Barefoot Bandit has travel cred

Now that Colton Harris-Moore has been nabbed by the prim and humorless Bahamian police, it’s open season on psychologically dissecting the teen robber and analyzing his high-jinks artistry. Love him or hate him, hero or criminal, one thing is certain: this kid gets around. If “well-traveled”, “worldly” and “ingenious” are positive traits (oh, and they are), then Colton darling deserves a congratulatory pat on his orange-jumpsuit-covered back.

Let’s review, shall we? By the fresh age of 19, the Barefoot Bandit has:

  • Taught himself to fly with video games and stole at least five planes for private scenic flights across the country, including his final jump to the Bahamas.
  • Enjoys fast boats and has managed to steal several sleek and expensive craft for high-speed joy rides across the Pacific Northwest and Florida.
  • Traveled thousands of miles in three countries and at least six states by way of stolen cars and bikes.
  • Used computer fraud to purchase bear mace and night vision goggles, which is not only totally bad ass, but something that every American male wishes he had in his backpack.
  • Survived on uninhabited islets and in the woods at a time when the average American teenager can barely survive at school.
  • Checked himself into other peoples’ private vacation homes for relaxation, eating fine foods from their fridges and soaking in their unused jacuzzi tubs, revealing a penchant for spa living.
  • Crossed back and forth across international borders sans passport, which is also impressive.
  • Stole from Canadians, Americans, and Bahamaians, showing no favorites or displaying any discrimination.
  • Took pictures of himself with various digital cameras in wild places, mimicking millions of tourists who do the same.
  • Hates shoes and travels mostly barefoot, an unwitting observer of TSA security checkpoint regulations.

The list goes on and on but the point is clear: Young Colton loved his freedom and suffers from interminable wanderlust. The guy has broken some serious state and federal laws and caused around $1.5 million worth of damage but he hasn’t harmed any humans. So the kid is a complete punk? So are most of the Israeli backpackers you meet in Bolivia and the Eurotrash in Thailand. Maybe all that Colton needed was an all-expenses paid gap year in which he got to choose his own itinerary and fly his own planes.

Good luck Colton. Not sure about Wi-Fi reception in prison, but if you keep reading Gadling you’ll soon discover that your insatiable travel itch is fairly universal. We, too love to fly across borders and hike into remote places and soak in hot tubs with a view. There is a legal way to do all these things, but if our brand of travel ever did become illegal, then my guess is that we’d all choose to be outlaws, just like you.

(Photo: Colton Harris-Moore, self-portrait)

Galley Gossip: How to get free beer in flight

Recently I read an article on News.com.au about a passenger who stole a few cans of beer from a beverage cart and then tried to flush the evidence – the empty cans, not the liquid – on an Air Canada Jazz flight. The pilot diverted the plane and the nameless thief, 23, was arrested for causing a disturbance on an aircraft. Like most airlines, Air Canada Jazz has zero tolerance for unruly behavior.

It did not come as a surprise to read about the passenger who had been caught stealing liquor, because I’ve come across quite a few sticky fingers myself over the years squatting in front of an unmanned cart or walking out of the galley with minis hanging out of their pockets. Yes, I made them put it back! What shocked me about the whole thing was the fact that the passenger actually tried to flush those aluminum cans down the toilet! Seriously, that’s crazy!

Once, years ago, on a Sun Jet International flight, a passenger decided an hour before landing that a fire extinguisher would make a wonderful souvenir. Somehow, I don’t know how, she managed to stuff the large red bottle inside a duffel bag and hide it under the seat in front of her, and she did it without anyone seeing her do so. The extinguisher only found its way back into the metal brackets behind the last row of coach after we, the crew, made several PA’s threatening to search every bag on board the airplane, which happened after we made a few other PA’s about not allowing anyone deplane until the fire extinguisher was returned – no questions asked. Not too long ago a passenger lo and behold “found” an egg McMuffin just sitting on my jump seat and figured it was for the taking. If the guilty one had not already bitten into my breakfast sandwich I would have snatched it back. I can’t even tell you the number of times my magazines and books have disappeared right out of my tote bag. People do crazy things on airplanes.

Now back to the beer-drinking-aluminum-can flushing idiot who didn’t have to steal the liquor which resulted in an arrest and probably a fine that was much higher than the price of an adult beverage. Really, there are ways to get free alcohol without causing an in flight disturbance, ya know. Oh sure it depends on the crew and the airline and what’s going on that day, but here are a few ways to increase your chances…

HOW TO GET FREE BEER ON A FLIGHT

  1. Switch seats. When the family with small children scattered all over the airplane asks if you mind switching your aisle seat for a middle seat, do it! Just make sure the flight attendants are watching.
  2. Assist. It’s seconds before departure and you see a flight attendant struggling to get those last bins shut, give her a hand. She’ll remember who you are.
  3. Speak up. The jerk in the last row is going on and on about his miserable day and now he’s taking it out on the crew. They can’t say anything, but you can, and they’ll be glad you did.
  4. Lie. Tell the flight attendants they’re doing a wonderful job and this is the best flight you’ve ever been on. Thank them for making your day.
  5. Brag. Let it be known just how many miles you’ve flown on the airline and then tell the crew why, exactly, you’ve flown so many miles and why, exactly, you’ll continue to fly those miles.
  6. Be Polite. Saying please and thank you and making eye contact actually goes a long way
  7. Don’t ask! Even if you think you deserve it.

Stories of booze gone bad in the skies

Crashing parties to get free food and drink is on the rise

If you saw Wedding Crashers, you are familiar with the story idea of people pretending to be connected to the bride or groom in some manner in order to have access to the single women attendees.

The possibility of a sexual tryst is not the only reason to pretend to be what you’re not.

According to this article at am New York, there are some people in New York City who pose as reporters in order to get into “swanky” events. The desire for free food and drinks is presented as one of the motivations. Another is to have up close and personal access to important people.

Lately, according to the article, the number of folks sporting fake ID or phony media-style business cards to gain access to party bliss, has dramatically increased. Another result of the economic doldrums, perhaps? Maybe it’s the stockbrokers who are off the A-list looking to regain the glory days?

It doesn’t sound as if those who try this tactic have a heck of a lot of success, although, they must have some because they keep trying.

A psychology professor who was asked to come up with reasons why people might attempt such antics said that it might be because people who try to get into fancy events who don’t belong may have a low sense of self worth and want to feel better about themselves.

Harumph! I’m thinking it’s because it’s a game to play. That, and the free food and libations.

Who hasn’t eyed that pastry tray laden with goodies or enormous piles of cubed cheese with toothpicks for dainty eating, the cornerstone of convention center events. There they are just inside the door of the room that is connected to the hallway through which you’re passing. So yummy looking. . . So free.

I’m not saying I’d grab one, not even an almond croissant, but isn’t temptation one of those fleeting thoughts?

Gnome bandit reignites French-German hostilities

The French and the Germans have a long, complicated diplomatic history. Aside from the fierce hostilities that took place during World War I and World War II, the two countries frequently bicker over disputed boundaries, in particular the Alsace-Lorraine region. Though tensions have cooled noticeably in recent years, it looks as though a new “international incident” involving garden gnomes (?!) is once again stirring tensions.

According to Metro UK, a sneaky gentleman from France has been charged with stealing around 170 of the statues on both sides of the French-German border. Although the motivation for the crime has puzzled French authorities, some have speculated that it may be part of the work of a shadowy organization known as the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. At the very least, it seems to be only one in a long string of gnome-targeted attacks.

Could this be part of some vast international gnome conspiracy to topple the world order? I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure, though I have my suspicions that Travelocity’s annoying gnome mascot (or at least a clever marketing department) is somehow involved. Stay tuned.

TSA Thief Red-Handed and Arrested

While a few days old now, this news on TSA theft comes out of Milwaukee where a TSA employee was caught red-handed and arrested for guess what – stealing. Apparently times must have gotten hard for the 26-year-old woman, an employee for the Transportation Security Administration for four years who is now out on bail. The incident occurred at Mitchell International Airport while the woman was screening carry-on luggage at Concourse D. A co-worker, who spotted her taking money from a passenger’s wallet and stashing it behind a magazine rack rightfully snitched and investigators, went in for the kill.

How much money did they find? $235 behind the magazine rack and only $20 had come from the wallet that was seen being pick-pocketed. As mentioned earlier and according to the Milwaukee Channel news piece, the TSA thief is out of jail on $200 bail. Now, what is this news telling the good traveling citizens of America? Here are some of my thoughts: First, $200 bail is not justice and probably doesn’t come close to what the suspect may have possibly stolen in the past. Second, watch your check-in, your carry-on and your back now folks. If someone could be so bold to take your money during the screening process they’re bound to come snatch the shirt from your very back.

Oh, where will it end?

A TSA spokeswoman told the local news that only 1% of those who have donned the TSA uniform since August 2002 have been removed from employment for theft. 1% of the 80,000 = 800 and is still far too many for my comfort level, how about you?

via Jaunted