It’s true. You can take a corporate luxury cruise for $15 a day. But, like any deal this sweet, there’s a catch. You either have to work for the company, or know someone who does (and who’s willing to take you with them and share a 10 by 10 cubby with you and maybe two other people). In Alaska most of the summer workers I know are affiliated with the cruise companies, which run lodges, and railroad and motor coach tours in addition to cruises.
I’ve been lucky enough to take two cruises, and on both I was an obvious outsider to the older, affluent crowd. My most recent cruise was with my best friend Jen and our significant others. Jen and I had just arrived in Europe after 7 months backpacking through Asia, and it showed. We looked worn in and dirty in a polished way, like a favorite pair of shoes. We had (re)packing down to a science, and were well-versed in disguising un-showered hair and un-laundered shirts.
While the other cruisers took air-conditioned buses to the port from Rome, we took the local train and walked through the port, straining to catch a glimpse of our company’s logo through all the industry. We knew we were heading in the right direction when the air-con buses farted by, leaving a trail of dust for us cough out.
We walked up to the boat with our packs slumping over our shoulders, and were approached by a security guard about 100 meters from the ship. We didn’t have actual tickets, and it took us a while to convince him we weren’t planning to stowaway to Santorini. Finally we got him to check the list of passengers and we boarded, the last passengers to do so.
After that, it was hot showers, clean towels, salad bars and fine wine. Jen and I could’ve been featured in a magazine article with a title like “Extreme Makeovers: Some Folks Really Do Clean up Nice.”
I felt like Jack Dawson in Titanic when he says (and I really wanted to say this to people on the boat), “I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people.”
The irony of cruising wasn’t lost on us; most of the staff was from the developing countries we’d just left, and were probably sending everything they earned back home to their families. The volume of food was ridiculous, and I’m sure much of it was thrown out. I was embarrassed and apologetic at the abundance of service — someone actually picked my clothes up off the floor, and turned my sheets down at night. We visited World Heritage Sites for a single afternoon, which made it really difficult to say “I’ve been there” (kind of like counting a layover as a visit to a country).
But then again, $15 a day for fresh towels, chocolate mousse, and a tour of the Mediterranean is not such a bad way to spend a vacation from traveling. Especially when it’s actually cheaper than traveling.
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