Gadling

I’d like to take this opportunity to voice my extreme displeasure with two things: Mediacom cable television, and the Motorola DVR system. Mediacom is, quite simply, the worst company I’ve ever had to deal with. They are absolute hogs when it comes to customer service, and their digital cable feed is consistently sketchy, out of service, or just unwatchable. It kills me that I have absolutely no other options when it comes to television service; I’d drop them in a second if there was an alternative. The Motorola DVR system, as issued by Mediacom and other leading cable companies, sucks. I was going to list all of the reasons, but then I remember reading fellow Weblogs Inc. blogger Ryan Block’s “Things I hate most about my Motorola DVR,” which sums up my feelings all too well. So I’ll just direct you there.

I suppose it goes without saying that Mediacom and my Motorola DVR system completely screwed up (once again) my recording of the Amazing Race, so I didn’t get to watch last night’s episode. I don’t have a recap for you. However, I figured I’d just pull together a bunch of different reviews into one location so that I at least have something. So if you didn’t get to watch the episode last night (like me) but have a working DVR and plan on watching it later: stop reading now, because spoilers be lurking inside this here post. Let’s go!

Actually, you know what? It’s sort of fun to read a recap without having seen the episode. TVSquad says, “Danny was so very wrong during the cookie challenge and then he was such a jerk to Oswald the rest of this leg!” Cookie challenge? Hmm…sounds like an eating task to me which, by the way, have been completely lame this season. Two feet of sausage? No problem! Whatever happened to the three pounds of caviar or ostrich eggs teams were required to eat? I could eat two feet of sausage in my sleep. The cookie challenge was probably something along the lines of, “eat an entire package of 100 calorie Oreos!” Come on.

Jaunted.com always has a pretty good recap. What did they have to say? In Malaysia, “Mirna recruits some neighborhood kids to push her bike, and then tells them not to do drugs.” Man, I always miss the good stuff. And by “good stuff,” I mean “Charla and Mirna making complete fools of themselves in every single country they visit.”

It looks like Uchenna and Joyce made a poor choice by booking a flight that left only one hour for a connection in Germany. They missed the connection, which put them a day behind all of the other teams and got them booted off the race. Rats, there goes my winning pick once again. Who should I root for next? Whoever it is better watch out; they’re going to have the wrath of Justin rooting them on, almost guaranteeing a loss. I think I’ll go with the blondes, Dustin and Kandice. Watch out girls!

Join me next week (hopefully) for another recap of the Amazing Race: All-Stars!

As always, if you don’t want to hear any spoilers, please leave the room now. Otherwise, let’s go! Last week we left off in Argentina, where Rob and Amber went from first place to last and were eliminated from the race. This week holds some more surprises….let’s find out what happened.

Since Oswald & Danny were the first to arrive last week, they’re the first to receive the next clue: grab a taxi and head to the base of the Martial Mountain chain where they’ll hop on a ski left and travel 1100 meters to the Martial Glacier. Each team is given an avalanche beacon which will be used to locate the next clue buried under snow and ice on the glacier. I’m not certain here, but it appeared that all of the buried clues responded to all beacons, instead of each individual team having their own clue to seek out. This proved to make the challenge more difficult, sending teams in circles as they followed the distance read-out on the beacon which is responding to 7 different clues at the same time.

Joe & Bill were the first to find a buried clue, which revealed they would finally be leaving South America for Maputo — the bustling capital and port city of Mozambique, Africa. The teams are also instructed that they must book their flights through a travel agent, as they’re the only ones authorized to handle international flights. As the teams finish the avalanche beacon challenge, they head back into Ushuaia to find a travel agent. The Race organizers gave the teams tickets to leave at 3:00 PM, telling them to search out earlier flights if they choose to do so. This is probably due to odd flying schedules out of Ushuaia, which could have left teams stuck for days if they happened to not get the 3:00 flight.

After flying over 7,000 miles, the teams land in Mozambique and are instructed to take a taxi to the Apopo Training Field for their next clue. On the way, Eric & Danielle mess with Joe & Bill, telling their driver to pass them up. After arriving, J&B confront E&D, telling them to watch their speed. This is confusing, because each team has a driver and is not actually in control of the car. Even so, J&B take it personally and flip out in classic style. It’s here that I realize Bill bares a striking resemblance to Growing Pains star Alan Thicke. Seriously, they look just alike!

Anyway, the teams bicker about something, and then move on to the next detour. One team member must assist a gigantic, mine-sniffing rat around a field where clues are buried under the ground. When the rat finds a clue (which smells like a mine, I guess?) it will begin to dig. Teams then call over a man with a metal detector and shovel to finish the job. I’m not sure why everyone is freaking out about the rats. I think they’re kind of cute.

Once teams find their clue (and I’ll spare you the details — they all do), they are instructed to find Praca dos Trabalhadores, a building designed by French architect, Gustave Eiffel. He’s done some other monument in France… a tower, though I can’t remember the name. You wouldn’t know it anyway.

After finding the building and subsequent clue box sitting outside, teams learn the next Road Block: Pamper or Porter. In Pamper, teams must harass local market-goers into letting them paint their nails. The team must earn 30 Mozambican meticals doing this, or about $1 USD. In Porter, teams must load 10 bags with 45 pounds of coal, and carry one bag to a house down the street. The teams that choose Pamper make it through the Road Block much quicker, though with much less dignity. Charla & Mirna choose Pamper, and end up shouting at the locals in every language imaginable — French, English, Spanish, Italian — hoping they will respond to at least one. I originally made fun of them for using Spanish while getting directions to the market, but I later learned that Portuguese is Mozambique’s official language, so it kind of makes sense. Sorry girls — I still despise you, but sorry.

Charla & Mirna breeze through the Road Block — who wouldn’t want to have their nails painted by a little person? — and are the first to arrive at the next pit stop located in the oldest building in Maputo: Fortaleza. Dustin & Kandice and Teri & Ian — also painting nails — are the next to arrive, with Oswald & Danny following behind. O&D, who chose to shovel coal, arrive completely covered in soot, and chase Phil around the Fortaleza grounds trying to give him a hug. I’m not sure what he was so afraid of — getting dirty, or getting a hug from O&D? Regardless, Phil prances around the grounds like a gazelle, which always makes for good TV. I always enjoy the pit stop antics of Phil — the dirty German, the Australian whip. Good stuff.

Joe & Bill and Eric & Danielle both arrive on the mat at virtually the same time, E&D arriving a few seconds later, thinking they’re last. Eric, as usual, performs his “worst boyfriend ever” duties by lashing out on Danielle for letting the two “weirdos” beat them to the mat. Luckily for them Uchenna & Joyce had yet to arrive, leaving E&D in 6th place and U&J in last.

Man, I’m 0-2 here. Up until last week, I was rooting for Rob & Amber. When they got the boot, I switched to Uchenna & Joyce, and now they arrive last. It’s the curse of Justin. Fortunately for them, it was a………wait for it……non-elimination round, so they will have to arrive first on the next leg or receive a 30 minute penalty.

Catch us next Monday for another recap of the Amazing Race: All-Stars!

Oh, the Amazing Race never seems to fail. If you haven’t seen the second episode and aren’t interested in hearing any spoilers, please stop reading now. Otherwise, let’s go!

Last week we left the All-Star Amazing Racers (minus one team) in Quito, Ecuador, where the 1st pit-stop was from the premiere episode. The episode begins with Drew — the same guy who tripped and fell on the concrete in some sort of bizarre, uh, falling accident — experiencing altitude sickness and in need of bottled oxygen in order to continue. This isn’t the last we hear of Drew and his ailments (sounds like a band name, doesn’t it?), as he survives to continue the race, but not without whining like a little girl at every bump in the road. Literally.

Receiving their next clue, Racers head to the airport to catch a plane to Santiago, Chile, home of Codelco’s Corporate Headquarters. Like the thugs that they are, Kevin and Drew play flight attendant by yanking Kentucky’s luggage out of a first-class overhead bin because they were sitting coach. Acting in a complete opposite manner, life partners Joe and Bill rustle up some cucumber slices and place them over their eyes to reduce the swelling caused by jet lag, I guess. Tell me: you’re on a race around the world — where do you find the time to secure cucumbers, and how do you slice them? What they probably didn’t show is Joe and Bill harassing a Subway sandwich artist for a baggy of leftover, complexion-cleansing vegetables and a Cold Cut Trio.

Codelco is the world’s largest copper producer, and it is in their corporate offices where, after landing in Santiago, the racers have their next roadblock. This seemed quite confusing at first: the task was to find random letters around a boardroom and unscramble them into location names noted underneath 10 pictures on the office walls. Who comes up with this stuff? A boardroom? That’s exactly what it was like in my house while watching: a board room. RIMSHOT! A few of the teams were smart enough (Kentucky?!) to do the challenge in reverse by writing all the location names down and working backwards from the letters they found. This proved to be much quicker, and allowed several teams to leave the not-so-bright in the dust. But still…who cares? They’re going to have to really pick things up to hold my interest here.

The letters, once unscrambled, spelled out their next destination: Chuquicamata, the largest open pit copper mine in the world located in Calama, Chile. And so it was — the teams hopped another flight towards Calama and once they landed and found the copper mine, they were ready for the Detour: By hand or By machine. In by hand, teams had to tighten some lug nuts or screws on a giant machine wheel. In by machine, each team member had to separately operate a front-loader and use it to dump some dirt. Thrilling stuff here, folks. Really.

After finishing the task, teams could now head to the location of the next pit stop: The Valley of the Dead, in the Valley of the Moon, in the Valley of the Doorknob, over the Valley of the Helpmegodthisisboring. The only notable thing happening is Charla and Mirna’s altercation with a taxi driver over the cost of a following fare. “Just take all my money!” yelled Mirna, thrusting her purse (or was it the race fanny pack?) into the arms of the driver. I’m surprised she didn’t rip off all of her clothes, hand over the keys to the truck she was driving, and break out her will to sign all of her worldly possessions over to this poor taxi driver who just wanted his money so he could be on his way. “Amigo!”

Ramber once again finish first, which isn’t surprising since they seem to be the only team really racing the way this race should be raced. NY thugs arrive last, but not without Drew using every excuse in the book. “I tried my hardest,” he told Phil at the loser’s mat, which was quickly followed up with a complaint about a sore driving foot. What? Come on, dude. You hurt your foot while driving? Sorry, but I’m glad you’re gone.

Catch us next Monday for another recap of the Amazing Race: All-Stars!