Canadian shoppers skirt duty, leave skirts

During this holiday season, scores of Canadians have been crossing the border to do their clothes shopping, in order to take advantage of the favorable exchange rate. But to avoid paying the duty on the items as they cross back into Canada, many of the shoppers have been shedding their old clothes and wearing the new ones on the trip back. Sneaky devils.

What happens to the old clothes? According to an AP story, “The old clothes get left behind in parking lots, dressing rooms and restrooms at malls and shopping plazas…”

One mall employee reports, “Oh, we found shoes out in the parking lot. Old shoes. We’ve had people come in and say ‘there’s shoes in your parking lot.'”

Apparently the music of Celine Dion is not the only garbage Canadians have left in the United States. Zing!

Borat make new book

We all laughed at Borat in the theaters, but does his humor translate onto the written page?

The answer is a definitive, sort of.

Our favorite Kazakh journalist has left the big screen behind and has recently released his first foray into the world of literature: Borat: Touristic Guidings to Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan; Touristic Guidings to Minor Nation of U.S. And A.

Pretty much all one needs to know about this book can be discerned from the title. The atrocious grammar and throttling of the English language that makes Borat so endearing in person is wholeheartedly carried over to the printed word. And so, we find words that sound funny onscreen, such as anoos, and struggle over them when they appear in the book.

Yes, the words lose some of their humor on the way to the printer, but are not entirely stripped bare. The book remains quite funny and equally disturbing in a demented sort of way, providing a slew of yucks on nearly every page. Some of the humor is subtle, such as an oversized Kazakhstan on a world map or the corresponding legend where X’s located near nuclear power plants, indicate “Regions of much retardation and ‘Strange Ones.”‘
A good part of the humor focuses on Onion-style absurdity. “It take me 7 week to qualify a doctor.” Borat comments in a section dealing with his education. “One of first operation I perform was to remove a demon that live inside the head of my brother Bilo. I do everything correct – I chisel hole exact size of kestrel egg and place dry fish inside Bilo’s head to scare the demon but unfortunate demon become angry with us and make Bilo a retard.” Okay, so you get the idea.

The rest of the humor borders on the more graphic–I’ve never owned a book with so many photos of penises. And barnyard animals. Ugh.

Nonetheless, Borat’s freshman remains an entertaining read best enjoyed in snippets when you’re looking for a little laugh to brighten up the day–but be careful because you’re just as likely to be freaked out or disgusted. But, I guess some people like that.

I suppose my only complaint, outside of the penises, of course, is the production overkill. The actual layout of the book is intended to appear as though it was produced in a third world nation that can’t afford all the same font, non-pixilated photographs, or even a ruler to ensure everything is aligned. Frankly, it’s a bit bothersome and the joke becomes worn-out very quickly. Just a few of these planned mistakes would have provided far more humor.

But I laughed, nonetheless, and that’s the whole idea of the book, isn’t it?

Travel photographer of the year announced

Cat Vinton, a London-based travel photographer, recently became the first female winner of the 5th annual Travel Photographer of the Year competition. Vinton’s beautiful photos depict life in the frigid north of Norway, as well as nomadic life in Mongolia. A 14-year-old Canadian girl named Luna Malka won the Young Travel Photographer of the Year contest, which had a theme this year of Fragile Earth. Check out her winning shots, which are so much better than anything I’ve ever taken it’s almost depressing.

Think you have what it takes to win next year’s competition? Find out some of the entry requirements here. This year’s prize pool was £50,000 (US $1 zillion) worth of prizes and it included a chance to photograph the Dalai Lama in India.

Check out the full story from the Times Online.

Czech Christmas, Part VI: Obsessive cleaning disorder

I am not sure how it is in other countries, but Czech women (those over 40, at least) have this idea that Christmas would be “completely ruined” if their house was not completely spotless. They literally spend the weeks leading up to Christmas by cleaning obsessively, washing all windows, cleaning the carpets, taking collections of crystal from the shelves and dusting them…

I have nothing against cleaning in principle, but doing all of this before Christmas–which is already one of the most stressful times of the year–seems counter-productive.

Last time I asked people why it is so important to clean before Christmas, I didn’t get the answers I was hoping to get. It had nothing to do with cleansing thy soul, so to speak. It was either A) other women were doing it and she would look bad if she didn’t or B) it wouldn’t be Christmas if everything weren’t clean. Nothing like good circular logic to get the holiday spirit flowing!

Thieves at 30,000 feet

There is a certain sense of security and safety within the confines of an airplane.

Unlike a bus or train, most of us are completely at ease placing our carry-on out of sight and then closing our eyes and falling asleep. What thief would be brazen enough–or simply stupid enough–to try and steal someone’s luggage without any possible escape route?

Well, apparently thieves in China are taking advantage of this in-flight, lowering-of-one’s-guard and have been quite busy relieving passengers of their overhead-bin valuables while they sit just a few feet away merrily thumbing through their in-flight magazine.

In fact, the China Daily claims that there have been at least 100 thefts at 30,000 feet this year and that this has become so much of a problem that the Chinese government recently issued a nationwide warning to all passengers flying the unfriendly skies of China.

Oh man. The day Chinese airlines become just like Chinese trains is the day I stop flying in China.