SkyMall Monday: SkyMall Mobile

by Mike Barish on

For years, we’ve all enjoyed flipping through the SkyMall catalog on domestic flights. If you’re like us, you’ve always been frustrated that you had to wait until you landed to order your products. Sure, you could call in your order using the in-flight phone, but those calls are expensive and using the seatback phone pretty much lets everyone on the plane know that you’re a USDA certified douchebag. Now, however, more and more flights are equipped with wireless internet access. And that means that you can chat online, check emails and, yes, make your SkyMall dreams come true at 35,000 feet. Always on the forefront of innovation, SkyMall has made things even easier by introducing mobile apps for smartphones. Whether you’re a mile high, walking down the street or fingering a perp down at the precinct, you can browse the catalog, select your dream product and place your order all from your mobile device. It’s as if the best part of flying has packed its bag and moved into your pocket (which would explain that giant bulge you’re walking around with, champ).

Here at SkyMall Monday Headquarters, we still believe that the SkyMall catalog is best enjoyed in paper form on an airplane. But absent that, we welcome all technological advances that make getting these life-changing products into our hands quicker and easier than before. Which is why, this week, we’re taking a break from reviewing products to, instead, review the new SkyMall iPhone application.First things first, the SkyMall iPhone app is free. That makes it a real bargain.

More importantly, the app puts the entire SkyMall catalog on your phone. It automatically updates so that you are always perusing the current array of SkyMall booty. You can browse by department, by gift suggestions (sorted by intended recipient and price tiers) or simply search for a product by name. Once you identify a product of interest, you can read the product description, add it to your cart or email it to a friend to get a second opinion. After that, you can purchase your product directly from within the app.

The app allows you to complete your order just as you would online. You can even store your shipping address and credit card information for easy ordering. Within seconds, you’ll have found and ordered the SkyMall product of your dreams.

But the SkyMall iPhone app is more than just a handheld catalog. The app gives you instant access to SkyMall contact information, SkyMall’s Twitter feed and even a game of Concentration featuring popular SkyMall products. Killing time on flights just got SkyMallier!

As lovers of the SkyMall catalog, we love anything that brings us closer to becoming one with the catalog. But even someone without our strong pro-SkyMall bias would have to agree that this app is actually one of the better uses of mobile technology to date. It gives you true, 100% access to the catalog, excellent search capabilities and an ease of use that may be unparalleled in the mobile commerce market. Plus, you can’t beat the price.

SkyMall’s mobile app is available for iPhone and Blackberry. For those of you without either of those phones, you can still order on the go by navigating to SkyMall’s mobile page or by taking advantage of their new text-to-order interface. You can find out more about SkyMall’s mobile options here.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: FaceTrainer

by Mike Barish on

Growing older means adjusting to change. Change in your interests, change in your appearance and change in your ability to digest dairy without eye-burning flatulence. While people may enjoy the first and torture their spouses with the third, it’s the second that causes people much consternation. People try to hide the affects of aging using everything from creams to salves to balms to ointments to lotions. But what everyone forgets is that only one thing can truly help you turn back the clock. No, I’m not talking about eating babies to absorb their youthful souls. That only helps with spider veins. In order to make your face look like it did when you were a teenager (minus the embarrassing acne and nose that was too big for your head), you need to turn to SkyMall. This week, SkyMall Monday is here to give us all that youthful appearance that we all long to recapture. Forget about all of those placenta treatments and bird poop facials. It’s time that you restored your face to its former glory by shoving it into the Face Trainer.FaceTrainer is made by the good people at no!no! Why would you name your company no!no!? Probably because you sell rape whistles. But no!no! sells skin care products. So, you know, we’re not going to focus on the name. We prefer to focus on results. And what’s better than facial muscle resistance training in an unobtrusive mask?

Would you rather grow old gracefully or pump your face full of botulism? You’re simply going to be a liver-spotted old hag with an inability to emote. But you don’t have to take my word for it. You never do so why start now? Take a look at the product description and your face will begin to tighten up immediately:

Get a natural looking lift and look years younger with FaceTrainer, the only fitness device that applies the proven principals of resistance training to facial muscles. With just 10 minutes a day in the privacy of your own home, you can tighten sagging skin and ease the signs of aging. Clear, easy to follow illustrated and video instructions take you step-by-step through the exercises for the ultimate workout.

By now, you’re surely itching to watch these aforementioned instructional videos. Well, I’m sure you have work to do right now, but if you really want to watch people do facial exercises while inside a bondage costume, then don’t let me stop you. Just click here and keep some tissues and lotion close by.

You can continue to trip over your jowls or you can strap on the FaceTrainer and experience a “71% reduction in sagging.” The remaining 29% of sagging will just allow you to keep food crumbs stashed in the folds of your skin for when you get hungry in the middle of a movie.

Don’t just sit around growing old and waiting to die. Run away from death’s cold, icy grip by continuing to look young and virile. Strap on the FaceTrainer and unleash your inner child.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Passenger uses SkyMall to block air vent

by Mike Barish on

Airplanes are notoriously cold. That’s why everyone is eager to find the blankets and airlines are looking to make money off of them. But what do you do when the temperature in the plane is so low that you can’t possibly relax? If you’re on a plane that doesn’t allow you to close your the air vent above you, you’re typically out of luck. Recently, however, one passenger used some ingenuity, chutzpah and an airplane staple to remedy the situation on his own.

My friend Colin McCabe was flying to Austin earlier this month to attend the SXSW festival. His particular Delta flight was chilly. Or, as he put it, “meat locker cold.” The air vent was right over his head and could not be adjusted. He attempted to warm himself with a (free) blanket for 20 minutes to no avail. He notified the flight attendant of his discomfort and was told that there was nothing that she could do to adjust the temperature. Essentially, he was on his own.

That’s when the idea hit him. He grabbed the nearby SkyMall catalog, wedged it in the vent and completely blocked the flow of air raining down from above. He quickly became comfortable as the temperature by his seat increased. He had saved himself from the icy torment and cemented himself as a legend in the SkyMall Monday pantheon.

Sadly, the fix was temporary. The flight attendant told him that he had to remove the catalog as it was a “fire hazard.” Once again, he was besieged by gusts of frigid air as he flew south towards Texas.

Despite his thwarted attempt, we salute Colin for his quick-thinking (and for taking the photo above to share his experience).

Have you ever been so cold on a plane that you were at your wits’ end? What did you do to warm up? Share your tales of arctic airplanes in the comments.

Photo by Colin McCabe via Flickr.

SkyMall Monday: Wine Glass Holder Necklace ACTUAL REVIEW

by Mike Barish on

When we last profiled the Wine Glass Holder Necklace, it was way back in May 25, 2009. Times were simpler then. Our movies were in 2D and Michael Jackson was alive but mostly ignored by people who would later profess to be obsessed with him. I miss those halcyon days of yore. That’s why I purchased the Wine Glass Holder Necklaces from SkyMall. Produced by the fine people at Wine Enthusiast, the Wine Glass Holder Necklace allow you to carry your glass of wine whilst eating, shaking hands and engaging in general party attendance. Just like in the old days. To put the lanyards to the test, I left the SkyMall Monday headquarters and brought them with me to my girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding in Boston. What did we learn? Plenty. Or nothing. It’s hard to say. We drank a lot of wine. Anyway, let’s take a closer look.

%Gallery-89118%I’m not much of a jewelry man. Gold chains and extraneous rings just make men look like gigolos or owners of laundromats. But the Wine Glass Holder Necklace is functional. My girlfriend, Jordana, sauntered around the party with her glass of white wine secured comfortably below her bosom. I shuffled around slightly less confidently with my glass of red wine nestle against my man chest.

Perhaps if I was a model with a perfectly straight gait, I would have been less neurotic about having such a stain-causing liquid so close to my tie. But I was never able to fully relax and just bust a move. As long as that red wine was hanging from my neck like Andy Rooney’s jowls, I was never able to drop it like it was anything more than tepid.

This paranoia led me to never fill my wine glass more than halfway. Which meant more trips to the bar. Which meant more judgmental looks from my girlfriend’s parents. However, both Jordana and I were able to stuff our faces at the buffet without fear of dropping our forks, brie or forkfuls of brie. In that respect, the Wine Glass Necklace served with honor. With our hands free, our mouths were full. We were able to shake hands with the wedding party while maintaining a death grip on our plates. And, perhaps most importantly, we could high five when the desserts were brought out.

Was it difficult to dance with wine glasses around our necks? Yes. Would I recommend the Wine Glass Holder Necklace for any event that features a limbo competition? Heck no. Can you remove red wine stains from silk? I sure hope so.

At the end of the day, it takes a lot of confidence to wear your wine glass around your neck. You have to trust that you won’t spill on yourself. You have to trust that strangers won’t think you’re insane. And you have to trust that your girlfriend’s parents respect you for reviewing SkyMall products. But if you have that trust, then you’ll have two free hands and a glass of wine. And that, my friends, used to mean something. Back in the good old days.

I give the Wine Glass Holder Necklace two thumbs up. Because I can. Because both of my hands are free. [Author’s note: I stole that line from my girlfriend but I gave her a Wine Glass Holder Necklace so I consider us even.]

Check out our gallery of Wine Glass Holder Necklace pictures above or by clicking here.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Voice Interactive Travel Clock

by Mike Barish on

Some people prefer their favorite radio station. Others opt for an impossible-to-ignore beeping. For some, it’s the sunlight pouring through their windows. For parents, it’s often the screams of children. Whatever wakes you up, it’s imperative that it’s at the correct time. Being late for meetings, flights or circumcisions can lead to embarrassment, fees and foreskins. But what happens when you travel and you need to be roused at a specific time? Sure, you could rely on the hotel’s alarm clock…or the alarm on your watch…or a wake-up call…or the alarm on your phone…or a call from your spouse, but who wants to take the risk of those things not working? Surely, there must be a better way to ensure that you are up and at ’em on time. Thankfully, SkyMall knows that your watches, phones and spouses are about as reliable as Tiger Woods. So, rather than leaving things to chance, they’ve come to the rescue for people with places to go, people to see and penises to snip. And that’s why SkyMall Monday is thrilled to endorse the Voice Interactive Travel Clock.Watches are stuck to your wrist and can be muffled by pillows. Phone batteries die. Wake-up calls are contingent on you knowing what to do when that ringing sound emanates from the phone. And the alarm clocks at hotels are most likely covered in semen (like everything else in your hotel room). It’s best to bring your own alarm clock that doesn’t require the use of your hands (since it, too, is probably covered in semen – like everything else in your luggage).

Think that there are plenty of alternatives for waking up that don’t require you packing your own alarm clock? Think that packing an alarm clock with standard buttons and switches would suffice and that an alarm clock that responds to voice commands is gimmicky and useless? Well, I bet all of your belongings aren’t even covered in semen. Liar. Let’s take a look at the product description:

Unlike the confounding bedside clocks found in many hotel rooms, this travel alarm clock operates by verbal commands, making it as easy to set up as a wake-up call. Its advanced speech recognition technology responds to 10 spoken commands such as “set time,” “set alarm,” and “today’s date?” with clear and accurate verbal answers.

It’s the alarm clock of the future…today! I bet it would look great next to a bowl of Dippin’ Dots. And lest you think that Gadling doesn’t know about the future of alarm clocks, we were working the voice interactive clock beat months ago.

Look, you can say that a voice activated alarm clock is a gimmick. But you can also explain to the Greenbaum family why their mohel was late to little Shlomo’s briss. I’m guessing that won’t go over so well. Best to keep your hands clean and your alarm set with the Voice Interactive Travel Clock.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.