SkyMall Monday: Top 5 products for hurricane season

Here on the East Coast, Hurricane Irene made for quite the weekend. First, we braved the hordes of crazy people in the supermarket (no one needs that much peanut butter), then the torrential rains and, more than anything, the constant barrage of media hype. Thankfully, we’re all safe and accounted for here at SkyMall Monday headquarters. However, we’re now well aware that hurricane season is underway and still has weeks to go. That’s why it’s time to make sure that you’re prepared. By now, you should have flashlights and batteries (and to the people who needed to buy them this weekend, why didn’t you own them already?), but there are plenty of other items that you should own to ensure that you’re prepared for the next month or so of tropical weather. Here are the top five SkyMall products you need for hurricane season.5. Monet Rain Boots (pictured above)

When the weather is bad, it doesn’t matter how ugly you look so long as you stay dry. Since it doesn’t matter, you might as well be the ugliest.

4. Make Your Own Truffle Kit

There’s a good chance that your local chocolatier will be closed during storms so they can hoard their confections for their own family. Fear not, however, as you can easily whip up some emergency truffles. Disaster has never been so decadent.

3. The Spectator Umbrella

Let’s go right to the product description:

When not providing rain protection, it can be converted into a seat cane with a comfortable 13″ wide leather strap seat by simply spreading the handles.

You want to stay dry as you brave the storm, but you also want to relax once you get to the shelter and using the cots that they provide just sounds unsanitary.

2. Women’s Waterproof Rain Cape

Over the river (which is flooding over its banks) and through the woods (which is full of fallen trees), to grandmother’s house you go (because she’s outside of the evacuation zone and still has electricity). Ponchos are so last year and jackets are cliche. This hurricane season, it’s all about capes. Just look out for the big, bad wolf (or, you know, downed power lines).

1. Testosterole Sexual Enhancer

You’re going to be spending a lot of time inside the house with no TV, internet or electronic entertainment options. Eventually, you’ll want to have some fun with what’s underneath that cape. [Note: I would have posted the product description but it’s painfully long and includes the word “secretion,” which makes me very uncomfortable.]

Stay safe out there, kids.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Want to get lucky on the road? Look on Wednesday, act on Thursday

Feeling amorous on the road? Well, the best day to act on that urge is probably Thursday. Avoid people on Tuesdays, since that’s when a crappy mood is most likely, and save Monday’s for relaxation (and to avoid a heart attack). This may sound like strange advice, but it comes straight out of a study in the British Medical Journal.

The progression actually makes a lot of sense. The study suggests looking for love (or, I assume, lust) on Wednesday, calling it “ideal for a first date,” according to 40 percent of the 8,000 singles polled. So, cruise the hotel bar for some temporary bliss, but don’t act on it right away! Thursdays are for sex. And to help you seal the deal, Wednesday is the best day to ask for a raise, so you’ll be able to line your pockets to finance the big push, so to speak.

Thursday, remember, is your day for action. Natural cortisol energy levels hit their peak, The Sun writes. Get up early when testosterone and estrogen are up to five times higher, and take full advantage of what nature’s giving you. Then, shower, grab a quick bite from the hotel’s continental breakfast and get off to that morning meeting!

[photo by Melissa Audrey via Flickr]