Why Can’t I Open the Emergency Door Before Takeoff?

From the files of James Wysong, a flight attendant (former?) who has a
couple of books under his belt about life at 35,000 feet, comes a
funny column about ways to annoy his kind and
perhaps find yourself sitting on the tarmac or in jail. Some of his list includes actual events he has observed, such
as opening an exit before take off to see if the slide works and pulling out a squirt gun which looks like a real
weapon and spraying people. It’s nice to see people like Wysong reminding us how stupid the human race can sometimes