SkyMall Monday: Top 5 things to crush with the Quick and Easy Pill Grinder

Crushing things is hard (unless you have superhumanly strong hands). When it comes to pills, I’ve used everything from hammers to books to steamrollers to grind them into a fine powder for snorting sprinkling over my dog’s food. Whether your dog (or child or spouse or guy you just met in an alley) is elderly, sick or just needs a good buzz, it’s easier to get pills into his system if you crush them beyond recognition. Here at SkyMall Monday, we prefer to crush our hopes and dreams rather than pills, but we were intrigued when we saw this week’s SkyMall product. We’re all for experimentation here at the ol’ HQ, so our minds have been racing with ideas for how to best put this bad boy to use. That’s why this week we’re looking at the top 5 things to crush with the Quick and Easy Pill Grinder.First, let’s take a quick look at the product description:

Our new Quick and Easy Pill Grinder grinds one or more tablets into a powder with the turning of a handle so that pet medication can be mixed in food or in a liquid and given more easily. The convenient hand-held device reduces the medication to a fine quick-dissolving powder in seconds and deposits it into a snap-in cup to make it easy when there is difficulty in swallowing or administering the tablet.

It’s the modern science of pharmaceuticals mixed with good old-fashioned hand crank power. It’s like making meth in a butter churn.

Now, on to the best things to crush.

5. Pills

Whether it’s your kid’s Ritalin, black market Oxycontin or maybe just some Imodium after a particularly grueling Thai meal, it’s way more fun to take pills in powder form. Snort ’em, sprinkle them over some homemade granola or use them to season your favorite tomato sauce recipe. No matter what you do with your powdered pills, you’re bound to have more fun than your doctor recommended.

4. SweeTarts

Why buy Pixy Stix when you can make your own? Grind up some SweeTarts and create your own bold flavor combinations. This can also double as Fun Dip so long as you have a piece of chalk to use as the spoon.

3. Bang Snaps

You remember bang snaps, right? They’re the little fireworks that pop when you throw them on the ground. You’re bound to make your neighbors poop their beds when you grind a handful of these tiny nostalgic fun bags.

2. Grapes

Homemade wine, here we come!

1. Dippin’ Dots

This has nothing to do with the end product and everything to do with Dippin’ Dots finally being punished for their heinous crimes against dessert. No one likes Dippin’ Dots. Given the choice between real ice cream and Dippin’ Dots, have you ever heard someone say, “Oh, yes, give me those dry, unsatisfying, nearly tasteless balls of unknown chemical makeup that were flash frozen in liquid nitrogen by some kid trying to win a science fair”? For too long we’ve remained silent as Dippin’ Dots invade our baseball stadiums, county fairs and monster truck rallies. It’s time to rise up and crush these balls with some crank force!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Photo of the Day (09.17.10)

I often wonder if grapes in California aspire to become wine or raisins. To become wine means to be a part of the illustrious California wine country industry. To become a raisin is to follow in the footsteps on the California Raisins. Is one accomplishment more prestigious than the other? Sure, maybe some grapes just want to be grapes. That, to me, seems to be setting the bar low.

I was reminded of this debate when I saw this photo by Flickr user (and our Gadling overlord) Willy Volk. Taken at a vineyard in Healdsburg, California, it reminded me of just how much promise grapes hold. They can be dried to give us fiber or stomped to get us drunk. Grapes: Dreams waiting to be fulfilled. Or, you know, just tiny fruit.

Have a picture of fruit from your trip? Or just some great travel photos? Submit your images to Gadling’s Flickr group and we might use one for a future Photo of the Day.

Exploring the Illinois wine trail

When people think about American wine, the region that comes to mind is the West Coast. And that makes sense – the majority of wine production in the United States does take place in California, Oregon and Washington. What many people don’t realize is that America is the fourth-largest wine producing country in the world, right behind the major heavyweights of France, Spain and Italy.

American wine is far more than just the West Coast. With a wide range of climates and soils, from arid to wet, rocky hills and grasslands, U.S. wineries produce a vast variety of wines from our more than one million planted acres and over three thousand commercial wineries. Napa Valley is peerless, but chances are, no matter what region of the country you’re in, there’s a wine trail or vineyard not far from you just waiting to be explored.

Illinois wine is just such an example. With a climate hospitable to wine production – some of the southern regions closely match certain climates found in Spain and Italy – there are over eighty different wineries operating in this state alone. That’s no reason to feel overwhelmed, though. This short guide will point you in the direction of a few of the ‘must-see’ wineries in Illinois. Keep reading below to see where…

Chicago and Region
Most of the Illinois’ grapes are grown downstate, but with so much of the population crowded into Chicago, there’s a huge market for wine, and a conscientious thirst for local product.

  • Glunz Family Winery and Cellars – Glunz is the main supplier of the seasonal, cold-weather wine Glogg. Most everywhere one goes in the city, if the restaurant is serving Glogg, it’s most likely from Glunz. The owner, Joe Glunz Jr., is very actively involved and has a love for Port. He’s most proud of his 1992 vintage, and he’ll happily put it up against it’s Portuguese counterparts.
  • Wild Blossom Meadery and Winery – On the far south side of the city, Wild Blossom works to produce one of the oldest beverages in the world. Mead, a specialty wine made from honey, is crafted here using the output from local beehives. Billing itself as one of the world’s most sustainable winemakers, this wine shows up on the shelves of organic retailers like Whole Foods. Wild Blossom’s “Meadery” also offers winemaking classes, supplies and tastings.
  • Vintner’s Cellar – A new trend in wine, Vintner’s Cellar is a franchise that allows the customer to craft their own personalized vintage. Using flavoring agents that simulate the aging process, customers can create as few as 24 bottles of custom wines however they like. An employee tells us that engaged couples like to create their own wines for their weddings. Locations usually have tastings as well.

Galena, Illinois
Galena is a picturesque town to the west along the Mississippi river, popular as an overnight destination for city-weary Chicagoans. Very different from the flat lands of northeastern Illinois, the Galena’s rolling hills work in the winemaker’s favor.

  • Galena Cellars Winery and Vineyard – Galena Cellars rules this region, with several locations in the area. Wine tastings at their Galena shops are common, and vineyard tours are available not far from town. Want to stumble instead of drive home? Stay in a cabin or room at the vineyard. Galena Cellars shines when it comes to sweet dessert wines, and their Choclat du Vin took home a gold medal from the Illinois State Fair.
  • Famous Fossil – In operation for only about six years now, Famous Fossil is heady when it comes to wine. Prizing what’s been termed their wine’s “somewhereness,” the husband and wife team crafting wine here want you to taste the land itself in each barrel they make. As the weather warms up, their chilled Fossil Rock White, with it’s blend of four different regional grapes, should be a perfect complement to the summer heat.

Utica, Illinois
Utica is a small town just at the edge of one of Illinois’ most beautiful state parks, Starved Rock. The former factory town would be nearly overshadowed by the husk of the industrial mill here, if not for the variety of sweet shops, antique malls, hotels and wineries catering to those visiting Starved Rock.

  • August Hill – A bit of big-city sophistication on this rustic small town’s quaint main street, August Hill’s wine shop and tasting room would look just as at home in downtown Chicago’s Gold Coast. The vintners grow their grapes on land that’s been in the family for generations, and have a passion for supporting both local artists and theater troupes as far flung as Chicago and St. Louis. Much of the art for each label is family-produced.
  • Illinois River Winery – The employees at the Illinois River Winery are so friendly they don’t seem to want to let you go. Whereas other wineries can sometimes rush, or make you feel like the tasting is all business, Bob, the tasting room manager, invites you to pull up a stool and taste as much as you like, for as long you like. For free, even. The Oktoberfest wine here is a major standout, and they have trouble keeping cases in stock, especially as autumn nears.

Shawnee Hills
Shawnee Hills is home to over a dozen Southern Illinois wineries, all within about twenty miles of one another. About fifteen minutes or so south of Carbondale, IL and the resplendent Giant City State Park, this area sees tour groups shuttling along the windy, hilly roads, especially in the summer.

  • Owl Creek Vineyard – The story behind Owl Creek is one that everyone who loves wine and wineries dreams about: a young couple, successful but unfulfilled, throw off the trappings of the corporate world and risk it all to become vintners. The owners will take the time to talk to you all about it for hours on a rainy afternoon, and, in at least one case, are happy to sacrifice one of their own towels in the event that one of your party fell into a creek while hiking in the nearby state park. The 2007 Zengeist, a crisp white, is worth owning several bottles and alone justifies every risk the couple took.
  • Starview Vineyards – In what seems to be a sprawling, white one-story cabin up against a small man made pond, Starview holds tastings, serves light cafe fare, and throws the occasional incredible party. With long rows of tables inside and a giant patio overlooking the pond outdoors, Starview likes to invite musical guests to entertain the crowds, whether it’s outdoor-heating-lamp weather or actual, natural shine. All of this is explained by the affable owner as his daughters shyly hide behind his legs. The Conchord here tastes like jam that was freshly made earlier in the day, and it may well have been. White wines are the true stars here, and they may have the best Traminette on the trail.

Grafton, Illinois
This small town is at the very edge of southwestern Illinois, where the Illinois and the Mississippi Rivers converge. Once home to a strong Native American presence, the town is now a getaway for St. Louis residents just across the river to the south. The land between the rivers to the immediate west is home to low, rolling hills filled with vineyards and fruit orchards, and is most easily accessible by ferry.

  • Piasa Winery – Piasa’s stone cottage sits at the confluence of the Grafton’s two rivers, flanked by a sunny outdoor patio and musician’s stage. Named for the mythical creature of Native American legend, Piasa has its own traditions of award-winning wines. The counter staff remembers you, even if it’s been months between visits, and keeps fans up-to-date via a Facebook page. The Piasa Blush, when cold, is incomparable as a summer wine.
  • Grafton Winery & Brewhaus – A bit further up the hill is the Grafton Winery. A full-service establishment, serving beers, food and wine, this winery boasts a view of the two rivers at sunset that’s unique to the entire Midwest. This venue doesn’t have the folksy charm that Piasa does, but it’s a well-polished operation, with the ability to cater to large parties and provide tours of the wine making facilities. In particular here, the 2003 Cabarnet Sauvignon is worth noting for it’s blend of Missouri and California grapes, and notes of cocoa, tobacco and cherry.

Related:
* The 25 greatest cities in the world for drinking wine
* The 24 greatest cities in the world for drinking beer
* The 20 greatest cities in the world for foodies

Auckland’s Waiheke Island: wine paradise

New Zealand in recent decades has established itself among the world’s wine hot spots, boasting increasingly famous wine-growing regions like Marlborough and Hawkes Bay. But New Zealand visitors thirsty for great wine need not leave greater Auckland to enjoy some of this beautiful country’s best vintages. Instead, just a short ferry ride from downtown is Waiheke Island, home base for the Mudbrick Vineyard a laid-back winery with killer food and wine and some of greater Auckland’s most astounding views.

Getting to Mudbrick from Auckland is a snap, but it feels worlds away from the city’s fast pace. Start by boarding a ferry for the 30 minute ride from downtown, during which you’ll be treated to panoramic views of Auckland’s scenic harbor and skyline, dotted by the plenty of sailboats. Soon you’ll arrive at Waiheke Island, a land mass formed by a long-extinct volcano. After a quick taxi ride from the ferry station, you’ll arrive at Mudbrick.

Situated at one of the island’s highest points, the vistas from Mudbrick alone make it worth the trip. As you enter the property, the vineyard’s vast fields of grapes slope down toward Auckland harbor below in near picture-postcard beauty. Tiny luminous insects dance over the vines in the shining sun and the faint silhouette of Auckland’s skyscrapers is visible in the distance. Once you’re done with the view, make sure to enjoy a wine tasting or a top-notch lunch at the complex’s al fresco patio. As you look out over the rows of grapes from your table, green leaves rustling gently in the salty breeze, a plate of fresh swordfish and glass of Sauvignon Blanc in front of you, you’ll understand why you made the trip. It’s this combination of unspoiled beauty, amazing views and top-notch wine that make Mudbrick Vineyard truly worth the visit.

Need New Year’s Eve ideas? Crash some plates!

I assure you that when the ball drops on the last day of 2008, I will not be in Times Square. I will be nowhere near Times Square. So, unless you like the thought of being shoulder-to-shoulder with people you’ve never met while freezing and lamenting the lack of public bathrooms in that part of town, take a look at some of the choices you have this year.

Chomp twelve grapes in Spain
Think of it as a drinking game without the fermentation. Every time the bells toll-12 times in total-eat a grape. This should ensure a sweet year. But, if you cram into Madrid‘s Puerta del Sol (see my thoughts on Times Square), listen carefully for your cue to chew.

Slam china in Denmark
Wait for the queen to finish her annual 6 PM New Year’s Eve address to the Danes. Then, join the locals in a big meal. On a full stomach, throw plates at people’s houses (typically, this is done to friends). The thrown plates are expressions of friendship. I have to assume that a direct hit on a window or expensive glass door is not. Again, just guessing.

Wait for Pinocchio in Ecuador
Ecuadorians burn effigies to prevent their real-life counterparts from stopping by, and people run around the block 12 times while wearing yellow, which they say is lucky. I do hope that they aren’t wearing only yellow … that would look funny.

Mexico: Another place to run around the block
Wear yellow if you choose (and only if you choose) while carrying your luggage around the block in Mexico. But, only do this if you want the year to bring you many travels. Investment bankers, management consultants and attorneys: don’t bother trying to resist it. You’ll be on the road anyway.

[Thanks, IgoUgo]