A nice roundup of some of the dumbest things the TSA did in 2008

by Scott Carmichael on

The TSA has made quite a name for itself when it comes to making stupid decisions. Whether it is forcing a mom to drink her own breast milk, or claiming a thin laptop could be a dangerous weapon, when the TSA screws up, they tend to screw up quite badly.

I’ve compiled some of the best TSA screwups we reported on here on Gadling in 2008.

Do not try and bring a gun through the checkpoint (unless you work for the TSA)

Can you imagine what would happen if you tried to sneak a gun past the security checkpoint? All hell would break loose, probably involving a complete terminal shutdown and a taser.

Unless of course you work for the TSA.

Back in April, Justin wrote about the TSA agent who smuggled a gun through the checkpoint. Instead of being fired, the agent was merely suspended for 30 days. Brilliant.

* * *

Mock bomb passes through the checkpoint – CNN was there to document it

What is worse than an incompetent checkpoint that misses a mock bomb strapped to a TSA agent? Having the incident filmed on CNN!

When CNN got up close and personal with TSA undercover agent “Jason”, they probably did not expect to document someone sneaking a fake bomb past the security staff.

* * *

1000’s of TSA uniforms and badges unaccounted for

October brought us the brilliant story of the TSA coming to the conclusion that they have lost track of thousands of uniforms and badges. Not just any old badge; these badges actually provide access to secure areas of the airport.

Apparently the TSA did not have a suitable system in place to check that retiring (or fired) agents were actually returning their stuff. So, while they are busy making sure you don’t bring dangerous bottled water on the plane, potential terrorists might be out there buying real TSA uniforms.

* * *


Is that an Apple branded bomb in your bag?

When Apple released their new ultra-thin laptop, I doubt anyone at the design department ever thought that the TSA might confuse the sleek lines of the Macbook Air with a bomb.

Apparently the TSA had not been keeping up with the latest technologies enough to understand that a thin computer does not always have to be an explosive device.

* * *

Breasts + nipple rings + pliers = TSA embarrassment

One of the more high profile stories involving the TSA this year, was an incident involving breasts and nipple rings.

While these 2 usually make for a steamy story that beings with “Dear Penthouse…”, this incident was quite embarrassing for the TSA.

When Mandi Hamlin passed through the checkpoint, she set off the handheld metal detector wand. Instead of just asking for a manual search by a female agent, the male TSA agents decided it would much more fun to give Mandi a pair of pliers and demand that she remove her nipple rings.

Once Gloria Allred go involved, the TSA announced it would change the way it screens passengers with body piercings.

* * *

Greed knows no boundaries with this TSA agent

In September, I reported on a TSA agent who was helping himself to goodies from our luggage. Not content with low priced items like MP3 players and digital cameras, this idiot thought it would be cool to snag himself a $47,000 HD video camera from HBO.

As with most thieves, this guy got caught when he became too greedy. The FBI purchased one of his items off Ebay, and apprehended him.

* * *


TSA behavior detection, detects not much more than that

In 2006, the TSA started a highly promoted “behavior detection program” which involved training their agents to detect terrorists based on nothing more than suspicious behavior.

In total, 160,000 people were flagged by this method, resulting in just 1,266 arrests. Aaron covered this waste of time and tax money in November including a priceless quote from a Carnegie Mellon professor who calls the program “a sham”.

* * *


Sprained ankle? Prove it!

It’s bad enough when the antics at your checkpoint are merely annoying, it’s another when the screeners actually cause bodily harm.

That is what happened to Lorna Dunlap at Pasco, WA airport and Jeffrey wrote about this insane incident back in October.

Poor Lorna has sprained her ankle, forcing her to travel with a leg brace. Apparently, the screener wanted more proof of this injury, so told her to remove her leg brace and stand on one leg.

The stupidity caused her to fracture her leg in 2 places, but I’m sure she’s relieved to hear that the TSA is “looking into it”.

* * *


Another breast related incident

The TSA really seems to have a problem with breasts. When you read what happened to Nancy Kates, you’d probably suspect that the TSA agents all received a memo warning about boobie bombs.

Nancy is a big-busted woman, but when her underwire set off the metal detector, it was the beginning of a 40 minute dispute that resulted in her having to explain to a TSA supervisor how the Constitution works.

In the end, the TSA was so kind as to let her simply remove her bra and go through the checkpoint again, but that didn’t stop her from making sure the entire world got to read her story.

Despite the TSA’s best intentions, what strange things have been found on planes?

2010 World Cup will not be moved from South Africa

by Josh Lew on

It could have ended quite badly for South Africa. The first African nation to host the FIFA World Cup almost didn’t get the chance. Earlier this year, FIFA prez Sepp Blatter, the most powerful man in soccer, told the media that his organization had an alternative plan should South Africa not be ready to host in 2010. He cited concerns about security, infrastructure, and construction projects as the reasons for having a plan B.

But yesterday Blatter opened his mouth again. This time he had good news for South Africa: “There definitely is no plan B or C. The only plan is to make the South African event a success.” The tournament will undoubtedly be a huge boost for South Africa’s tourism industry. Security concerns and lagging construction projects are still problematic, and there is still the risk that bad press during the event could kill any buzz the World Cup could bring to the country. But Blatter’s promise not to move the tournament is a huge step for S.A., which can now focus on hosting duties, not on kissing FIFA’s ass.

[Via AFP]

So how well do these digital boarding passes work?

by Grant Martin on

Digital boarding passes in this eco-friendly, high-tech world are the next new big thing among the big airlines. Continental, American and Northwest are rolling out service to airports all over the country, and if you haven’t got a kiosk at your local airport, there is probably one on the way.

In concept, the system is pretty simple. When you check in online, instead of printing off your boarding pass you’re given the option to receive it digitally onto your phone or PDA. In addition to saving paper, the big advantage is that those on the go without a printer can just flash the barcode (it’s actually a matrix code) at security and at the gate then not have to worry about the slip of paper.

In actuality, the system still needs some time to get going – or rather, the airport employees still need some time to adapt.

This past Friday on the way to New York‘s LaGuardia airport I was given the chance to try out a digital boarding pass on my iPhone. After the jump I’ll tell you how it went.In the two weeks that I had been away from Detroit, McNamara terminal incorporated the barcode system into their gate and security checkpoints. Forgetting that the system was in place when checking in for my regular New York bound flight that Friday, I was surprised to find that e-boarding was an option, so had to give it a try.

From my desktop terminal at work, getting the boarding pass was easy. I went through the normal online check in procedure and instead of clicking “Check in and print boarding pass” I selected the e-boarding pass option and hit continue. The software then asked me for my carrier (AT&T), device (iPhone) and mobile phone number, digested them and sent me a text (SMS) message containing an online link to the pass. Opening that page with Safari gave me a one-page boarding pass with the QR code and gate information which I took my merry way to the airport.

Walking up to the security checkpoint at McNamara terminal, I cheerfully greeted the TSA agent with my iPhone and driver’s license extended.

“Oh…. one of those,” she said. The agent reached in front of her to a device just smaller than a breadbox, flipped a switch on the back of it and a red light illuminated at the top. Gesturing to me, I flipped my phone face down on to the window and let it sit. Nothing happened. Gently I waved the phone back and forth.

“Stop that,” she scolded me, and asked me if my backlight was on. As she poked at the machine a bit I turned the phone back to me and zoomed in on the QR code. Then I flipped it back over to the red light and it immediately accepted it. The agent silently gave my ID back and ushered me into the security line, where after a brief wait I found myself pushing my belongings through the X-ray. But what to do with the boarding pass that I was supposed to show the metal-detector wielding agent?

I waved my phone at him as my belongings were swallowed by the monster.

“Put it anywhere, just don’t keep it on your body.”

“It’s got my boarding pass,” I muttered, probably too quietly.

“Put it anywhere, just don’t keep it on your body.”

Okay. I tossed it in the vanishing bin and walked through the X-ray.

“Boarding pass?”

I told him it was on my phone and shrugged. The agent visibly rolled his eyes and paused.

“I’ll…. just need to pat you down.” He felt the pockets of my sweater and my jeans, turned me around and patted my lower back. Then he sent me on my way, ushering for the next passenger to pass under the magnetic arch.

Since I was a little late for my flight, I reached the gate only twenty minutes before departure. By that time the boarding zone was nearly empty and the gate agent was attending to a few stragglers. Walking up to the gate I showed her my iPhone with the QR code still zoomed in. She didn’t bat an eye, gestured to another red light and I flipped my iPhone over the top of it. The machine blipped happily, like a child who has just eaten a grilled cheese sandwich, and passed into the jetbridge, one sheaf of paper saved.

In summary, the system is works fairly well and I can see it being fairly useful some day when I’m in a hurry on the way to the airport. The small drawbacks I can foresee, which largely have to do with phone battery life, can be planned around, and in the worst scenario you can always get a paper copy. Once the TSA and airline staff are all up to speed on procedure, I think that the technology will really gain traction.

US Airways Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry

by Mike Barish on

You can’t drive drunk. You can’t operate heavy machinery on NyQuil. And you can’t fly angry. At least according to US Airways. Consumerist picked up a story of a traveler who was hoping that US Airways would price match a ticket that he had purchased to the new, lower price. US Airways informed him that they couldn’t match the lower fare. When he expressed his true feelings about the airline’s inability to be polite corporate citizens, he was told that angry is the new al Qaeda.

Just check out this exchange from his conversation with customer service (CS):

CS: “Did you say you were going to be angry on the flight?”
James: “I totally did. If I know that the guy sitting next to me spent $150 less for his seats than me, you better believe I’m not going to be happy.”
CS: “Well, if you’re telling me you’re going to be angry I’m going to notify security.”

A representative from US Airways Executive Relations later reiterated that James had said that he was “going to be angry, and that’s one of the words we look out for.”

I’d love to know what other words get you added to the watch list. And is it just for security? If I say that I’m parched, do they warn the bartenders in the airport lounge? If I mention that I’m horny, are the flight attendants put on high alert (sorry Heather)?

So add vocabulary profiling to the list of airline security techniques. And the worst part? Now real terrorists know not to tell their customer service reps that they are angry. Beware of the happy man with a one-way ticket.

Who else got into trouble in the skies?


TSA to Create new Green “Family” Lane

by Grant Martin on

As holiday travel kicks into high gear, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has unveiled another tier to their security line scheme for getting passengers through checkpoints efficiently.

The basic system instilled earlier this year is currently called the “black diamond” self select system, which effectively attempts to separate passengers at the security checkpoint into groups. Those who know what they’re doing, or the experienced travelers move (quickly) through the black diamond line while the casual or inexperienced traveler will move (slower) through a separate blue square line.

Now there is a third group: The Green Circle line is designed for families traveling together and for those with medical liquids over 100mL. Theoretically, I suppose this would also be the slowest.

Note, if you have liquids still adhering to the 3-1-1 rule, you should still go through your regularly scheduled line.

In concept, black diamond self select system is a good idea, stratifying the hurried, experienced traveler away from the casual, relaxed passenger who takes his or her time at the checkpoint. But in practice, does it work? Say you’re a casual traveler, are late for your flight and show up to find that the black diamond line is 1/4 the length of the blue square line. You’re going to go to the short, line, right? Will things equalize out independent of line designation?

For the sake of less mayhem at the security checkpoint, I hope it works out. Stay tuned for some reports from the field.

10 tips for smarter flying


5 steps to smarter packing