Frequent flyer dedication reaches new levels

Sure, you may fly 200,000 miles a year and may have reached top tier of your airline frequent flyer program. You’ve probably got the baggage tags, System Wide Upgrades, drink certificates and commemorative pens. You may even pop your collar every time you get onto the aircraft.

But you haven’t really dedicated yourself to your favorite airline until you paint your office in their color scheme. That’s what Flyertalk user jjglaze77 did when he moved into his new office building and discovered a few scrap airline seats left over. Moving them into his office, he decided that the best companions for the seats were a dark blue wall and Delta logos. As you can see, the room looks quite authentic — and he’s not even a Delta employee.

So next time one of you gives me crap about being such a super special flyer, you had better bring evidence. I’m not taking anyone seriously until I find out that their office has been remodeled.

Should airlines filter their wireless?

Now that airlines have started broadcasting wireless internet in their aircraft, people are starting to get concerned about the “content” that gets piped into the aircraft. And by content I mean porn.

Seems that not everyone is comfortable with the idea of rampant browsing with 200 people around you to look over your shoulder. A casual concern for a few people, but now The Flight Attendants have decided to weigh in. In letters to management this past week, the union representing American Airlines‘ crew has requested filters be added to flight Wi-Fi in order to prevent illicit browsing and other chicanery.

Their reasoning is that they’re already busy enough taking care of passenger and flight needs — they have neither the bandwith nor the responsibility to police passengers.

Personally, I could go either way on this. I tend to think that we as Americans don’t need to be nannied and should be able to handle ourselves properly — not all cafés, libraries and offices are filtered, right? But in the other light, I don’t care if clearly illicit sites are blocked — I wouldn’t be going there anyway. I think what most people are worried about is if the nannying gets too far; if perezhilton.com and usmagazine.com get mistakenly blocked because Britney got pregnant again, then people might get mad.

So it doesn’t really matter to me. What about you?

%Poll-19778%

Fake airline commercial: Fantasy in the sky

Yesterday Scott gave us vintage airline commercials. Real commercials. Here is a video of what looks like a real vintage commercial, but it’s fake. You’ll figure it out in a second or two. As sexist as I think this is, and I do, I laughed. Perhaps, because it captured the tone of commercials and an earlier era–not that flight attendants have ever been this way.

It would be fun to see a commercial like this one where the women get the flight of their dreams. I wonder what that would look like?

Galley Gossip: Vegas Baby! (It’s not the same)

Due to short layovers, long work hours, multiple cities flown in a day, and the number of passengers aboard the aircraft, flight attendants can become very forgetful, particularly when it comes to you and something as simple as your drink order, even the one you just ordered.

“I’m sorry did you say orange juice?” I asked the man who had probably said just that, as half the cabin had already ordered exactly that. Orange juice.

Curtly the passenger nodded. I filled a plastic glass with ice, and that’s when I realized he may not even want ice, so I asked, “Ice or no ice?” even though I was fairly certain the answer would be no ice. Half the cabin had already requested no ice.

The passenger said something, his lips were moving, but I could not make out what it was he said, so I held up the gray plastic ice scoop and pretended to put ice into his clear plastic cup, and asked, “Ice? Ice?” just as I had done for several passengers before him.

Again the lips moved, yet I still could not figure out what he wanted, so I made a judgment call. I filled up the glass with orange juice. Just juice. No ice. Then I smiled and placed the glass on his tray table. He nodded, took a sip, and on to the next row I went.

Orange juice no ice. Tea. Tea with milk. Tea with milk and sugar. Strangely enough, these were the popular drink choices on my last flight. No, this was not a morning trip to Seattle. This was actually a flight, an evening flight, on a Saturday night of all nights, to Las Vegas, Nevada.

Flight attendants can usually guess what you’re drinking based on where you’re going. For example, Californians can’t get enough bottled water, sparkling water, and club soda, while Texans drink us out of Dr. Pepper, and our Senior Citizens enjoy tomato juice, so imagine my surprise when I constantly found myself running out of hot tea and OJ while serving a rather subdued crowd to Vegas last night. Not normal. Not at all. This was Vegas remember!

“You’re going to have so much fun!” said my hairdresser yesterday morning after I told her where I was flying later that evening.

“It’s a fun crowd, but a tough one. They keep you busy,” I laughed, and then I told her our layover was short, as in ten hours short, which is not enough time to have fun. The days of fun are long gone. I really miss those days. My how things have changed.

“I’m so jealous! I want to go with you!” said a woman with foils in her hair sitting beside me.

“Oh no you don’t. Our layover is really short,” I said again, and then I told her about the demanding Las Vegas crowd, the one that keeps you busy the entire flight.

Now I hadn’t flown to Vegas in over six months, but the last time I found myself behind the drink cart I couldn’t get out of the aisle. Nor could I keep the liquor drawer stocked. Yet strangely enough on my flight last night the beverage service not only went fairly smooth, it also went somewhat quick, which is a flight attendant dream. I think I may have sold one alcoholic beverage on the flight. That’s it. Not that there’s anything was wrong with that – just the opposite actually. But it was strange, very strange, running out of tea bags, not liquor, on a drama free flight.

Or is it strange, considering how weak the dollar is these days, I thought to myself, as I handed an 81 year-old Argentinian woman traveling with a group of eleven a stir stick.

Of course it was strange, at first, when all those well dressed passengers boarded the aircraft. “Hello. (Nice shoes.) How are you? (love the glasses.) Welcome aboard. (Beautiful blouse.)”

Can you say so long to the American traveling attire – tank tops, flip flops, and shorts, and hello …I like the way you’re dressed. Let me tell you, it is so nice when passengers actually wear clothes, nice clothes, on the airplane, especially when there aren’t any blankets on board anymore.

After filling up yet another pot of hot tea and serving a row of Germans, Jaime, my coworker on the other side of the cart, asked, “Is this what it’s like to fly international?

International passengers they were, an international service it was not. That’s what I thought to myself as I asked the Iranian gentleman near the front of the aircraft traveling with seven others, whose around the world trip was taking them from New York to Vegas to Los Angeles to Hawaii, “Would you care to purchase a snack?”

“Not free?” he asked, inspecting the turkey and cheese croissant sandwich wrapped in plastic.

Nor did it feel like an international flight, though they, the passengers, were international travelers from all corners of the globe, when I had to explain to the British man seated near the rear of the aircraft that yes, we really had run out of sandwiches on a five hour flight. “All we have left is a very large, but very good, chocolate chip cookie.”

“You mean to tell me this is the only food service you provide and you’ve already run out of food?” he asked.

I gulped. “Yes. I’m sorry,” I said, and that’s all I said, before moving on to the next row. I mean what else could I say?

Although sometimes it doesn’t look like it at first glance, this is a domestic flight within the US. Not a long haul international flight where most of your wants and needs are still being met after purchasing a higher priced fair.

After we had finished our service, Kim, the first class flight attendant, made her way to our cabin and said, “You are not going to believe what he said.” I don’t know why I automatically assumed Kim spoke of the popular actor from the 80’s wearing the SARS mask throughout the entire flight, but I was right to assume so. He rang his call light and wanted to discuss our security procedures on-board the airplane during flight. “He doesn’t approve of what we do. He thinks we should have something more advanced in place, especially in this day and age.”

“Like what?” I asked. Really, I wanted to know, what else could we do in this day and age of air travel?

There’s a saying, it takes money to make money. Therefore it takes money to put in place all those security measures you feel that are inadequate, and the amenities you still expect on-board the domestic flights, along with that extra flight attendant that is often needed to provide you with the service you’ve come to expect. Believe it or not, one extra flight attendant can make a huge difference in the type of service you receive, particularly when there are 166 passengers and only 2 flight attendants working the aisle in coach on a 757. Things have changed in the world of travel, that much is true, and it continues to change, whether we like it or not, for passengers and crew alike.

Cast your bet on next airline to go bankrupt — need a bookie?

Irish bookie Paddy Power is now taking bets on when your favorite airline is going to go bankrupt. Yes, with a little clever banking you too can now sell United Airlines short at 20:1 odds and hope that the carrier goes belly up. The top five favorites and odds?

  • Alitalia: 8:15
  • Spanair: 9:2
  • SkyEurope: 5:1
  • AirBerlin: 5:1
  • FlyGlobespan: 5:1

Surprisingly all of them are European airlines — but perhaps that’s because Paddy Power is an Irish entity. What are their (least) favorite US carriers?

Yes, they even have odds on Air Force One at 1000:1. “Hogwash!” you say, “That’s pure craziness!” Well, tell that to the guy who put $100 down on Giacomo in the 2005 Kentucky derby and won $5,030.

While the crazy odds on the president’s aircraft may be a bit of a joke, Paddy Power does lend some interesting insight into the market conditions in which we now reside. As we saw last week, erroneous news that United had gone bankrupt triggered a massive selloff resulting in the temporary suspension of the stock. That dive wouldn’t have happened if investors didn’t believe that the news was true.

Moving those shares out of the airline industry and into Apple doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore, does it?