in the most convenient place to answer.”

So sayeth the tagline for the iPhone application Have2P. The application can also be used on an iPod Touch with WiFi.

So, how does it work?

It automatically detects your location and then provides a list of places with public (and sometimes semi-public, like restaurants) restrooms nearby. It even includes ratings and notes from previous Have2P’ers such as “dirty” or “bring change for the attendant.”

Best of all, you can avoid businesses that are flagged as “for patrons only” to avoid being turned away from respite. This application is great for tourists, but even in your own town … if you’re a coffee drinker … yeah.

Go get it at Have2P.com.

Babykeeper Basic hangs your baby close while you pee

by Mike Barish on

I thought writing product reviews couldn’t get any better than Skymall Monday. But then a product comes along that is so patently amazing that it takes my breath away. I stare at my computer screen, mouth agape, and wonder how I ever lived before experiencing such wonderment. I can only imagine that this is how one would feel upon encountering a unicorn in a meadow filled with daisies and trees that fruit lollipops. Ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to introduce you to The Babykeeper Basic.

Traveling with kids is hard. Or at least that’s what people tell me. I’m single and childless (as far as I know), so I just throw some underpants and toothpaste into a bag and off I go to my next exotic destination. But I imagine that when you travel with kids, you can get a tad flustered. You have your luggage, the kids’ luggage, diaper bags, purses, stuffed animals and other nonsense to carry. That’s a lot to handle. And, at some point, you’re going to have to use the bathroom.

Well, you can’t just ask some stranger, or worse, your spouse, to hold your child while you urinate (or defecate, your choice). That’s where The Babykeeper Basic comes in. Simply select the lavatory of your choosing, place the hooks over the stall divider and overcome the stage fright that you will inevitably encounter as your child stares at you judgmentally while you try to relax and let the river flow. Nope, nothing to see here. Just a baby hanging precariously from the wall of a bathroom stall while you empty your bladder and/or bowels.

Look, I’m not saying that you should just put your kid on the bathroom floor while you do your business. That’s foolish. Your child could then easily abscond with your luggage while your pants are at your ankles. What I am saying is that hanging your child from the bathroom stall in some medieval harness might not win you Parent of the Year at your church’s next family fun day.

For our readers in Japan, I have great news. You can save $25 and just use the amazing public restrooms in your forward-thinking country. They have the baby seat built right in.

[Via Buzzfeed]

Men Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work

by Iva Skoch on

I know a lot of men, who never touch a public bathroom door handle with bare hands because they claim that other men never wash their hands. In fact, some men’s bathrooms have a pile of tissues next to the door because some men prefer to grab a tissue/hand towel and use it to open the door.

Looks like germ-o-phobes have another reason to keep doing so. A new study found that a rising number of American men do not wash their hands after using the bathroom–one third of all men comparing to 12 percent of women.

If the hygiene standard is so bad in America, I don’t even want to think about some other parts of the world. Here is to kicking the door open!