SkyMall Monday: O to Go Portable Wine Glasses

gadling skymall monday o to go riedel wine glassGoing out for a lavish meal with friends is one of the great pleasures in life. Elegant food, good company and, of course, delicious wine make for a wonderful night out. However, some people take their wine very seriously and anything that takes away from their vino experience can ruin the evening. The last thing anyone wants is for one of their friends to storm out of the restaurant because the glassware is substandard. Here at SkyMall Monday, we know a thing or two about wine glasses. That’s why we appreciate that SkyMall is tackling the problem of wine glass disappointment. Never again will you have to worry about a lackluster wine glass destroying any chance enjoying a night out. The next time you’re painting the town red, don’t trust restaurants and bars to know what you require. Take care of yourself – and your wine – with the O to Go portable wine glass.Obviously, not every event is suitable for wearing your wine glass around your neck. Still, why should you slum it with someone else’s glassware? You like to be in total control of your life, including your alcohol consumption. No one knows how to let your wine breathe better than you do. That’s why you need to carry around your own wine glass in a protective yet portable tube.

Think that restaurants have adequate wine glasses? Believe that carrying around your own wine glass is a sign of pathological behavior? Well, while you drink your beer from the bottle, we’ll be reading the product description:

Have you ever ordered a good bottle of wine at a restaurant only to find that the glassware is lacking? Now, bring your own Riedel glass with the new O to GO, an easy and convenient way to carry your glass anywhere.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time that happened. Am I right, ladies?

The O to Go is perfect for red wine or white wine. Sadly, if you plan to drink champagne, no flute in a tube is available. In that situation, it’s best to ask the sommelier for a Solo cup.

Keep it classy!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

How to Choose the Right Wine Glass

SkyMall Monday: Cell Phone Handset Battle

gadling skymall monday iphone cell phone handset batttle

If you’ve used an iPhone, you know that holding it up to your ear for a long period of time can be uncomfortable. If you need to be on a lengthy call, cradling the iPhone in your hand can get tiresome. Speakerphone is not always a viable option and headphones can be unsafe for your ears. Thankfully, SkyMall offers two options for adding a handset to your iPhone. This week, SkyMall Monday pits the iPhone Desktop Handset against the Retro Cell Phone Handset. Two handsets enter; one handset leaves.

Let’s meet our contestants (or, you know, take a look at their product descriptions):

iPhone Desktop Handset

This is the stand that transforms an iPhone into a more comfortable desktop handset phone. With the handset in one hand, your other hand is free to navigate an iPhone’s applications, such as calendars, e-mail, and the Internet.

Sorry, I started giggling after “your other hand is free to navigate.”

Retro Cell Phone Handset

Send your phone back to the 20th century with the vintage styling of the Retro Phone! This must have, mobile phone accessory has classic looks and functionality. Simply connect your cell phone via the 2.5 mm or 3.5 mm audio jack and alleviate erroneous touch-screen or key activation! The Retro Phone will give your phone a new dimension of classic cool while also reducing the effects of harmful radiation from your phone.

Because radiation wasn’t an issue in the 20th century!

Now that we’re familiar with the combatants, let’s dial in.

gadling skymall monday cell phone handset battle iphone

And there you have it. The iPhone Desktop Handset defeats the Retro Cell Phone Handset 3-1. In the end, though, haven’t we all lost?

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Clocks

skymall monday gadling irrational numbers clockWe’re a culture that’s fixated on time. We schedule meetings, play dates for our kids, parties and dates. We’re hyper-aware of the time. Here at SkyMall Monday, we have our days scheduled right down to the minute. We keep clocks on the walls, watches on our wrists and smartphones handy to check the time no matter where we are in the ol’ HQ. Our lives can get pretty chaotic this time of year, but you don’t have to let the holidays get the best of you. Stay calm, organized and precise and you’ll not only get through the holidays but also get your whole life in order. Thankfully, SkyMall has clocks for every personality and decor. Let’s take a look at some of the best options.We’ve actually covered some clocks in the past here at SkyMall Monday. You can’t go wrong with the Day Clock (unless, of course, you need your clock to tell you the actual time). Meanwhile, the Message in Time Clock allows you to haunt your family members. For coffee drinkers, the TimeMug kills two birds with one stone.

SkyMall doesn’t stop there, though. It has clocks for everyone:

Irrational Numbers Clock (pictures above): Your underachieving middle schooler will be late for school in no time!

Math Clock: See above.

skymall monday gadling target alarm clockTarget Clock: I’ll defer to the product description on this one:

To make it stop or snooze, the sleeper must sufficiently awaken, grab the laser gun, and hit a bull’s eye. Includes 2 other shooting games for target practice.

All joking aside, this is awesome. However, I think we can all agree that it should be a paintball gun and the target should be your significant other who, if hit, has to turn off the alarm for you. The welt will remind her all day that you love her.

10.5″ Reel Clock: Perfect for film lovers who like to roughly estimate the time based on the vague location of the clock hands.

Fishing Effects Clock: From the product description:

Each hour is announced with fishing sounds: line casting, water splashing, and more.

Perfect for the bathroom.

skymall monday gadling original bird clockOriginal Bird Clock: Let’s migrate over to the product description:

The 13″ Original Bird Clock features 12 of the most recognized birds in North America.

A different bird song announces each hour with live recordings provided by Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology.

Save your obscure birds for some other clock. I want to make sure I can easily recognize the sound when it’s a quarter past Tufted Titmouse.

Classic Glory Clock: Haunting. Disorienting. Capable of stealing our souls. Isn’t that how we want to describe our clocks?

Peaceful Cosmos Entertainer Clock: See above and watch this video instead.

Anthology Legend Clock: See above, add lights and you have yourself some nightmare fuel.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Nuddle Blanket

gadling skymall monday nuddle blanketWe can tolerate a lot here at Skymall Monday. We have a soft spot for Wine Glass Holder Necklaces, adult bibs for sloppily eating in the car and, of course, the Edge Brownie Pan. Sometimes, though, products just rub us the wrong way. Sure, we can usually feign enjoyment for the sake of a joke, but not this week. Frankly, we’re at our wits’ end. Enough with novelty blankets already! The Snuggie stopped being funny years ago. The Slanket was equally terrible. Forever Lazy is an insult to the human race. Why are people so desperate for bizarre, unflattering, poorly named mutant blankets? This crap needs to stop right here, right now. No one should be wearing these things to a ball game (or anywhere outside of their homes, for that matter). No one should be wearing these things period. If you own one, throw it out. If you don’t, stop thinking about it. And if you’re looking at SkyMall, don’t even consider buying the Nuddle Blanket.The world needs another wearable blanket like David Hasselhoff needs more body hair. Do I care that the Nuddle Blanket has a special foot pocket for keeping your tootsies warm? No! Because we have socks for that. And slippers. And adjustable thermostats that can make our homes warmer. Feet don’t belong in pockets. They’re not hands!

Did you know that the Nuddle Blanket doesn’t have sleeves because sleeves would just get in your way? You know what else doesn’t have any annoying sleeves? A regular blanket! The Nuddle Blanket also has a pocket for keeping your remote control handy. You can’t just place your remote next to you on the couch. That’s would be ridiculous.

Don’t feel as angry about this as I do? Watch this sycophant drone on about the Nuddle Blanket like it just cured cancer:

The name tells it all? Really? Nuddle means to “walk quickly with the head bent forward.” That’s a thing? That requires a word? Oh, wait, apparently Nuddle is a combination of nap and cuddle. Well, now I’m nangry (nauseous and angry). I have never felt so enveloped in stupidity.

The product description isn’t doing it any favors either:

Cuddle up with the Nuddle Blanket. It has an exclusive foot pocket to keep your feet warm all year round.

Openings for your arms let you sip, read, write or text without bothersome sleeves getting in the way.

Perhaps the foot pocket is exclusive because everyone else realized that it’s a moronic idea. Also, sleeves are bothersome? Not when they’re on shirts. Sleeves are only in your way when they’re attached to blankets. And blanket with arm holes is just a torn blanket.

Enough with the novelty blankets. Sleeves, no sleeves, arm holes, pockets, whatever, we don’t care. Just stop. What happened to us? We use to build fires to keep warm. We were survivors. We were a proud people.

Say no to the Nuddle. Reject the Snuggie. Continue to be oblivious to the Slanket. Don’t be Forever Lazy. Resist the urge to be a fleece Spider-Man. Put on a pair of socks if your feet are so cold. But not those toe socks. Man, those things piss me off.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

SkyMall Monday: Leaf Rake Hands

skymall monday leaf rake hands gadlingAs kids, it’s natural to imagine ourselves as superheroes. Heck, some of us still fantasize about that as adults. How cool would it be to have super powers and to defend the world against supervillians. Sadly, however, reality is such that this isn’t really possible. Even if you tried to be a superhero, you’d probably just end up in trouble with the law. At the end of the day, there are no supervillians and vigilante justice is frowned upon. So, even if you had otherworldly powers, you’d still be stuck in your humdrum life. Even if I could fly, I’d still be writing SkyMall Monday every week, albeit from different places around the world. Even this week’s featured SkyMall product, which resembles Wolverine’s claws, will simply make landscaping your yard only slightly cooler. Even X-Men need to keep a tidy lawn, and that’s why you need the Leaf Rake Hands.Raking leaves is tedious, backbreaking work. No matter how much you rake, more leaves just fall from the trees. Most rakes are flimsy and appear to have been made 30 years ago. Today’s leaves require modern solutions. While superpowers would help, manpower most important.

Think that rakes are perfectly designed for the task at hand? Believe that Wolverine probably hires a landscaping crew to clean his yard? Well, while you clean your gutters telepathically, we’ll be reading the product description:

The deep scoop design of the Leaf Rake Hands allows you to grab huge amounts of leaves, brush, or hedge clippings at one go. Simply grip the handles and scoop! The Leaf Rake Hands use the power of your forearms to make grabbing and lifting nearly effortless.

Finally, years of working out your forearms while browsing the internet have paid off.

You might not be able to be a superhero, but you can be a look like one as you handle your domestic chores. Those leaves aren’t going to rake themselves and that spandex suit that you made for yourself deserves to be worn at least once.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.