Sluggish economy is slowing illegal border crossings

by Iva Skoch on

This is a bad sign. Even illegal immigrants now think that the US economy is bad enough that “to live here is to suffer.” According to Radar magazine, the number of those seeking to cross the border illegally is dropping precipitously, mostly due to our “sickly housing industry and pisspoor economy.”

Radar is worried…in a Radar kind of way. Who is going to do all those jobs nobody else wants to do? “Now that things are getting a little rough you want to turn tail? Now, when we don’t need you the most? No deal, buddy. You’re gonna sit here and suffer with the rest of us.”

Something tells me Radar magazine’s cheeky tone is not going to go over well in the Mexican community.

10 quotes from Kurt Vonnegut, on the first anniversary of his death

by Aaron Hotfelder on

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the death of a favorite writer of mine, Kurt Vonnegut. Best known for his books Slaughterhouse-Five, Breakfast of Champions, Cat’s Cradle, and many, many more, Vonnegut had a way of creating alternate realities, while at the same time saying something important about our own.

Here are ten of my favorite quotes from Vonnegut, some applicable to travel and some just applicable to life.

10. “We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.”

9. [In a Baptismal speech, from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater]: “Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies– God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

8. “History is merely a list of surprises… It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. Write that down.”

7. “Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.”

6. [When Vonnegut tells his wife he’s going out to buy an envelope] “Oh, she says well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don’t know. The moral of the story is, is we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.”

5. “Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.”

4. “The highest treason in the USA is to say Americans are not loved, no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing there.”

3. [After Kilgore Trout tracks mud onto a nice carpet in Breakfast of Champions]: “It was Trout’s fantasy that somebody would be outraged by the footprints. This would give him the opportunity to reply grandly, “What is it that offends you so? I am simply using man’s first printing press. You are reading a bold and universal headline which says ,’I am here, I am here, I am here.'”

2. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterwards.”

1. “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'”

GADLING TAKE 5: Week of 4-11-2008

by Catherine Bodry on

This week can be summed up in one word: delayed. If you had somewhere important to be this week that required a domestic flight, you have my sympathies. Now, let’s focus on the fun stuff:

That’s five! Happy Friday.

Can’t get enough of that jetset lifestyle? Buy an airplane cabin!

by Grant Martin on

I seriously thought this was a joke until I looked at the auction. Apparently, someone on Ebay Germany is selling an actual internal section of an Airbus aircraft, complete with seats, rails, overhead compartments and even OVENS.

What on earth would you do with something like that? I know I’m a bit of an airplane nerd and I like to stare out the window and fly around the country in circles, but I can think of very few uses for this. So I’ll put it to you guys: What would you do with a replica airplane interior? Here are my few (lame) ideas:

  • Set it up in my boss’ office while she’s out on assignment
  • Throw a pilots and flight attendants party and get drunk in it
  • Buy it (in Germany) and try to check it in on your flight home — “I brought my own overhead compartment”
  • Put it in my basement, drink whiskey out of four once bottles and bite my thumb at the TSA to my heart’s content

What would you do with an airplane cabin? I’m interested to see how much this auction goes for.

[Via Gizmodo]

Indonesian masseuses told to padlock pants

by Catherine Bodry on

Is Indonesia reverting to the era of chastity belts? The country recently implemented a policy requiring its female masseuses to wear padlocks on their trousers.

We all know that for some folks, visiting a massage parlor means they’re getting a whole lot more than a back rub. There are specific institutions that cater to these types of customers and I’m certain that those particular “massage therapists” didn’t put in 500 hours and get their massage licenses. Working out the kinks in your back isn’t their specialty.

So it seems to me that putting a padlock on the masseuses’ pants isn’t really solving the masseuse-as-prostitute problem, and, as the State Minister for Women’s Empowerment Meuthia Hatta pointed out, it makes the masseuse appear to be in the wrong, not the customer.

What do you think?