Boot camp yourself to wedding-dress thin

Any man should know better than to talk about women and weight … especially when it comes to fitting into a wedding dress. But, this idea is interesting enough that I’m willing to risk my safety. Live in Fitness Enterprises has put together “The Bridal Retreat,” which is not as innocuous as it sounds. If you’re worried about looking good for your groom in a two-piece on the honeymoon or need to drop some serious pounds for the big day, they’ll get you into fighting shape.

This “boot camp for brides” situates the victims participants in luxurious one-bedroom suites, with inspiring Los Angeles ocean views. It’s the perfect scene to which to crawl back after putting in your time with fitness expert Eric Viskoicz. After a series of fitness assessments, brides receive custom itineraries that include training sessions, meetings with nutritionists, motivational speeches and tailored meals.

Sounds nice, right?

Well, training starts every day at 8 AM and runs for 11 hours. Meals are served “every couple of hours” – between hiking, kickboxing bouts, spinning, water aerobics and other activities designed to make the fat melt away.

No pain, no gain. Remember, the pictures from your wedding will follow you for the rest of your life.