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Ten dumb things you’re likely to do if you drink and travel

by Annie Scott on Aug 19, 2010

We’ve all heard it a million times: don’t drink too much when you’re traveling. It’s dangerous. However, that “danger” is so amorphous and non-specific, it’s hard to determine what the warnings really mean. Here are ten dumb things you’re likely to do if you drink and travel. You can take this as a warning, or, if you happen to be drunk and traveling right now … as a checklist.

Don’t ask me how I know these things.

1. Not remember anything.

Whoops. Isn’t the whole point of traveling to experience things and make memories? If you had an amazing travel experience but you were so drunk you can’t remember it very well, it practically didn’t happen. When someone asks if you had a good time on your trip to Cabo and you say “I think so …” … you have failed.

2. Drunk dial or text — for quite a hefty roaming price.

Telephone calls can be a dollar, two dollars or more per minute from foreign locations. Text messages: also spendy. Drunk dialing is all fun and games when it’s included in your plan, but that twenty minute message you leave before falling asleep on the phone while traveling in Bora Bora can cost darn near as much as your flight. Be careful.3. Get on the wrong train/boat/bus.

I get on the wrong train sober all the time. Transportation stations are confusing! There are often signs for several destinations on the same platform, and when you’re out of your element, you don’t necessarily know where to look for information or which train is the right one. When you’re drunk, you’re also more likely to just “take an educated guess,” which can take you ten or more miles in the wrong direction. If you’re trying to get to the airport, this mistake could make you …

4. Miss your flight.

Not only do the flight attendants not have to let you board if you’re under the influence, but there are a hundred things that could go wrong between the bar and the airport that would result in you missing your flight. Even drinking heavily at the airport is dangerous to your itinerary. Airports can be very complex buildings with poor signage. Don’t let rebooking fees happen to you.

5. Lose your wallet and/or passport.

Whether it’s because you got sloppy and let yourself get robbed (those robbers are looking for drunk tourists, you know) or you simply left your purse/wallet on the back of a toilet; losing your money and/or documents in a foreign country — or even in some dive bar in Austin — totally sucks. You almost never hear stories of “I lost my wallet in London” without alcohol being involved. There’s a reason for this. There’s also the danger of deciding to put your passport in a “really safe hiding place” late at night and then never finding it again. It’s a problem.

6. Send overly-emotional emails.

Travel can bring up a lot of big feelings about yourself or the people in your life. Drinking and emailing, as well as drinking and blogging, are ~~hilarious~~ discouraged.

7. Pay too much.

It can happen even in your own town. You open up your wallet after a night out and — oh hey! — where did all your money go? This can be even more likely to happen in a foreign country for a number of reasons. The currency can be confusing or just plain not feel like real money to you, encouraging you to spend willy-nilly. Also, the thrill of being somewhere new can tempt you to buy drinks for entire groups of people you won’t ever see again (which is fine if you can afford it and not fine if you can’t) or do something ridiculous like get a tattoo in the middle of the night — and pay a lot of money for it.

8. Get a tattoo or other permanent bodily adornment.

There is nothing quite like having no idea why you have a an ugly unicorn with the name “Sean” under it tattooed on your right hip.

9. Get lost.

Getting lost is a natural part of travel, but if you’ve been drinking, it can be especially dangerous. Chances are, if you don’t know where you are, no one else does either, which means if you go missing, you’re more likely to never be found again. You can also walk into a rough part of town without realizing it — the impaired judgment won’t help you in any way. You might just be interested in the things you’re looking at and not even realize you’ve gotten yourself totally lost and that the only way home, if you can find one, is a pricey taxi. Try to stick to places you’ve already been sober.

10. Fall asleep somewhere inappropriate (above).

Jet lag + alcohol = sleep. It’s science.

[Photo by crossfirecw via Flickr.]

Top 10 Maui beaches

by Jason Heflin on Aug 5, 2010

The Hawaiian islands are known far and wide for the quality of their beaches. From narrow strips of volcanic black sand with dramatic jungle backdrops, to crowded beaches full of the who’s who of the world, Hawaii has a beach for everyone. Maui has just as much diversity as the entire island chain with over 30 miles of beaches. The most easily accessible beaches are located on the west and south or leeward sides of the island. Conversely, the north sees quite a bit of wind and waves while the eastern or windward side harbors more remote beaches in the inlets and bays.

With so many options of beaches to choose it’s hard to pick just ten, but we’ll pick our favorites for you below:

Napili Beach

This crescent shaped beach is tucked into a bay holding several smaller resorts north of Lahaina in west Maui. Gain access to this beach on Hui Drive after you pass north of Lahaina and beyond a few of the larger resorts on your left. Napili is a perfect place to plant your beach gear and drop in the water for some body boarding. To take part, body boards can be purchased at any of the local water sports shops and can even be picked up at many of the convenience stores.

Napili is a steep beach with plenty of sand. Children are fine here when the waters are calm, but be aware that the waves can get rough; there can be a strong undertow so test the waters before sending younger kids in. Another tip: shade is sporadic and usually taken by the wee morning hours so arrive early. Parking is free on the street but is a pain in the rear to find. Keep driving around and something usually opens up near the beach access due to rotating traffic from the grocery across the street.

Kapalua Beach

With sounds of swaying palms and gently crashing waves, Kapalua has a reputation for good swimming — and rightly so: it’s perfect for families and children as the undertow is rarely a problem and the water seldom gets too unruly for little ones. Besides the calm swimming waters the beach is a beautiful backdrop for a picnic and the coconut tree grove and lava points at the ends of the beach make for a great photo op, so don’t forget the camera. If you need quick access to the beach, The Sea House restaurant offers a great way to get in.

Ka’anapali Beach

Ka’anapali isn’t the only name this beach has — the locals have several other names for it and nobody can seem to agree on one. This may make getting directions a bit confusing, but don’t let that stop you. Ka’anapali is a wide beach lined with towering condos on the backside and usually smooth waves on the other. Sand is plentiful here and sandcastle building is a must.

The other popular activity on Ka’anapali is watching the sun set. There are no obstructions (save the occasional sailboat) to block your view of the ever-popular Hawaiian sunset. Some even say you can see the “green flash” here.

Green flash or not, Ka’anapali is a great place to watch the sun drop below the horizon. There is also a long paved path along the back side of the beach which makes for a romantic stroll at the end of the day.

Makena Beach

Makena beach, has it all, and proved to be one of my favorite spots as I spent time roughing it here. If facing the beach, the right end has access to water sports at the resort. Snorkeling gear, kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding and even snorkel cruises can be booked there. The left side of the beach is more tranquil with some shade for escaping the skin-melting sun and picnic tables for lunch breaks.

There is beach access where Makena Road dead ends. If you can’t find a spot for your car near the turnaround at the end of the road, extra parking is also available on Makena Road at the historic Keawala’i Church. Interestingly, this 1832-built church is constructed of lava stone and is a site to see all by itself. Or if you want to show off with valet parking drop your car at the Makena Beach and Golf Resort.

Big Beach

If you seek the perfect beach for throwing a football, tossing a Frisbee, or kicking a soccer ball, this is it. Big beach lives up to its name in that it is not only long and wide but in that it holds some rather sizable crowds. The sandy beach recesses very far from the water and allows for plenty of room for activities. Parking is tight and even on weekdays the lot will be full. Don’t be deterred by this small snag, however, the beach can handle the crowds.

Looking for some shade? At the far end of the beach, a hefty walk from the entry walkway, there is a large lava rock wall which supplies shade in the mornings.

Little Beach

Another creatively named beach, Little Beach, is connected to Big Beach via a rock scramble. Passing the lava rock wall on your right at the end of Big Beach you’ll encounter a path leading over the rocky point and down onto Little Beach. This is a great place to get away from the crowds and it’s also a great place to shed your bathing suit — local nudists call this place home.

Little Beach is less frequented, which leaves plenty of room to enjoy the good snorkeling, excellent body boarding and swimming.

Hana Bay

Hana Bay is one of the few beaches on the east side of the island that actually draws a crowd, though that crowd won’t be anything like what you’ll experience at the beaches on the west and south sides. For the tiny hamlet of Hana, the hundred-or-so people dotting the beach is considered full. Hana’s blue waters are a great place to dig a kayak paddle into when the sun gets hot and the black sand gets hotter. The government allows you to take some of that sand away in a bottle too – free souvenir score!

The landscape at Hana Bay drops steeply from the mountains and is covered with lush green vegetation. The frequent rains on this side of the island have prevented mass-development and kept the community small and friendly. Comprised of black sand, the remnants of lava flows of yore, the beach at Hana has plenty of shade and the park lining the back of the beach has places to leave your car nearby.

For food, TuTu’s snack shop is located in a building at the back of the beach. Its over-priced hamburgers may not be the best, but the view is worth every dollar.

Red Sand Beach

The aptly named Red Sand Beach sports a sand with a reddish tint which derives its color from the cinder cone just to the rear of the bay. There is a lava wall which keeps rough waters out of this small cove and prevents the sand from eroding it. The beach has little to offer in the way of snorkeling or swimming. What it lacks in activities, however, it more than makes up in beauty. The red beach, azure waters, and the green hillsides that drop to this little slice of heaven could just become the subject of the best photo you take in your life. To reach this secluded beach drive to the far side of Ka’uiki Hill, just to the south of Hana Bay.

La Perouse Bay

As part of the Ahihi Kina’u Natural Preserve, this stretch of water and beach is an ideal place to get your snorkel wet. La Perouse is all about getting in the water, and not about beach bumming. The beach is scattered with remnants of the last lava flow that made its way down Haleakala around 1790. The lava-leftovers make for some obstacles when wading, so be sure to wear foot protection when exploring these waters.

Dolphin sightings are frequent and there are several archeological sites in the area to see, while a small hole in the lava rock a few hundred yards past the parking lot produces a scenic blowhole some afternoons. Drive to the end of Makena Alanui Road to find this place. The drive takes you past several nice homes overlooking beautiful lava and sand strewn beaches. Be sure to lock your car when you leave the parking lot, break-ins are reported from time to time.

Secret Cove or Pa’ako Beach

Something is not much of a secret if you can read about it in guidebooks – so I don’t think I’m in danger of revealing anyone’s private sanctuary here — after all, it’s not much of a secret when this is such a popular place to get married. Nevertheless Pa’ako Beach (pictured at right) bares the name “Secret Cove.”

Discover the Secret Cove by passing Big Beach in the South and then parking near the first telephone pole you see. Across the street from that pole is a wall with a hole large enough to walk through. Passing through it is like entering an enchanted tropical garden.

[Photo: Kaanapali Beach. Tony Faiola/Flickr]

Ten things to do when it rains on your vacation

by Annie Scott on Aug 3, 2010

Barbra Streisand gets it. Rain is the enemy.

I mean, yes, rain is important to our environment and makes all the beautiful things you see on a vacation possible, but when you only have a few days in paradise, rain can really spoil things. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where your dream day of biking or skydiving is canceled due to a torrential downpour, you get it. If you’ve ever come back from a week on an island without a tan … it’s just so sad, isn’t it?

Hurricane season in the Caribbean is upon us (June to November), and while that’s not likely to mean actual hurricanes, it does usually mean you’ll get some rain on your budget tropical excursions. Here are ten ideas to make your rained-in vacation days a little less disappointing. The important thing is to have fun and enjoy yourself anyway.

Ten things to do when it rains on your vacation:

1. Write postcards.

This is an excellent activity for the type-A among us. Writing postcards is potentially something you were going to do anyway, so doing it while it’s raining is actually a very clever use of time. Just try not to be too sad when you look at the front of the postcard and see that sun shining like a jerk.

2. Museums.

So, maybe you weren’t really planning to go a museum, but rain is a good excuse to go get yourself cultured up. If you were planning to visit a museum, this should be a no-brainer. Rain means “do your indoor activities today.” It’s like a message from the universe. A soggy, awful message, but a message nonetheless.

3. Library or lobby bar.

Many hotels and resorts have a library or lobby bar where guests instinctually gather when it rains. Strike up a conversation, make some new friends, have a margarita at 10 AM. Why not? It’s raining. All bets are off.

4. Sleep.

10 AM margaritas frequently lead to naps, and that’s okay. In fact, if you open your eyes in the morning and see rain from your hotel bed, why not sleep an extra hour or so — maybe it will be over when you get up. After all, vacation is about relaxing and rejuvenating, and catching up on all that sleep you missed this year is imperative. Imperative!

5. Games.

On a rainy day, get down to the gift shop early before they run out of decks of cards. Your hotel’s front desk may also have board games you can borrow, and if your hotel has a casino, there are a bunch of games to play there, too (albeit expensive ones). Don’t even try the game room; it will be overrun. Make up your own goofy games if you’re feeling especially restless. Sad photo ops in the rain can be a hilarious pastime.

6. Eat.

Rainy days are a perfect opportunity to dig into the local cuisine. Head into town in a rental car and try out some authentic eating establishments and grocery stores. You may be surprised at the strange food you find — and you might make one of your most lasting memories of the whole trip.

7. In-room movies.

If you’re someone who likes to get things done, why not knock a few titles off your Netflix list by curling up with the in-room movie selections? Rain can be a good excuse to watch movies you’d be embarrassed to go to or have in your home.

8. Theater.

Live theater? Quoi? Yes. Ask your hotel if there is any live theater in the vicinity and go check out a play, a concert or whatever’s playing. This can be an unexpected blessing; you may see an unforgettable performance or learn more about the local culture than you would have otherwise.

9. Spa.

See if any appointments are available at the spa. If there isn’t a spa on the property, the hotel can probably recommend a good one nearby. This may be the only option more relaxing and restorative than sleep.

10. Go out and enjoy the rain.

Can’t stay inside anymore? Then bundle yourself up (if it’s chilly) or put on your swimming suit (if it’s hot) and go play in the rain like a kid. Splash in the puddles, get messy and have fun. Don’t get in the pool if there’s lightning, and certainly don’t go out if the conditions are dangerous (like if there’s an actual hurricane going on), but playing in the rain can relieve the very angst the badly-timed stormy weather gives you.

SkyMall Monday: Top 10 pieces of spy gear

by Mike Barish on Jul 26, 2010

The world is a scary place. Heck, even the Cold War is heating up (er, cooling off?) again with Russian spies being kicked out of the US. It’s becoming harder and harder to trust anyone, even your family. Here in the SkyMall Monday headquarters, I trust Calvin the Garden Yeti and no one else. In these crazy times, it’s best to find out all the information you can on those around you, lest they try to steal your possessions, kidnap your children or take over your life like that crazy lady from Single White Female. Covert ops are not just for TV and the movies. You need to take matters into your own hands and do constant reconnaissance to be sure that you stay one step ahead of your wife, boyfriend, babysitter, coworker or daughter. Thankfully, SkyMall knows that your paranoia is justified and that a tinfoil hat is not enough to keep you safe from the people who want to steal your thoughts. They have 89(!!!) different items listed in their “Under Cover” spy and surveillance section. If that doesn’t validate your decision to spy on your loved ones, then just do it because it’s fun! This week, we take a look at the top 10 pieces of spy gear in SkyMall.Teddy Bear Hidden Camera – Pictured above, this innocent looking teddy bear houses a heat activated camera which will record your baby’s entire sweaty nap thanks to that handsome and thick wool cap. It also works on grown women who creepily dress like little girls.

Tie Spy Camera – What better way to spy on your coworkers than by placing a camera discreetly in your office attire? Of course, if you work as a lifeguard, you’ll want to make sure that the tie matches your swimsuit.

Cell Phone Spy Text Reader – This device lets you read deleted text messages and review deleted numbers from any cell phone that uses a SIM card. There’s no way your girlfriend can hide her affair – or her obsession with the Justin Bieber fan line – now.

ID Card Hidden Camera – Almost every office requires employees to keep an ID badge with them at all times. So what better way to hide your spy camera then behind that unflattering photo of that kind of makes you look like a pedophile? And, since everyone from your office park eats at the same Applebee’s, you can also use it to see who’s been spitting in your Wonton Tacos.

Tissue Box Internet Camera – The camera in this tissue box streams video directly to the web for you to watch in real time. If you see someone bring a bottle of moisturizer over to the tissues, it may be time to navigate to another website.

Panning Faux Security Camera – You’re not the only person who’s paranoid. Play on your friends’ fears by just making them think that they’re being watched. Now maybe they’ll stop leaving those bags of poop on your front porch.

Electric Outlet Hidden Camera – Since it’s motion-activated, you’ll get great footage of your unattended toddler approaching the outlet immediately before sticking a fork in it.

Wireless Color Mirror Camera – As the product description so poetically puts is, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, catch that burglar once and for all.” Assuming, of course, that the burglar stops in the bathroom to put on some of your makeup. Speaking of which, you look like a clown whore when you wear all that blush.

Cell Phone Voice Changer – I’ll defer to the product description on this one: “No one will recognize your voice with The Cell Phone Voice Changer. Easily change your voice from man to woman, woman to man, a child’s voice, or even a robot–and it will sound completely real and natural.” Now you can call your ex and use that completely real and natural robot voice. She’ll be none the wiser.

Ultra Spy Hearing Ear Muffs – Hear every conversation going on around you while blending into the environment with your massive headphones with two microphones prominently attached to each ear.

Of course, what you do with this equipment is your business. Gadling in no way, shape or form condones you violating any privacy laws or statutes when spying on people. I assume you’ll be using these tools for educational purposes. Though, if I see you in the gym locker room in nothing but a tie, I’m going to punch you in the throat.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.