Wanted in North Manchester, England: Serial bottom-pincher. A surveillance camera caught the man in action, loitering in the Tib Street area between 7 and 8 a.m. Police have asked that if anyone should recognize the suspect to please get in touch. No word on whether or not he is after a specific type of bottom.
A Turkish or Greek-looking man has grabbed the behinds of at least 19 girls and women between the ages of 13 and 43 over the past 12 months in the town’s center. The suspect, in his late 20s or early 30s, usually approaches his victims from behind and tries to sexually assault them by grabbing their bottoms. While the incidents have not increased in severity, the man has put his victims in extremely uncomfortable situations, police said.
Here is a message for you, serial bottom pincher: Move your operation to New York City. There are plenty of women there who would kill to get their butts pinched occasionally. (Don’t tell anyone I told you to do it.)