‘Night School 4 Girls’ is Vegas’s newest learning vacation

Bear with me now as I attempt to tell you about the newest learning vacation available in Las Vegas. Night School 4 Girls, which we learned about from our friends at the San Francisco Chronicle, is a new class at the Excalibur Hotel and Casino that teaches girls the art of seduction, from pole dancing to burlesque to “more” – though the official website doesn’t explain exactly what “more” means. The 70-minute classes take place at the Excalibur’s Thunder from Down Under Showroom (I am not making this up) and are strictly for women. Uh, I mean girls.

Because it is a school, participants choose from four different party packages – Flirty Freshmen, Sexy Sophmore’s [sic], Juicy Juniors, or Sultry Seniors – all of which include an official diploma and NS4G souvenir photo. Pricier packages get you benefits such as VIP nightclub access to Cathouse, a party boa, open bar privileges, and other goodies to help you express your drunk…uh, I mean uninhibited…side.

E! Television star Laura Croft, the school’s headmistress, and four other instructors with backgrounds in dance, put students through their paces at the Night School 4 Girls. But, because of Laura’s “busy schedule of parties and appearances,” she will not be in attendance at every class. Lucky for us, she does offer some helpful party tips for visiting Vegas. For example, “Need a quick energy boost? Try a Jagerbomb” and “Only take your top off…when asked nicely.”

Would you look at that? I got through that whole post without making a pun of the Las Vegas Strip. But with a topic like Night School 4 Girls, those puns just write themselves, don’t they?

Photo © Night School 4 Girls

Impromptu striptease on Delta flight ends in hospitalization

It’s always wild when passengers do crazy stuff on flights, but the trend has taken a new twist: the media always seems to be present. A CNN photographer was on hand to find bullets left behind by a law enforcement officer, and now a news manager from Newsday was present to witness a passenger stripping.

On Delta Flight 6562 over the weekend the woman, who hasn’t been named, peeled off layers until she reached a state only the TSA could appreciate, as flight attendants tried in vain to cover her up. According to the Associated Press, she yelled, “No! No! No!”

The woman was said not to have interfered with the flight and was taken to Jamaica Hospital Medical Center in Queens when the flight landed. She isn’t expected to face criminal charges. There’s no word on whether she left the flight with a thong full of singles.

There is a silver lining in all this. Not too long ago, Delta was proclaimed the worst airline in the United States. With perks like this, I expect that perception to change.

[photo by Steve Zak Photography]

Apparently you can’t strip in airports

You’re late for a flight. Your clothes are wet and filthy. You have a change of clothes with you in the airport. What do you do? If you said, “find the closest restroom and put on your fresh duds,” then you are well on your way to staying out of jail in Salvador, Brazil.

It seems that two German tourists decided to just strip down and change their clothes in the middle of the Salvador airport. The two travelers said that they thought it “was normal” to change clothes like that in Brazil. Because it’s always Carnaval in Brazil, even at the airports.

Surely they must have had a good reason for attempting to get out of their clothes so urgently. Well, “one of them got wet during a boat trip and the other felt sick and vomited during the same trip earlier in the day.” Wait. He didn’t think to change his clothes immediately after vomiting? Did he spend the rest of the day in the vomit-covered shirt and only think to change when he got to the airport? How chunky was the vomit?

They have been charged with obscenity and could face up to a year in prison, where stripping down will have even worse repercussions.

No word yet on whether they continued to wear their German uniform of wool socks with sandals.

[Via Sydney Morning Herald]

Strippers abound in Tampa, as expected, for big game

There won’t be many lonely nights in Tampa this Super Bowl weekend. Prostitutes, it seems, will be widely available. As one of these sex workers remarked, “Pimps see the Super Bowl as a moneymaking opportunity sent by God.” So, if you’re making the trek down to Florida for the biggest sporting event of the year, know that you won’t be alone.

Now, if street-corner encounters are not for you, remember that Tampa is the world’s lap dance capital. Strippers will be out in force, with memories of their financial success from Super Bowl XXXV. Bernie Notte, for example, remembers pulling down $6,000 in four days and dancing even after her feet bled. Liquored up football fans were willing to drop $100 for a $25 dance.

Why focus on strip clubs gentlemen’s clubs? Tampa has 43 of them. “Trampa,” as some call it, has what everyone wants: “Football and naked girls.”

Interestingly, local authorities expect, to a certain extent, that patrons will be on the “honor system,” as they are not stepping up enforcement for the weekend. So, it is up to you to maintain the six-foot distance from a stripper that is required by law. Obviously, local strip club owners are happy about this.

Not that you have any chance of getting that close anyway …

Approximately 7,000 journalists from 500 media organizations have received credentials for the Super Bowl, and they’ll all be pushing up against the main stage when the game is over. Don’t worry, though. The media industry is in crisis, and these guys will run out of singles in less time than it takes to pound an $8 beer.

[Photo of Carmen Luvana thanks to Adam & Eve]