Airport food nastier than airline food

by Tom Johansmeyer on

And you thought airline food was nasty …

Airport restaurants have been spanked hundreds of times over the past year for food safety violations, according to a USA Today review of inspection records. Check it out – close to 800 restaurants in 10 airports had tuna and turkey sandwiches that weren’t kept cold enough, raw meat getting a little too chummy with ready-to-eat meals, rat droppings and kitchens that didn’t have soap for employee hand-washing.

Blech.

Yea, it gets nastier. Forty-two percent of the 57 restaurants at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport were found to have at least one “critical” violation each. At Reagan National Airport, it was even more disgusting: 77 percent of 35 restaurants. These were violations of a caliber that make the risk of illness common.

JFK, apparently, isn’t so bad. According to the New York City health department, “Restaurants at JFK have had relatively few problems with rodents in comparison to restaurants citywide.”

That’s one hell of a vote of confidence!

[Photo by asplosh via Flickr]

NYC best city for singles (if you own a computer)

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Looking for love lust on your next vacation? Your next trip should be to New York, which has knocked Atlanta out of the top spot as the best city in the country for singles. And, why wouldn’t it? You have more than 8 million people chasing their dreams, so the choices are endless. There’s one of everything, so in one night, you could meet every flavor of scumbag available. But, there’s an upside to all this variety, so don’t give up hope yet!

Atlanta fell to the sixth position, with Boston, Chicago, Seattle and Washington, D.C. occupying the second through fifth spots in this annual survey by Forbes.com. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Milwaukee and Philadelphia round out the top 10.

This is New York’s first time in the #1 spot, which evaluates 40 of the largest cities in the United States for “coolness, cost of living alone, culture, job growth, online dting, nightlife, and ratio of singles to the entire population.” Notably absent are: willingness of hot girls in that city to talk to you, cost of buying several drinks for someone genuinely out of your league and adult bookstores nearby to help you when you strike out yet again.

Well … I think New York would win on that one, too.

What pushed New York into the winners circle, apparently, was the number of people with online dating accounts. The city has more people hitting the web to scratch their various itches than any other city in the country.

Sexologist has carry-on inspected, TSA keeps cool

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Robocop sets off alarms. Of course, this “Robocop” is the nickname sexologist David Steinberg has for an 8-inch solid brass sex toy. Even a TSA official could see that one coming. This device was stored safely at home, but Steinberg’s bag of goodies still attracted inspector attention at the airport in Seattle.

For once, it may have been prudent to respond, “No,” when asked if the security official could inspect the contents of the bag.

An older, serious women had to sift through nipple clamps, a butt plug, condoms, personal lubricants and other implements of Steinberg’s trade. Truly a committed professional, her facial expression did not change during the entire ordeal. Some of the other passengers working their way through security took notice, undoubtedly thinking that these are the very devices the TSA uses if it summons you into one of those “special” rooms for a more thorough search.

Most of these professional tools are deemed fine for the flight, though a whip with a 6-inch metal handle doesn’t pass the test. The security guard claims it’s a weapon, probably not realizing that that isn’t its intent. I guess it could be used as one, though the owner correctly describes it as a toy (conveniently omitting the word “adult” from the exchange).

Encouraged by the suggestion that he check it as a separate piece of luggage, Steinberg dashed over to the ticket agent to make his move. She was a bit more aware of the device but declined an offer of explanation. The whip was checked successfully, and Steinberg went on his way.

So, the next time you pack your carry-on, remember to consider the contents carefully. Steinberg’s a comfortable pro, but you may not be ready to have your belongings put on display.