Galley Gossip: A question about dating pilots – gay pilots.

Dear Heather,
I flew a MIA-JFK yesterday and thought of you. These were the highlights…
  • Family of 6 in first class made the purser cry
  • Customer service agent boarded the plane to calm passengers down which caused a late push back
  • Lady got dizzy and needed oxygen in economy
  • Lady ran from economy to first class lavatory seconds before take-off
  • We missed our roll
  • No kosher meal made a Jewish lady cry
  • Had to do a “go-round” at JFK
  • Late arrival
  • Missed international connections
  • More yelling passengers

It was a total scene! By the way, can you possibly find a nice pilot for me to date? He doesn’t have to be HOT, just cute enough, and nice…oh and a pilot. LOL


Dear Ron,

Thank you for thinking of me…I think. I mean that was a crazy flight you experienced and I’m not so sure I want to be connected to that kind of drama. Now if you’d said it was a great flight and you thought of me, I’d be thrilled. But a bad flight? Not good. And that’s exactly why I avoid the NY – Miami route at all costs. It’s always a tough trip to work.

As for finding you a cute pilot to date, I’ll definitely keep an eye out and I’ll pass the word along to my mother who is also a flight attendant. Though that might not be such a great idea, considering one of the worst pilot dates I ever had was a blind date my mother arranged with a 757 first officer from New York. Not that I can pick them any better. My friend Cady, on the other hand, always had good luck with pilots and even married one. Perhaps her husband, an international Airbus Captain based in Miami, can be of assistance.

I have yet to meet a gay pilot – that I know of. Now I know they’re out there because my friend Stephen is dating one. Not to mention, I’ve heard quite a few scandalous rumors in the galley, rumors I will not share with you here, only because they are just that – rumors. That said, I have met a couple transgender pilots and mechanics throughout the years who were more than happy to discuss their experiences, like Jamy Spradlin, who recently regained her wings after the Federal Aviation Administration delayed renewing her flying license for nearly a year as they analyzed her psyche for stability after she started hormone replacement therapy.

Recently I read an interesting book, Cockpit Confessions of an Airline Pilot, by Stephen Gary Keshner. Midway through Keshner discusses what it was like to be a Jewish pilot and why he hid his religion from his coworkers. If Keshner felt he had something to hide by poking fun of his own religion to throw his colleagues off, I can only imagine how gay pilots must feel when talk turns to dating and family. Take it from me, it’s not always easy working with such a diverse group of men and women. Half the time you’re meeting someone new on each and every trip, which means you’ve got to learn quickly how to work together, meshing different personalities in a confined metal tube for hours on end. At least I have the opportunity to escape a coworker I may not be getting along with by working in a different cabin. I can’t imagine what it must be like for pilots, especially gay pilots, who may not feel comfortable sharing details of their personal lives.

On a side note, The NPGA, National Gay Pilots Association, is an organization promoting aviation safety and equal treatment. They provide scholarships to help earn a degree in aviation and access to legal and medical assistance, as well as a social and professional network for gay and lesbian members of the aviation industry, from pilots and students to flight attendants, mechanics, and air traffic controllers.

Another way to find the pilot of your dreams, Ron, is to check out aviation dating web sites like and Personally, I’d skip the dating sites and just do what my friend Cady was doing when she met her husband – hang out at Starbuck’s in the airport. You’re bound to run into a ton of crew members grabbing a quick jolt of caffeine before a long flight. I know that’s exactly where I’m going to be before my flight to San Francisco departs tonight.

Good luck with your search and happy travels!

Heather Poole

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