Crushing things is hard (unless you have superhumanly strong hands). When it comes to pills, I’ve used everything from hammers to books to steamrollers to grind them into a fine powder for
snorting sprinkling over my dog’s food. Whether your dog (or child or spouse or guy you just met in an alley) is elderly, sick or just needs a good buzz, it’s easier to get pills into his system if you crush them beyond recognition. Here at SkyMall Monday, we prefer to crush our hopes and dreams rather than pills, but we were intrigued when we saw this week’s SkyMall product. We’re all for experimentation here at the ol’ HQ, so our minds have been racing with ideas for how to best put this bad boy to use. That’s why this week we’re looking at the top 5 things to crush with the Quick and Easy Pill Grinder.First, let’s take a quick look at the product description:
Our new Quick and Easy Pill Grinder grinds one or more tablets into a powder with the turning of a handle so that pet medication can be mixed in food or in a liquid and given more easily. The convenient hand-held device reduces the medication to a fine quick-dissolving powder in seconds and deposits it into a snap-in cup to make it easy when there is difficulty in swallowing or administering the tablet.
It’s the modern science of pharmaceuticals mixed with good old-fashioned hand crank power. It’s like making meth in a butter churn.
Now, on to the best things to crush.
Whether it’s your kid’s Ritalin, black market Oxycontin or maybe just some Imodium after a particularly grueling Thai meal, it’s way more fun to take pills in powder form. Snort ’em, sprinkle them over some homemade granola or use them to season your favorite tomato sauce recipe. No matter what you do with your powdered pills, you’re bound to have more fun than your doctor recommended.
Why buy Pixy Stix when you can make your own? Grind up some SweeTarts and create your own bold flavor combinations. This can also double as Fun Dip so long as you have a piece of chalk to use as the spoon.
3. Bang Snaps
You remember bang snaps, right? They’re the little fireworks that pop when you throw them on the ground. You’re bound to make your neighbors poop their beds when you grind a handful of these tiny nostalgic fun bags.
Homemade wine, here we come!
1. Dippin’ Dots
This has nothing to do with the end product and everything to do with Dippin’ Dots finally being punished for their heinous crimes against dessert. No one likes Dippin’ Dots. Given the choice between real ice cream and Dippin’ Dots, have you ever heard someone say, “Oh, yes, give me those dry, unsatisfying, nearly tasteless balls of unknown chemical makeup that were flash frozen in liquid nitrogen by some kid trying to win a science fair”? For too long we’ve remained silent as Dippin’ Dots invade our baseball stadiums, county fairs and monster truck rallies. It’s time to rise up and crush these balls with some crank force!
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.