Sean Penn the (Doomed) Sailor

We’ve bashed Sean Penn enough here that we almost feel
bad for giving him a hard time for his recent efforts to help the folks in New Orleans, but hey sometimes he brings it
on himself.

Turns out Savior Spicoli set out to do “whatever I
can to help”, by launching a boat in the drowned city of New Orleans. Unfortunately, he did not have his sea legs about
him enough to realize that there was a hole in the rescue vessel, which promptly started sinking as he furiously
scooped water out of the boat with a plastic cup (but not before finishing his rum and Coke…just kidding. I added that
part).  Onlookers who apparently knew better warned Penn that there were already too many people in the boat,
including his personal photographer. One of them quipped, “How are you going to get any people in that thing?” Sean, we
love you, we really do, and any day you want to invite us out for a surf with Eddie and yourself, we’ll be there, but
my goodness at least bring some duct tape next time. It works wonders.