SkyMall Monday: Travel Bidet

Everyone experiences lulls at their job. Work is not always as rewarding as we want it to be. But, from time to time, something happens that reinvigorates us. Something that energizes and excites us about what we do for a living and makes us proud again. I’m experiencing such a resurgence this week. Why? Well, this week’s SkyMall Monday may be the most important ever. Because this week we’re featuring a product that every single person needs to own. A product that may very well solve all of our problems. A product that will cleanse us from the inside out. Yes, my friends, SkyMall once again will purify us and allow us to tackle any obstacle that life puts in our way. I love my job again, people, because I get to share this fantastic information with you. Information that will hit us with a blast of cool, refreshing and disinfecting energy. So, take a seat. Or, even better, squat. Because this week we’re taking a long hard look at the Sanicare Travel Bidet.
We all know how to wipe our own asses (at least I hope so because I shake a lot of hands everyday). But are we really getting clean? I mean, the French clean up using bidets and who are more well known for their hygiene than the French? But a large porcelain plumbing fixture is too cumbersome to take with you. So, how can you inject some water into your filthy backdoor when you’re out and about? Well, just take a look at that picture up there and I think you’ll realize that all of our problems have been solved.

Once again I will rely solely on the product description. The clever plays on words, quotation mark usage and wealth of information will surely convince you that you need this product:

Enjoy the confidence of the fresh and clean feeling of a cleansing bidet wherever you “go”.

See what they did there? Yeah, I’m talking about putting the period outside of the quotation marks. Idiots.

Your Travel Bidet is ready to go, just open the box and install the included AA battery, then when you are ready to use it… “just add water”.

Do I really add water or are the quotation marks insinuating some sort of innuendo?

Traveling means a lot of compromising and unexpected changes from our daily routine. Changes in eating habits, fluid intake, schedules and personal hygiene all affect our comfort level, which can affect our performance and self-confidence in important business and social functions.

And perhaps no change is more unexpected than your new habit of keeping a travel bidet in your briefcase.

Finally, we can all have damp asses and awkward conversations with airport security. It’s about time we as a people cleaned up our acts. And now we can with dignity and pride.

So, if you want to love your job as much as I love mine, start taking a travel bidet with you to work everyday. It may just be the second best injection of liquid into your person you experience all day.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.