Bolshoi in Russia: How to turn Prague into Moscow in 7 easy steps

Greetings from Moscow! Bolshoi in Russia is my variation on Big in Japan. (Bolshoi means “Big” in Russian. Get it?) Stay tuned for my live dispatches from Russia this week.

Needless to say, the similarities between Prague and Moscow have been on my mind lately. With a group of friends, this is the summary we came up with over a few drinks.

How to turn Prague into Moscow:

1) Turn back time at least 10, preferably 15 years.
2) Tear down 95.3% of the old buildings and replace with communist
realism buildings.
3) Reduce number of pretty women by 20%, primarily through the use
of bad make-up, bad hair dye, bad clothing, and gold teeth.
4) Increase the population by ten-fold.
5) Increase prices to New York City standard.
6) Replace every third car with a Mercedes and one of the two
remaining with a BMW, give everyone two, and park them all on the
7) Widen every other street and turn it into a likeness of the
Magistrala, then remove all speed limits.

I know, I know. Probably not the most insightful thing you ever read in your life. Isn’t it strange how things always sound better over drinks?

From Russia, with love.