Seasoned travelers know that the world is full of wonders as well as occasional hazards like political unrest, diarrhea and of course, monkey attacks. Harmless and cute as they seem to tourists, these are wild animals that are not to be taken for granted.
In 2007, SS Bajwa, Indian deputy mayor of New Delhi, was killed after falling from a terrace while fighting off an angry mob of monkeys. Typically more of a problem in South Asia (India, Thailand) where Hanuman – the Hindu “monkey god” – is particularly revered, attacks by monkeys are on the rise. Luckily, most monkey attacks are more benign, or at least less lethal.
After reviewing the following collection of kung-fu chimps, playful gibbons, and roving monkey pickpocket gangs, certain “travel tips” become self-evident. Don’t provoke them. Don’t give them knives. And don’t, under any circumstances, feed the monkeys, unless you’re attempting to exchange your Ray Bans for a piece of bread. As further warning, we’ve uncovered ten monkey attack videos featured below. Don’t let this happen to you!
1) Monkeys attack Dane
Entitled “Wheee!” Or, “Dane gratuitously provokes the monkeys until they swarm him.” Make sure to watch until :55 when Dane has to run for his life as he’s chased by a pack of crazed primates:
2) Don’t pet the monkey.
Unless you’re looking to be chased by a monkey.
3) Monkey vs. Dog
J’excuse the commentary. Truly a ninja among monkeys.
4) Baggage handlers
Searching for methods of mass destruction. If only my own baggage handlers were so kind.
Containment is the best recourse.
6) West Side Story
Don’t give them knives. Really, don’t. Ever. Give. Them. Knives. Stupid and cruel.
When I was in India, late 70’s, I mistakenly assumed that they were being trained to steal shiny items for delivery to an “overlord.” Now I suspect that they simply evolved, learning to take and hold various items in exchange for “food.”
8) Nice hair clip
Such as this. Hmm, nice hair clip. Give Wonder Bread. I give clip.
9) Get a room
I’m not sure what he’s getting at there, beyond the obvious. She appears to be enjoying it.
Texas. This is where it all begins, really.