A 20-year-old Romanian man is lucky to be alive after he was discovered hidden inside the rear wheel compartment of a jet arriving this week in London. The stowaway, who was apparently looking for work, braved low oxygen and outside air temperatures during the flight as low as 40 below zero. Upon his discovery at London’s Heathrow Airport, he was covered in bruises and showing signs of hypothermia, but thankfully still alive.
How exactly did a man manage to sneak inside a plane? And how did he make it through the experience? It turns out through a remarkable mix of luck, daring and stupidity. The man apparently climbed under a fence at Vienna’s Schwechat airport, hiding himself beneath a private jet that had been parked there since last week. He also lucked out with the flight plan – the plane had to fly at a lower-than-normal altitude to avoid bad weather, allowing the man to survive what would normally be a fatal combination of cold and lack of air.
UK authorities were surprised by the man’s unexpected arrival, though they declined to press charges. As Romania is part of the European Union, the “passenger” was technically allowed to visit on holiday. He was cautioned and freed with no further action. Frankly, this traveler is lucky to have survived the ordeal, let alone gotten off without legal action.
Next time you’re ready to complain about that horrible experience on your last flight, you might want to think again. Somebody out there has definitely had it much worse.
If you don’t live in Vienna, you might consider moving there.
A new survey lists the top 50 cities for quality of life and Vienna comes out as number one. The survey, conducted by Mercer, a human resources consultancy firm, looked at criteria such as infrastructure, economy, housing, recreation, personal and press freedom, and education. Vienna certainly scores high in all that, plus it has historic neighborhoods and cool clocks. It’s just a shame the Toilet Bar had to change its decor.
The top ten cities are:
Vienna
Zurich
Geneva
Vancouver
Auckland
Dusseldorf
Frankfurt
Munich
Bern
Sydney
European cities dominate the top fifty. No U.S. city shows up until number 31 (Honolulu) followed by San Francisco (32), Boston (37), Chicago and Washington (tied at 45), New York City (49) and Seattle coming in surprisingly low at 50. Canada did much better with Vancouver at number 4, Ottawa at 14, Toronto at 16, Montreal at 21, and Calgary at 28.
Mercer actually surveyed 221 cities, with Baghdad scoring dead last. Go figure. They also listed the most eco-friendly cities, with Calgary taking the top spot.
Image of Cafe Central, Vienna courtesy Andreas Praefcke via Wikimedia Commons.
The Funeral Service Institute of Vienna is responsible for most of the city’s undertaking. They will cremate you, find you your ideal coffin or even have you turned into a diamond. Whatever your needs after death may be, they can probably accommodate you.
They also happen to have a museum, which is open to the public but viewable by appointment only. I would highly recommend making an appointment, as you’ll get a €4.50 personal tour (€2.50 for larger groups) from the museum’s delightfully enthusiastic curator, Dr. Wittigo Keller. The exhibit is truly fascinating. From their funeral customs to their beliefs about death, the Viennese have an intriguing cultural perspective on the big sleep.
There is currently very little English-language information available about the Museum of the Funeral Service Institute of Vienna, so I’m delighted to be the first to take you on a virtual tour. Let’s start with the sitting-up coffin above.
%Gallery-88625%The Sitting-Up Coffin
Jacques-Louis David famously painted this portrait of Madame Récamier, then this coffin to go around her. Keller, the curator of The Museum of the Funeral Service Institute of Vienna (FSIV), created this coffin for a European funeral fair (which happens every three years). “It’s not practical,” he noted. Bodies must legally be buried six feet underground (below the freezing line), so one would have to dig several feet deeper to bury this coffin. Still, for the right price, he could says they could make it work.
The sitting-up coffin was one of the first things we saw at the museum, and it set the stage for an intellectual and curious look into death, rather than one filled with dread. The initial willies were shaken off, and we began discussing the new trend of creating diamonds out of the deceased’s ashes.
Diamonds Made of Dead People
You may have heard of LifeGem or another company which does this. People have been making diamonds synthetically for years (all you need is carbon, heat and pressure), and making a diamond from someone’s ashes, to some, is a beautiful way to give them metaphorical “eternal life.” Most diamonds created from human ashes are light blue, due to the chemicals in our bodies, but in the cases of people who’ve been through extensive medical treatments, the color can be different. Some companies will add chemicals post-mortum and allow you to make the diamond any color you like, but the FSIV doesn’t do that. Keller reports that it takes about 8 months to turn human ashes into a diamond, and the price for a quarter carat is about €4,680 (€14,440 for a full carat). It’s something to think about, because unless you put your desire to become a diamond in your will, your loved ones probably won’t come up with the idea.
Wearing Grandma’s ashes in a diamond necklace isn’t really any stranger than keeping her on the mantle.
Funeral Fashion
Next, we headed into a room filled with black outfits for all the various officiants in historical Viennese funerals. In addition to black, funerals in Vienna could feature red paraphernalia for military men, and for children, youths and anyone unmarried, much of the black regalia would be light blue. Keller joked that a light blue funeral meant that you were “a complete loser in this life and the next,” and added that if you’re not married, you’d best not die in Vienna.
From about 1850 to about 1930, what mourning women wore to funerals in Vienna was an extremely important matter. Every October, newspapers would publish what the proper style for funerals would be that year, and if women were spotted in last year’s style, it reflected very poorly on them and their families. Naturally, it became possible to rent the appropriate dress to wear to a funeral — in fact, this is still practiced in Vienna. Just as you might rent a gown for a ball, you can rent a mourning dress for an important funeral. Jewelry was also regulated by the annual October announcement, and Keller says that this was actually the origin of costume jewelry.
After Death Certification
Next, we headed into a room of what Keller called “rescue alarm clocks.” Production of these began around 1854 when there was mass hype about the possibility that you could seem dead and be buried, and then suddenly wake up — buried alive. There were many, many different contraptions you could purchase to prevent this horrifying fate. For example: the double-sided knife, which specially licensed doctors would stab into your heart to ensure that you were dead (you can still request this, and he says old ladies in particular sometimes do, €300), known as “after death certification.” Another rescue alarm clock was quite literally an alarm, which he demonstrated for us:
That rope would have led from a coffin directly into the dining room of the cemetery-keeper. That’s a dinner party foul.
Cultural Differences
Next, we looked at some antique children’s funeral toys, which really confused me at first. Basically, Keller explained, a funeral is viewed like a wedding, or any other important passage, and children must be taught how to behave before they can attend. So, from a very young age, children would be given funeral toys to play with so that they could learn the proper procedures and not be afraid.
On the whole, death in Vienna is regarded as a far less scary affair. Perhaps it’s because of the toys, or perhaps it’s because Austrians save money — some their whole lives — for their funerals. Farmers would buy their coffins during a good year when they had the cash and paint it to match their furniture, then use it as a bookshelf or wardrobe until they, you know, needed it. Having a savings account for your funeral or a coffin in your living room probably helps you get used to the idea of dying. “Old Viennese folk songs are all about wine and death,” said Keller. “Death goes with you to the wine tavern and follows you home at night; it’s your best friend.”
The funeral is regarded as a festival, a goodbye party. People save their whole lives to throw a good one, so that they will be remembered for that last great party they gave. “You should tell people they can learn to die in Vienna,” said Keller with a cheeky smile.
Final Details
As I mentioned, you can only visit the Museum of the FSIV by appointment, so to make one, call 501-95-4227 (country code 43) or ask your concierge. If your German’s pretty good, you can get more information here on the website. Alternatively, if you should happen to be in Vienna on the Long Night of the Museums (the first Saturday in October, when museums stay open late), you can test out the coffins. Literally. They’ll put you in a coffin, close it, and leave you there until you knock. According to Keller, last year, 1,500 people did just that. The oldest was an 88-year-old woman. “The girls are much braver than the boys,” he noted cheerfully.
My visit to Vienna was sponsored by the Vienna Tourist Board and Cool Capitals, but the opinions expressed in the article are 100% my own.
I don’t know your life, but I do know you need to eat sausage in Vienna. If you are a vegetarian, I get that, and there are options for you at some of the finer purveyors, so you are included in this. Weiner schnitzel is delicious and all, but it actually originated in Milan. You should probable have a Sacher Torte at some point, but none of this negates the fact that you absolutely must eat some sausage — or wurst, as they call it — in Vienna. You have to.
Overview
Sausage in Vienna is the customary fast food. It’s what people eat on the go or when it’s a nice day for hanging around outside at one of the stands. The Viennese go for sausages after the opera, on their lunch breaks, before clubbing, after clubbing, and basically anytime they feel a little peckish. It’s delicious. It’s protein. It’s sausage, all day, readily available, whenever you want it.
Sausages in Vienna are generally served sliced up and with mini forks. You will be asked whether you’d prefer a roll or bread with your sausage, and from what I understand, the correct response is “bread” (makes you sound like you know what you’re doing). Also, you will uniformly be given mustard, even if you’ve ordered currywurst (sausage doused in curry powder). If you’d prefer a different sauce, you can certainly ask, but you’ll probably look silly. The appropriate beverage to consume with your wurst is a beer — and yes, it is perfectly acceptable to drink beer in the street in Vienna. Nobody does it much, at least not further than a few yards from a sausage stand, but it is, in fact, legal. I found this to be a killer cheap thrill:
Not all sausage is made equal. There are three particularly well-known sausage slingers in Vienna. Two are stands, and one is a micro-restaurant with some crazy, inventive flavors and art from local university students. We’ll cover that one first.Kiosk
Kiosk is the city’s best-known indoor sausage stand (for lack of a better term). The cozy corner shop has a Lower East Side, NYC vibe, from the layout to the music to the staff. The blackboard serves as the menu, and you can order sausage, wine, beer and bread, and a few other options are available in case you go with lame friends. There is a vegetarian sausage option here, but the true star of the menu is the “Bosna.” Kiosk is notoriously tight-lipped about how they make their sausages, and which kinds are made of what, but you know what? We don’t really want to know how sausage is made, do we? No. In addition to their well-beloved Bosna, their currywurst is also extraordinary, and probably the best sausage I’ve ever had anywhere.
Kiosk also, as I mentioned, displays art work by local art students. In the gallery, you’ll see a photo of the current display of portraits. Each one is available for just 100 euros, in case you’re interested in investing in promising young artists, or would like a piece of local art for a souvenir.
The One By the Albertina
The Albertina is a historical museum/event space which we’re not going to talk about; we’re going to talk about the legendary sausage stand outside of it. Also known as “the one behind the State Opera,” this stand offers all the standard sausage fare, and the patronage is half the fun. You’ll see everyone from slumming students to opera-goers in full evening gowns at this stand, drinking beer and eating sausage with mini forks. You can try sausages of the same names at stands all over Vienna, but this one just packs a little extra magic.
The One by the Bermuda Triangle
Did you know there’s a Bermuda Triangle in Vienna? There is; it’s what they call their confusing little district of clubs just off the city center in the northern part of the Ring. While it’s not a “cool” area, it’s always full of clubbers and drunken teens wandering around and getting lost (thus the name). There’s an especially good sausage stand right in front of it to serve said houligans, and you don’t have to walk through any complicated streets to get there from the main drag; it’s on the southern part of the area. By day or night, you’ll find some of Vienna’s tastiest offerings here, and if you map out your day correctly, it fits perfectly into a shopping or sightseeing schedule.
Check out the gallery below for more pics of these sausage destinations and, of course, more sausage.
%Gallery-88621% My visit to Vienna was sponsored by the Vienna Tourist Board and Cool Capitals, but the opinions expressed in the article are 100% my own.
Every day at noon, folks in-the-know gather in front of the Anchor Clock (above) in Vienna, Austria.
There is no exciting maritime story behind this clock’s name; Der Anker just happened to be the insurance company to which it is attached. Back in the early 1900s, Derk Anker had bought themselves two buildings which were right next door to each other and wanted a meaningful way to connect them. What could be more meaningful than an animated clock? (Don’t answer that.)
That’s right, it’s animated. This clock was built by Franz Matsch between 1911 and 1917 and it features 12 full minutes of extremely slow entertainment. The character you see in front of the clock face is one of many historical figures, and they rotate all day long, very slowly, each at his or her own appointed hour. At noon, they all cycle through once while classical, Viennese-composed music plays for twelve minutes. From what I hear, even the music is the same as it was over a hundred years ago.
Here’s a two-minute snippet of the rotation:
You get the idea. It’s not exactly like watching paint dry, but it’s closer to that than, say, watching Die Hard.
It might have been a lot more exciting a hundred years ago, but it’s still fun to gather with the crowd and watch the Anchor Clock.
My visit to Vienna was sponsored by the Vienna Tourist Board and Cool Capitals, but the opinions expressed in the article are 100% my own.
