Bolshoi in Russia: Lenin, Stalin and other marketing icons still alive and kicking

I have always wanted to see Russia. Growing up in a satellite communist country, with the Soviet Union–the occupying force–pitched as the Evil of all Evils, it took me a while before I thought I could honestly visit the country with an open mind. Nineteen years after the end of communism in Central Europe, to be exact.

Needless to say, I grew up imprinted with a lot of stereotypes about Russia and Russians: They are expanding. Unemotional. They are alcoholics. Xenophobes. And especially: the world would have been better off if Lenin was never born and the Tsar kept ruling Russia.

It’s scary how deeply those stereotypes get rooted when you are bombarded with them from early childhood. I am not saying that some sterotypes aren’t true about Russia today, but they are not exactly helpful when you want to have an open mind about a place. Of course, I really didn’t want to go to Russia just to confirm the stereotypes. I felt like Russia was the missing piece to my view of the world–primarily the political world–and understanding it would greatly help.

With that said, I do think that Russia would have been much better off had the Tsar stayed in power and the Communists never took over.

Soviet memorials


That’s why I was surprised to find so many Soviet plaques, statues and memorials throughout Moscow. Under communism, the Soviet Union was one of the major players in the world; one pole of the bipolar world we all grew up in; well, the older ones of us at least. Even after the Soviet Union split up, Muscovites didn’t feel the need to take down all the signs, the statues and memorials. That is very different behavior from the Czechs, for example. Czechs took all those things down so fast, you wouldn’t believe it. Too fast, some claimed (including Western tourists who expected it of us). After all, it is, and always will be, an important part of our history.

In Russia, Soviet memorials now coexist peacefully with the Tsar memorabilia. Proud displays of the times when Russia was a primary player in world affairs. The times it clearly misses.

Marx’s statue still dominates the square by Teatralnaya metro station. It says: “Workers of the world, unite.” Plaque’s commemorating Lenin are displayed on buildings everywhere. They get as ridiculous as stating that “Here in this building, V.I. Lenin had a speech at a conference in 1917.” Of course, there is the Lenin mausoleum and, next to it, a cemetery of most Russian leaders, including Stalin.

Russians have a conflicted opinion about Stalin. A friend mentioned that they still do not view him primarily as a mass murderer, like the rest of the world does. They view him as a hero, who won a major war for them: the Patriotic War, as they call World War II here.

The Sculpture Park, a lovely little park right next to the World’s ugliest statue I wrote about earlier, has an interesting collection of Soviet statues that were, perhaps, too ridiculous to keep in the streets. Behind a dominant statue of Stalin is a striking memorial to his victims and political prisoners (see photo).

Romanticizing the communist past


Soviet memorabilia is still a great business here. Stands selling anything from Russian fur hats to propaganda posters are still as popular as ever. Old Arbat, what used to be the heart of Moscow’s art community, is–sadly– filled with such stands. They provide an ironic backdrop to Starbucks, McDonald’s and other symbols of capitalism that now dominate the strip.

All of those souvenirs are, of course, not authentic, although they are certainly supposed to appear that way. They are mass-produced, probably somewhere in China, and sold to Western tourists wanting to appear retro chic. It honestly cracks me up to see all these 18-year old kids–kids, who never lived through the Cold War and to whom communism is merely a chapter in their history book–wearing Lenin T-shirts or at least a Che Guevara hat.

If there was such a thing as a “poser university”, wearing communism-romanticizing gear would have to be its graduation gown.

Bolshoi in Russia: The thing about hotels…

Greetings from St. Petersburg! Bolshoi in Russia is my variation on Big in Japan. (Bolshoi means “Big” in Russian. Get it?) Stay tuned for my live dispatches from Russia this week.

Did I mention how expensive Russia is? Oh yeah, I pretty much mention it in every blog, don’t I. It really is quite shocking how little you get for your money here. It’s one thing to travel around Southeast Asia and stay in crappy hotels for $20/night. You get what you pay for. Russia is different. That same crappy hotel will cost you more like $200 in Moscow and St. Petersburg. It often seems that Russia has all the disadvantages of a third world country (dirt, smog, poor services, etc) and none of its benefits (not cheap).

We stayed in one such crappy little hotel right on 44 Nevsky Blvd (the main drag in St. Petersburg). The hotel entrance is pictured here. The outside is really not the problem, although its classic communist realism look is not exactly the picture of hospitality. It’s the inside. It’s the smell.

One thing you’ll notice about a lot of Russian bathrooms is that they tend to smell bad. The reason? Poor plumbing. It was explained to me that they don’t use a “trap” in the shower. Hence, most bathrooms smell of raw sewage, worse than the New York subway on a hot summer day. All that for only $180/night.

They do give you breakfast with it, though. I even documented it for you: a piece of stale toast, piece of nondescript cheese, some tea and a yoghurt. What they don’t give you, however, is a place where you could eat that breakfast. So, you have to take it back to your room and enjoy it while sniffing the aroma coming out from the bathroom.

It was not nearly the worst hotel I have ever stayed at. It must be up there in terms of value for your money, however. The best thing to remember about Russia before going is that you will spend a lot of money and get very little in return. At the end of thee day, it’s all about expectations.

From Russia, with love.

United Nations report: Balkans the safest region in Europe


When I arrived in Montenegro three months ago, one of the things that struck me first was how safe things felt.

What was I expecting?

Well, not a lot of armed thugs or anything. But I’d traveled enough in the former communist corners of Europe — including past trips into the Balkans — to notice a slightly different atmosphere than you feel in more staid places like the Netherlands or Germany. There isn’t the sense of order you find in those places, and that absence piques your alertness. It’s not that you are in danger at all, but you are certainly a little more aware of your surroundings.

Before coming to Montenegro, I’d last been in the Balkans — specifically Croatia and Bosnia — four years before. These recent months of traveling in the region has had a decidedly different feel — Albania being a noteworthy exception.

Turns out that the United Nations is feeling pretty bullish on the Balkans as well.

The UN released a surprising report yesterday that called the Balkans perhaps Europe’s safest region, saying countries like Montenegro, Serbia and Bosnia boast lower numbers of murders, rapes and petty crime than western Europe.

“The Balkans is departing from an era when demagogues, secret police and thugs profited from sanctions-busting and the smuggling of people, arms, cigarettes and drugs,” the report said.

The report surveyed nine countries: Montenegro, Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia, Macedonia, Albania, Moldova, Bulgaria and Romania.

The report still notes the pervasiveness of corruption and organized crime activities, however.

Of course, a fair question to ask about this report in general is: Compared to what?

After all, the UN notes — in a major nod to the obvious, it seems to me — that regular crimes, including homicides and rapes, “across the region are by far lower than they used to be, particularly in the beginning of the 1990s.” Well duh. At the beginning of the 1990s, didn’t you have widespread instability and lawlessness in places like Romania, Bulgaria and Albania as they emerged out of communism? Didn’t you have a regional war that engulfed Croatia, Serbia, Bosnia and Montenegro in an orgy of killing and destruction that lasted nearly five years?

To compare crime rates in some of these countries now to a time when crime was the only thing that counted doesn’t seem to say much. It would have been more useful for the UN to note how things have changed in, say, the last five years.

Bolshoi in Russia: How to turn Prague into Moscow in 7 easy steps

Greetings from Moscow! Bolshoi in Russia is my variation on Big in Japan. (Bolshoi means “Big” in Russian. Get it?) Stay tuned for my live dispatches from Russia this week.

Needless to say, the similarities between Prague and Moscow have been on my mind lately. With a group of friends, this is the summary we came up with over a few drinks.

How to turn Prague into Moscow:

1) Turn back time at least 10, preferably 15 years.
2) Tear down 95.3% of the old buildings and replace with communist
realism buildings.
3) Reduce number of pretty women by 20%, primarily through the use
of bad make-up, bad hair dye, bad clothing, and gold teeth.
4) Increase the population by ten-fold.
5) Increase prices to New York City standard.
6) Replace every third car with a Mercedes and one of the two
remaining with a BMW, give everyone two, and park them all on the
sidewalks.
7) Widen every other street and turn it into a likeness of the
Magistrala, then remove all speed limits.

I know, I know. Probably not the most insightful thing you ever read in your life. Isn’t it strange how things always sound better over drinks?

From Russia, with love.

Naomi Campbell faces five charges for her bad airport behavior

Remember the Naomi Campbell incident back in early April? If you need your memory refreshed, Campbell was arrested after causing a scene over misplaced luggage in Heathrow’s Terminal 5. Now Campbell is being faced with five different charges in connection with the alleged assault of a police officer who was called in to deal with her melt down, reports The Guardian.

Not that I am a fan of celebrity gossip, but I think we can use this as a good reminder of what airplane-induced stress can bring to you if it goes too far. Campbell is being charged with three counts of assaulting a constable, one count of disorderly conduct and one count of using threatening and abusive words towards the cabin crew.

I am sure that Campbell will be able to scrounge up some cash to pay for a good lawyer, but keep all this in mind next time you want to lose your cool over luggage. Refrain from attacking people and wait for your misplaced luggage in a timely manner, then you won’t find yourself having to appear in front of a court with a good defensive argument for your crazy behavior.