Are Most American Kids Stupid?

often a bit dubious about reports like this, those that claim American kids are so dumb. Not because I don’t think
American kids are dumb. They are. For the most part, they are a bunch of Playstation playin, Xtasy-droppin, random sex
havin’, IM’in,, emoticon sendin’, no good, slothful slackers.

But that’s beside the point.

Because when I read that three out of four
ages 18-24 can’t find Iraq on a map, I immediately considered my own school days as a rabble-rousing,
pre-Internet youngster, and when I do that, I picture some doughy, preachy adult asking me to find Iraq on the map, her
fists balled into her hips, glasses perched on her beak of a nose, and while I know that Iraq is right there, why
yes, right there next to Iran in the place called the Middle East,
I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. In
fact, I act stupid and point to Greenland, just to see her reaction. And when she rolls her eyes and shakes her head
and rues the decline of Western Civilization, I feel much more satisfaction than if I got the question right and she
pats me on the head in front of all my peers. Know what I’m talking about?

But is that what’s happening
here? Well, probably not. Most of these kids probably DID get it wrong. But does it really matter? I mean, the last
thing we want our children worrying about is all the nasty stuff happening in the world, right? Kids should be kept in
the dark about such things. Let’s keep them feted with greasy food and kept comfortably numb. Let’s give them pillows
and candy and stuffed animals and pretty, shiny things to stare at. Don’t you agree?