Galley Gossip: Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #2: Back to your seat, please!

by Heather Poole on

Socks on the airplane have been the subject of many conversations in the galley. As well as the cause of a flight attendant nightmare or two. Personally, I don’t care what you wear – shoes, socks, even no socks – but it’s where those shoes (socks and even no socks) are headed that bothers me. Why? Because they’re wandering up and down the aisle and into the lavatory. And…umm…you do realize that’s not water on the bathroom floor, right?

The socks have just exited the bathroom and have now entered the galley.

“Excuse me, miss, can I get a glass of water?”

“Of course,” I say, as I place my lunch on the counter and try not to flinch when I see the socks. I reach for a plastic cup and a bottle of water as you inch your way closer to me. I smile. You smile. We’re both smiling as you slowly bounce up and down on the toes, jangling loose change in the pocket.

“Here you go,” I say, handing you the glass, but before I can even twist the cap back on the bottle of spring water, you say, “A little more, please.”

“Oh sure.” I untwist and pour. Hey, you don’t have to explain it to me. The glass is small. You’re thirsty. I get it. That’s fine.

But now you’re peeking inside an insert. I imagine you’re thinking to yourself, hmm…what do we have in here? Just orange juice and dry ice, I want to say, but don’t, because that’s when I notice you’re eyeing a cup of lemons and limes with a little too much intensity. I’m just about to ask you if you’d like one, when I watch in horror as a hand reaches inside and takes a few.

You smile at me, so I smile back at you, even though I no longer feel like smiling due to the fact you’ve just stuck your hand in there without asking, a hand that recently exited the lavatory before entering the galley. I make a mental note to toss the lemons and limes as soon as you leave. Then I find myself wondering if you’re ever going to leave, because you’ve just placed your empty cup on the counter and you’ve decided to enjoy the view outside by cupping your hands around the small port hole located on the other side of the galley. Now I can’t breathe. Why? You’re still in the galley. Don’t you know it’s against federal aviation regulation to loiter around the galleys and lavatories. Didn’t you hear the captain’s PA?

Guess not. Because you’ve just draped your arms over the other jumpseat, the one right beside me, resting your chin on your arms as you take in a view from the back of the cabin. I try to remain calm. Surely I won’t have to say anything because you’ll be taking your seat anytime now, right?

Wrong.

You bend over and touch your toes. You’ve decided this would be the perfect time to start doing those doctor recommended calisthenics. While you’re bending and stretching, I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. I’m sorry, but I do get a little claustrophobic from time to time. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because your butt is now in my face.

Look, unless you’ve actually been invited into the galley (it does happen), you do not – I repeat – you do not, for any reason, step onto the linoleum floor – for any length of time. And if you do, try to make it quick. Do not loiter. Do not help yourself to whatever you happen to see. And please do not bring your baby to the back to crawl around. It’s filthy in there. Not to mention, we break glass in there. And do you really need to do your exercising in the galley? Can’t you simply take a walk the length of the cabin to get the blood flow going when the seat belt sign is not on. I mean is Pilate’s really necessary?

Imagine I came to your place of work and peeked into your drawers and helped myself to all those little nicknack’s you have on your desk – ya know, the jelly beans, the picture of the wife and kids, the Rubik’s cube. What’s the problem? I just came by to say hi. To see what’s up. Don’t really care if you’re eating lunch or in the middle of a project. Not when I want to be near you. What’s the big deal? I’m just taking a break. Stretching the legs. Inviting whomever passes to join me in your tiny little office space. Mind if I do a few lunges in here? Right beside you. Rubbing up against you. Hey, you gonna eat that sandwich?

Admit it, you’d get a little annoyed, too. Now go back to your seat. The seat belt sign is on.

Open Skies airlines gives free companion fares through summer

by Grant Martin on

By this point you’ve probably heard the buzz about Open Skies airlines, British Airways‘ new daughter airline that is flying a new business-class-only type of service between New York City and Paris. They just started operating yesterday and are slowly starting to build their reputation and customer base.

Outside of the internet and this blog though, most people are out in the ether. I’ve mentioned the airline to a few people and they didn’t know what I was talking about, let alone what the Open Skies Agreement, proper, was.

Open Skies knows this, which is why they’re starting to prod some of the frequent flyers and attention-payers out in the market. They’re now offering members of Flyertalk, the local airline and mileage forum free companion tickets on fares booked through the end of the summer — yes, that’s high season.

And yes, you can join Flyertalk too.

Tickets have to be booked in at least biz, their second tier of service, but adding up the numbers, I got round trip prices in late August for about 830$ per passenger. That’s 40$ less than an economy ticket on the competition. That’s a good price.

If you want to check out the offer and join Flyertalk, check their website here or bounce over to Open Skies for their official page and booking instructions.

See you in Paris.

Adventures in Hostelling writing contest wants your words

by Jamie Rhein on

If you have 150 to 250 of the very best words–whether funny, romantic, thought-provoking, etc. etc., but true–every last word of them, try out your wordsmith mettle by telling your hostelling story.

Hi-USA Golden Gate Council of Hosteling International is celebrating its 50th anniversary by throwing a contest. Here’s what you do:

  • Think of that story
  • Write it down in 150-250 words
  • Send it in by July 15

Simple, right?

For your efforts you could win:

  • the Grand Prize of one round-trip voucher for international travel on American Airlines valid through March 9, 2009
  • a Jury Prize of a Flip Video Camera (there are three of these)
  • or an Honorable Mention of a one-year membership to Hosteling International

All winning entries will be published in a commemorative publication.

By the way, the story does need to thematically highlight the mission of the Hi-USA Golden Gate Council. What’s that you say? It’s to help travelers “gain a greater understanding of the world and its people through hostelling.”

Before you send in your ONE entry, make sure you’ve made it as entertaining, perfectly written, and as relevant to the purpose of hostelling as you can. For further details, click here. To enter online, click here. Let us know if you win. No prize is too small.

Total words of this post: 220

Continental Airlines to join Star Alliance

by Grant Martin on

Continental just issued a press release saying that they’re entering a cooperative agreement with United Airlines, saying the two airlines will “cooperate extensively, linking their networks and services worldwide to the benefit of customers, and creating revenue opportunities and cost savings and other efficiencies.” This means that Continental will also join United in the Star Alliance.

For those of you who follow airline alliances, this means that CO will be dropping Skyteam, whose partners include Delta, KLM and Northwest, and picking up partners such as Lufthansa and US Airways.

Basically, Continental Onepass members won’t be able to accrue or spend miles on Skyteam anymore (similarly, partner airlines can’t spend miles on CO), but they can on Star.

It does not, however, mean that the airlines are merging — only that they’ll be collaborating on many routes, codeshares and other logistics.

In the current airline industry, this change was almost inevitable. Carriers are looking at ways to collaborate on operations and cut costs, just like Northwest and Delta announced earlier this year. With the two airlines’ combined routes and networks, a stronger entity will now exist that can better compete with the soon to be uber Delta Airlines.

No word yet on when exactly the alliance changes will take place and a schedule for the official divorce from Skyteam airlines. But if you were thinking about booking a ticket with your Skyteam miles on CO, now might be a good time to do it.

And the award for the best North American Airline goes to…..

by Grant Martin on

Continental Airlines, for the fifth year straight. Congratulations.

The Official Airline Guide (OAG) just had its annual award ceremony to award the top performers in the industry, and the winner among all frequent flyers polled was Continental.

With a strong market presence out of New York City, hubs across the country, a superior first class and meals still served in coach (gasp), it’s not hard to believe. Continental has perennially been a favorite among business and leisure travelers alike, and as long as they keep up this quality behavior they’ll stay that way.

We’ll see if they jump on the bandwagon of cutting amenities and increasing fees like the other legacy carriers did.

Other notable winners were:

Best Economy/Coach Class: American Airlines
Best Airlines based in Western Europe: Virgin Atlantic
Best Airport: Singapore Changi
Best Transatlantic Airline: British Airways

You can check out the full spectrum of awards over at OAG.com.