Galley Gossip: The problem with “soaring” ticket prices

Remember what airline tickets used to cost? Oh no, I’m not talking about last year, go back a little bit further, okay a lot further, like 1950 further…remember those prices? I didn’t think so.

A couple years ago I went just a wee bit crazy, spending too much time (and money) on eBay bidding on airline ads from the 1960’s and 1970’s. They were big and bright and colorful and they said things like: “fly me,” “just a working girl working,” “think of her as your mother.” They were sexy and sexist, totally wrong, and yet so right — at the time. I loved them. Still do. Had them framed. Hung them on the wall. And then, last year, tucked them away in a drawer for safe keeping (and a clutter free office). I think of one of those ads often whenever I hear people complaining about the price of airline tickets, or whenever I read articles like the one by Dan Reed in USA TODAY entitled “Airline Tickets Soar This Summer” that was featured on AOL with the caption, “Passengers Can’t Bear to Look.”

Well I’ve got something for those passengers to look at, something that may force them to rethink the definition of soaring ticket prices. I mean, soaring? Don’t you think we’re being a bit dramatic here? Especially when people are willing to spend hundreds of dollars on fast food, botox, designer clothes, and even video games for the kids. Give me a break. Because the ad, the one I mentioned above from 1950, lists the price of a ticket from New York to Paris for $326. Please, can anyone tell me, what else out there costs the exact same price as it did over fifty years ago?

Precisely.

Yeah, I know, service in the air has gone down hill big time. You don’t have to tell me. I live it every time I put on my uniform. In fact, I spend most of my time at work apologizing because we don’t have this and we don’t have that to a flight full of miserably cramped passengers. I feel for those passengers. I really do. It’s gotten bad out there. Worse than bad. Flying, today, is just not what it used to be, for everyone involved – passengers and crew alike.

But what gets me is that thirteen years ago I worked at a no frills airline called Sunjet International Airlines. The ticket price back then was $99 to fly one way from Dallas to Fort Lauderdale, Newark, or Long Beach. That was thirteen years ago. Fuel prices were 1/3 of what they are today. Keep in mind that price was on an airline that offered pretty much nothing but a seat (a broken seat covered in duct tape), a lot of delays (I’m not talking a few hours delayed, I’m talking two-day delays), lost luggage (or no luggage at all. What do you mean you checked bags?), and a burnt chocolate chip cookie, depending on who happened to be in the galley that day. Then, in 1995, I found myself working for a major US carrier, on probation for six months without flight privileges, in the month of December. The price of a ticket from New York to Dallas was oh just $800. In Coach. Needless to say, I didn’t get make it home for Christmas that year.

Now flash forward thirteen years and you can fly nonstop on a major carrier from New York to Los Angeles for as little as $235 round trip. I’m sorry, but that’s not bad. In fact, it’s so not bad that I just bought myself a seat on that same flight (even though I’m able to fly standby for free) I challenge anyone to drive that same distance for less money. Yes, airline ticket prices are up 200% from last year, but when you realize they were down 700%, that’s still a good ticket price! So when someone writes a piece about the “soaring” ticket prices of today, I have to shake my head and think, how soon we all forget.

More U.S. passport regulations coming soon

Are you one of the many Americans that still don’t have a passport? Shame on you. But being shamed by some random travel blog on the Internets is the least of your worries, especially if you plan on re-entering the U.S. by land, ferry, or small boat.

According to USA Today, those re-entering after January 30th “must carry either a passport or a government-issued photo ID plus proof of citizenship such as a birth or naturalization certificate.”

I’m surprised this is just now happening. You’d think having the correct documentation is common sense, but I’m sure they’ve had people show up with things like a Macy’s card and a picture of their uncle in front of the Statue of Liberty trying to get across. What? This doesn’t prove anything?

Turnaround time for passports ranges from four to six weeks, so get a move on it.

Yummiest First Class meals

I just knew it would make me upset, but nonetheless, I couldn’t resist checking out a USA Today article entitled, Best First Class Meals.

And, as I suspected, I’m going to glare at the soggy $7 coach sandwich with even more disdain the next time I fly. That’s because those jerks up in First Class are basking in culinary Nirvana–at least on Gulf Air and Cathay Pacific. These two airlines snagged the top spots in an annual survey of the world’s best First Class meals.

And how did they earn such accolades? Try private chefs, caviar, Dom Perignon, made-to-order eggs, multi-course meals, specialties such as “honey glazed quail on a sweet potato cake,” and “Arabic spiced veal ragout,” and meals served on bone china.

If you really want to torture yourself, check out the accompanying Forbes slide show. It’s guaranteed to make your mouth water and possibly cause you to storm First Class in a daring food raid armed only with a stale baguette and a gnawing hunger.

Excuses for traveling: the marathon

USA Today published a list of 10 warm-weather winter marathons, and reading the article got me thinking about how running a marathon makes a great excuse to travel. My friend went to Paris because she chose the Paris Marathon on a whim, and the Honolulu Marathon has been whispering my name for a few winters now.

I’ve considered training for a “vacation marathon” before; I figure the training will keep me in shape through the Alaskan winter, and I’ll get to visit someplace warm and maybe actually feel somewhat attractive in a bikini (running a minimum of 30 miles a week helps the bikini bod).

But there are a few potential problems to consider before you start busting out your Sunday long runs. For me, the biggest problem is training in cold weather and trying to race in warm weather. I don’t know the science of it, but what I do know is that in the past few years I’ve started overheating whenever I go for a run at my parents’ home in Seattle. Seattle. I can’t imagine how my body would respond to the heat of the tropics or the desert.

My other problem involves training in Alaska. Sometimes the weather here in Seward just plain sucks. The mere thought of having to put in a 15-mile run at any time during last week’s freezing rain downpour is enough to keep me safely tucked in my cozy bed with my laptop and some Sex and the City DVDs.

Of course, surviving winter up here generally requires you to force yourself to exercise, so the goal of a vacation marathon has the double result of keeping you in shape while rewarding you with a warm vacation. Unfortunately, I didn’t get myself motivated early enough and at this point I’m not sure I could start a hardcore training regime. So for me this year, it looks like a 5-miler in Florida over Christmas vacation and a lot of step-aerobics at the gym.

Maybe I’ll run that marathon next winter.

Foreigners get warm welcome from Disney video

When the U.S. State Department decided foreigners needed a friendly welcome upon entering the country, they turned to Disney. Disney has long been active in lobbying efforts for more welcoming treatment of foreign visitors, and has expressed concern about the USA’s declining share of international travelers. The company produced the video free of charge.

The short film is a montage of still scenes of the “American life.” Naturally it’s warm and fuzzy. There’s no dialogue, just smiling people repeating the word “welcome.” USA Today also reports that “viewers will see dramatic images of American icons like the Statue of Liberty and the Las Vegas Strip. They’ll also see ordinary cities and farms as well as sweeping outdoor vistas. The video has no shots of Disney property.”

You can view a clip of the video here, or visit some 219 consular offices or airports with customs facilities.