Galley Gossip: Attention All Nippon Airway passengers, please empty your bladders now!

by Heather Poole on

Ya know, I’ve seen a lot of strange things working as a flight attendant in the last fourteen years, I really have, and just when I think I’ve seen it all a passenger will surprise me. Recently an elderly woman asked if I’d be willing to help her get her bra back on right after she yelled at me for talking too much in the aisle. And then there was the time I sat down on my jumpseat in the back of the airplane and another passenger cracked the lavatory door open and asked if I had a magazine she – not he – could borrow. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Most of the time it’s a passenger making a strange request, but this time it’s an airline and that airline is implementing one wacky new policy. It wants you to pee before you fly. As of October 1, 2009, All Nippon Airways (ANA), a Japanese Airline, is asking its passengers to empty their bladders before boarding a flight, and they’re doing so in the guise of going green. Now I’m all for being green, I even carry my own eco friendly refillable water bottle along with me on trips, but setting up signs at the airport and hiring “loo-attendants” to remind people to use the bathroom is kind of crazy, don’t ya think? ANA believes a lighter aircraft will result in lower fuel use which in return will create a reduction in carbon emissions.

Perhaps All Nippon is on to something. It’s been rumored that American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 when they removed one olive – ONE OLIVE! – from each salad in first class. Can you imagine how much money will be saved if every single passenger on board a full flight uses the loo before take-off? According to the Dailymail.co.uk, the average human bladder capacity is 15oz, which means if 150 passengers relieved themselves that would total to 63.7kg of waste. That’s 140 pounds, people! That doesn’t even count the amount of money the airline stands to save on toilet paper. Now does anyone know how much an olive weighs?

Of course it’s the All Nippon staff who is in charge of asking passengers to use the restroom one last time before they board. How embarrassing is that going to be – for everyone involved! I can’t help but wonder who, exactly, is going to do this, and how, exactly, this will be done, and what, exactly, is going to be said. I’m dying to know. Will frequent fliers receive special treatment by being allowed to go first? Will flight attendants be able to flash their badge and cut the line like we do at security? Will the airline take a delay for passengers who have difficulty going on cue. Next thing you know ANA will start limiting the amount of beverages allowed to be consumed on board after take-off! And here I thought charging for checked bags was bad!

While the airline is only in an experimental phase with it’s carbon emission reduction plan which will take place over one month and forty two flights, it may actually extend the program if it is well received by passengers and gets positive results.

%Poll-35217%

Photo courtesy of Tango-Sierra

Galley Gossip: How to create a flight attendant Halloween costume

by Heather Poole on

It’s that time of year, people! Hopefully you’ve already figured out what you’re going to be for Halloween. It is right around the corner, ya know.

I’m the type of person who usually waits until the last second to pull something together, which is why I almost always end up feeling insecure about my costume, a crap costume, which only leads to a miserable night out – that is if I even go out! It all depends on just how crappy the crap costume actually ends up.

But this year I’ve decided to do things a little differently and embrace the holiday season. I’m going to dress up in something I’ve planned out well in advance. What that costume may be I still don’t know, but my three year-old knows that he’s going as Captain Hook and wants me to dress up as Tinkerbell. Not a chance. Thankfully there’s still plenty of time to figure it out.

Now if you’re like me, you’re looking for a costume that’s easy to throw together and inexpensive. So why not live out your inner fantasy and dress up as me – a flight attendant! Think about it, you’ll be able to deliver drinks and do the pointy-point all night long. Oh you know you want to!

Last year at this exact same time I came across an interesting post from Jennine (that’s her in the photo) who has a fantastic fashion blog called The Coveted. Imagine my surprise when I spotted her dressed up as a stewardess for Halloween, a fantastic get up she created by using clothing from her very own closet.

“All you need,” Jennine writes,”is a hat, gloves, a neck scarf, a go-go dress or shift dress, a vest, and knee high boots.”

As for hair and make up, Jennine suggests to go heavy on the liquid eyeliner and use blue eyeshadow and red lips. Of course the beehive is a must.

What’s that you say, the retro look really isn’t your thing? You’d much rather unleash your inner slut? That’s okay. It’s a good thing I’m here help.

I plugged the words FLIGHT ATTENDANT COSTUME into the search engine and then went through dozens of web sites until I narrowed it down to my favorites. See a costume you like, just click on the picture and you’ll be directed to a page where you’ll be able to place an order. It’s that simple. You can thank me later. By the way, the pink and orange dress with the white go-go boots is by far my favorite retro flight attendant costume – just in case you were wondering. Now don’t start clicking away just yet, not before you have a chance to scroll down to the bottom of this post for a few very important tips on how to complete your flight attendant transformation.

You’ve picked out the perfect flight attendant costume, so why not take it a step further and go for it. See what it’s like, really like, to work the unfriendly skies by doing what flight attendants spend a good portion of their time doing at 30,000 feet…

Point a lot: “Flight attendants tend to point a lot, they point at the exits, they point at the aisle, they point at the bathrooms. They point at your trays while they are telling you to put them away,” writes Jennine.

Smile: Fake smiles are even better.

Apologize Do it as often as possible, even when it’s not your fault. Make sure to mean it when you say it.

Sell whatever you can get your hands on. Why not have fun and make a little money while doing so.

Pick up trash – I’m not talking about your future ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

“Abuse” your power. Flash your badge and cut the line. Once you get where you need to be, push your way through the crowd while reminding people that the seat belt sign is on.

Happy Halloween. Hope you have a terrible fright!

%Gallery-74814%




Galley Gossip: Flight attendants under investigation for bomb threat

by Heather Poole on

Like I mentioned in my last post, Fly-Girls, a flight attendant docu-series airing soon, it’s rarely ever a good thing when flight attendants are in the news…

It happened a few seconds after the Captain on my flight from Miami to New York introduced himself and then asked if I had brewed a pot of coffee. I had, in fact. I always do whenever I’m working the galley. I poured him a cup and told him my name as we boarded a full flight on a 757.

After taking a sip, he whipped off his hat and hung it on a hook against the back of the cockpit door. Nonchalantly he said, “Did you hear about the bomb threat today?”

Immediately I stopped counting meals, chicken with rice and cheese tortellini, and spun around to face him. “What happened?”

“A flight attendant found a note in the lavatory. It said there was a bomb on board the flight.” And with that he was gone, too busy chatting away with a mechanic who had stepped into the cockpit.

Of course the first thing that came to mind when the pilot uttered those two oh-so-innocent words, “flight attendant”, was oh no, please don’t let it be a flight attendant who wrote the note. The next thing I thought was, I wonder if the crew was on reserve.

The only reason I suspected the crew was because something similar had happened a few years back. Even in that case, so many years ago, when I heard on the news that the flight attendant under investigation had been on reserve when she left a note in the lav, I had to laugh. Just because being on reserve does make one a little bit crazy. At times. But usually not that crazy, not bomb writing crazing of course!

When I mentioned to a friend, and lawyer, what had happened on the American Airlines flight from Boston to Miami, as well as whom I hoped the suspects would not turn out to be, he said, “Tell me, how does ‘we will get fired’ ‘we will go to prison’ get left out of the thought process before writing that kind of note?”

Good question.

Then I reminded him, as well as myself, that the flight attendants in question are innocent until proven guilty.

Two days later I am now unhappy to report that what I had prayed would not be the case seems to be kinda-sorta happening. The crew is now officially under investigation. The details are as follows…

  • A flight attendant found a message scrawled on the bathroom cabinet that read, “Bomb on board – Boston-Miami”
  • The aircraft was evacuated and luggage was searched by a bomb sniffing dog at an isolated area at Logan Airport. No bomb was found
  • FBI interrogated two crew members; a male and female flight attendant
  • Passengers were transferred to another flight and continued on to Miami

And here’s the kicker, the same two flight attendants under investigation for this bomb threat were on another flight from Miami to Boston just two weeks ago when a similar bomb threat was found. I kid you not.

Again, innocent until proven guilty.

But if these two are guilty, just how dumb are they to do it (period) on two different flights they’re crewing – two weeks apart! Do you think maybe, just maybe, they might be dating? I mean how else do two people get involved in something like this? Or do you think they’re roommates? Best friends? Or two disgruntled coworkers who just so happened to hold the same line last month? Seriously, what do you think?

%Poll-35050%

Photo courtesy of Purplemattfish

Galley Gossip: Fly Girls, a flight attendant docu-series airing soon

by Heather Poole on

The first thing I thought when I heard about the new flight attendant show called Fly Girls was, why didn’t they ask me! Not that I really want to be on a reality show. It’s just…well…it would have been kind of nice to have been asked.

The second thing I thought was, I wonder if any of the “fly girls” are guys? Because guys do fly, and that Virgin America flight attendant over there, the one donning the inflatable yellow life vest, is lookin pretty fly to me. I’m just saying…

The third thing I thought was, oh no. Because whenever flight attendants are in the spotlight it’s rarely a good thing. People seem to have a love hate relationship with flight attendants. Actually, it’s more of a love to hate type of relationship. Don’t believe me? Just go and read a few of the comments the Galley Gossip post flight attendant pet peeve #1, answer please! generated.

Just last week I read about Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who drives over 30 miles from his home in Phoenix to the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport while wearing a monkey mask. He does this in order to illegally pass through the photo-enforcement gantlet on Interstate 17. Vontesmar truly believes the DPS is required to identify the driver of the vehicle, not just the vehicle, so he’s fairly confident he won’t have to pay the fines that the monkey mask wearer, whoever that may be, accumulated for 37 violations, an amount that could easily rack up to over $6,500.

Of course the first thing I thought when I read that story was, what if passengers wore monkey masks on board our planes? Would they, too, be exempt from following the rules. Of course this only reminded me of the time I actually had a monkey on board my flight. She sat in business class and was one of the most well behaved passengers I’ve ever met. But that’s another story.

This story is about Flight attendants and how we, flight attendants, already have a bad rap. Not that some of us don’t deserve it, because Dave and his monkey mask are a big part of the problem. I’m just saying, do we really need a reality show that could possibly make us look even worse? Because you know there will be drama. You know there will be sex. And you know this show is going to be a huge hit! Don’t believe me? One of the executive producers is Colin Nash. Name doesn’t ring a bell? Perhaps you’ve heard of one of his other shows, The Hills?

Here’s what Mike Bruno of EW.com had to say about the show…

The CW announced today that its new docu-series Fly Girls, which gives a glimpse into the lives of five “beautiful Virgin America flight attendants,” is set to debut midseason. The network describes the series as being “about real, down-to-earth young women who happen to have landed in an exceptionally glamorous, high-flying career filled with exotic locations and handsome strangers.” In eight half-hour episodes, the show will follow the flight attendants to Las Vegas, South Beach, and New York City, as well as give a peek into their shared home-base “crash pad” in Los Angeles.

Now here’s what worries me…

  • It’s a “docu-series” That’s a fancy name for reality show. It also leads me to believe that most of the show will be scripted. Just like The Hills.
  • Use of the phrase, “beautiful Virgin flight attendants” Need I say more?
  • And then there’s that last bit in the second sentence – “filled with exotic locations and handsome strangers.” Oh you better believe I’ll be tuning in to watch! Just to make sure they get it right, of course.
  • Note the locations listed: Las Vegas, South Beach, and New York City. You know what that means, don’t you? Las Vegas equates to clubbing and South Beach has got to be code for bikinis. New York can only mean one thing – shopping! Hmm…I’m flight attendant and I’m based in New York and I like to shop, so maybe, just maybe….kidding, people! (Kind of)
  • As for their shared home-base “crash pad” in Los Angeles, I can’t wait to see that. Something tells it’s going to look more like one of the luxurious digs featured on The Bachelor than a real life crash pad. Anyway, don’t the producers know a “crash pad” is only used by commuting flight attendants, not flight attendants who are based in the city in which they live? Seriously.

I’m sure Fly Girls is going to be a great show. I know I’m going to watch it. I mean who wouldn’t want to watch, and I quote, “real, down-to-earth young women who happen to have landed in an exceptionally glamorous, high-flying career.”

Wait a minute, did they actually use the words ” exceptionally glamorous career” to describe the job?

Forgive me, I almost forgot, it’s a docu-series.

Photos courtesy of Xeni and Moody75

Galley Gossip: Interview with New York Times best selling author Allison Winn Scotch

by Heather Poole on

It’s been a long time since I’ve read a book I couldn’t put down. In fact, your book, Time of my Life, made me wish my commuter flight from New York to Los Angeles would never end. It’s that good! With heavy issues like abandonment, divorce, escape and fate, what inspired you to write the book?

Well, I’d been contemplating doing a time-travel story, but I wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. I mentioned it to my agent, and I think she was deeply perplexed by both the idea and me! But I didn’t know how to sort it out in my mind. But then one afternoon while the idea was brewing, my best friend called while she was on vacation where her ex-boyfriend lived, and she said, “I’m so weirded out…I can’t stop thinking about what my life might have been like.”

Then we had one of those intimate life conversations that you can only have with your closest friends, about her what-ifs and my what-ifs, and I assured her that this was all very normal, even though people didn’t really talk about how much they wonder about what could have been. We hung up, and I headed out for a run, and BAM…the idea, characters and plotlines just presented themselves very clearly. I came home, wrote what are now the first 14 pages, and sent them off to my agent, who flipped for them. I think, as so many of us get older and look back on our younger years with nostalgia, it’s very easy to consider what the other possibilities could have been –and I wanted to explore that.

As a flight attendant, I love my job because it allows me to jump on a plane and go wherever I want whenever I want, as long as there’s an open seat available. Just knowing I can travel like that brings a sense of calm to my life. My job also allows for a little “me time” since I’m gone for a few days at a time each month. Women today are so busy working full time jobs and then going home to clean the house, make dinner and take care of others, they have a tendency to forget about themselves. Which is why I believe escape is a popular theme for women and why so many women wonder about what could have been if they had made different choices in life. Have you as a wife, mother, and a New York Time’s best selling author, ever wondered – what if?

Definitely! As I said above, I think this is so, so, so common, but it’s a strange thing – we’re all sort of hesitant to talk about it, as if talking about our “what ifs” somehow mean that we’re truly unhappy with our current lives. But I don’t think that’s it at all – I think you can look back and reflect and use those memories, those what ifs, to propel you toward MORE happiness rather than less. Remember the choices you made and why, and if you ARE unhappy, remember your original list of goals and maybe tweak your current course to get back to where you wanted to be. But…yes, I’m totally guilty of what-ifing. :)

I, too, have wondered what-if. What if I hadn’t been working the flight from New York to Los Angeles when I met my husband? Without a doubt my life would have turned out completely different if I hadn’t been working that flight. While reading your book, I found myself conflicted. Part of me was excited that the main character was given a second chance, an opportunity to create a new life with an ex-boyfriend she seemed to have never gotten over, while another part of me rooted for the husband and child she’d left behind. While writing did you ever feel conflicted in the direction in which the main character was headed? Did you know from the beginning what was going to happen to her in the end?

I think the only real conflict I felt was about her relationship with her child, and I was worried that readers wouldn’t like her/accept her for needing time away from her child to get back in touch with who she once was. But…I HAD to take that leap because part of Jillian’s dissatisfaction with her life was the fact that motherhood wasn’t what she had expected it to be, and she needed to regroup in order to understand WHY it wasn’t what she expected it to be and maybe to realign those expectations. So that was definitely a big concern/conflict. But look, I’m a mom of two kids, and while I would do ANYTHING IN THE WORLD for them, truly, I also understand those occasional days when you think, “Ugh, what I wouldn’t give to have an entire free 24 hours to myself, FOR myself.” So I tried to play this balance delicately.

Many years ago I walked a blind passenger to her first class seat. As I held her hand, she began telling me things about my past that were right on, and then went on to predict my future – all of which came true. I never really thought about fate until I met her. I always thought people were in control of their destinies, but now I’m not so sure. Do you believe in fate?

Great question! And the answer is…I don’t know. :) I sometimes have a hard time accepting that fate is in charge of everything because I’ve seen some pretty sad situations in life (friends passing away too young, children who are terribly sick), and I feel like the blanket explanation of, “Oh, what’s meant to happen will happen,” is almost a cop-out. I guess that I believe in fate to a certain extent but only in so much as WE are the ones who control it. I’m pretty proactive about my life, for example, and while maybe it was fate that I ended up joining the gym where I met my husband, I DON’T think we would have met if I hadn’t gone up and introduced myself. (What can I say? I thought he was cute!) So I think it’s a blend of the two.

The people I meet and the places I go completely affect my writing, obviously. Your book is set in Westchester and Manhattan. How important is location to your stories?

Important and not so important. My first two books were set in New York because that was the environment I was most comfortable writing about, and for me, writing books was challenge enough – I wasn’t about to set my book in a city that I couldn’t immediately grasp. That said, New York plays an important role to each of these protagonists – in Time of My Life, it represents Jillian’s old life, her single days, so yes, it WAS important to set the book there. For my next book, The One That I Want, location becomes even more critical – it’s set in a small town in Washington State, and the town defines just about everything about the heroine. So I think, once I really got comfortable with the novel-writing process, I was able to take more risks with imagining locations other than my own.

Has a fabulous vacation to another city/locale ever inspired or changed something you were in the process of writing?

Hmmm, not a specific city, but certainly, I take inspiration from wherever I travel to. We just spent part of the summer in California, and the wide open beaches, beautiful weather, and calming attitude really helped nurture my brain for the last round of revisions for The One That I Want.

Rumor has it you’re afraid to fly. What do you do to overcome that fear in order to get on an airplane?

I try to just be logical about it! I know – rationally! – that my fear is totally crazy, and so I sort of talk myself off the ledge with statistics and such. It’s only a relatively recent fear (since becoming a mother), so even though I probably don’t sleep the night before a flight, a small part of me, way in the back of my brain, knows that I’ll be fine. Still though, I really, really wish I could get over it! :)

If it’s the turbulence that frightens you, sit near the front of the aircraft next time. It’s much less bumpy up there. That’s why you’ll sometimes see flight attendants working in first and business class while the ones working in coach are buckled into their jumpseats. It’s that big of a difference between cabins. Favorite city?

Ooh, probably Paris.

It’s such a romantic city. Which reminds me, years ago on a layover in Paris I went to an ATM and accidentally took out my entire life savings. I was so nervous walking around the city with a purse full of cash. Sadly, the only times I’ve ever been to Paris were on layovers, which, of course, only happened on reserve months. It’s a senior trip, which means it’s a very desirable place to go for flight attendants. You live in New York City, so what do you recommend for families traveling with small children to the Big City?

Oh my gosh, there is SO MUCH to do here with kids. The Museum of Natural History is a big hit for our kids because it’s in our neighborhood, as is the Children’s Museum. I really enjoy taking my older one to Broadway shows, and both of them to children’s concerts and children’s theater, like the Vital Theater at 75th and Broadway. If you’re here in the warmer months, of course, you have to stroll through Central Park – you can often catch a
great spontaneous breakdancing show. :) The kids love it.

I’m dying to take my three year-old to the Central Park zoo. What about when family or friends are in town visiting, what are some of the things you always make sure to do with them?

Eat! New York has the best dining in the world, so the one thing we always do is eat out!

I think we’re going to have to hang out. I, too, love to eat. That probably explains why my favorite place to vacation is in Italy. The food is just amazing there. Now tell me about your best vacation?

Wow, that’s a hard one. I love everything about Europe – everything – but if I had to say the best vacation ever, I’d be remiss not to say last year’s vacation to Grand Cayman that we took as a family. It was just a perfect string of nine days in which my kids were wonderfully behaved, the resort was out-of-this-world, the beaches were breath-taking, and we, as a family,just sat back and enjoyed the hell out of each other. One of the very few vacations when we truly were not ready to return home.

Okay, now you’re going to have to tell us where you stayed!

The Ritz-Carlton, Grand Cayman – have you been? It’s SOOO good for families. I think we’re heading back this year.

I’l have to check it out. City/country you’re dying to visit?

South Africa. I wish I’d taken a safari before my kids were born…now it will likely be a few more years until I can do so.

That’s also on my list of things to do / places to go. In fact, I feel sorry for my South African passengers because I’ve always got a million questions for them. I’m dying to go on Safari. Favorite traveling outfit?

J.Crew sweatpants, sweatshirt and tank top. (Yes, I might be J. Crew’s favorite customer.) My converse sneakers. I travel comfy.

Comfort in flight is very important. Book last read on a flight?

I haven’t flown without my kids recently, and there’s no chance I get to read when I travel with them. BUT, I think I eked out a few pages of Elin Hilderbrand’s The Castaways on our recent trip to California.

Now finish the following sentences.

Once on a flight….I thought the floor was going to fall out of the plane. My husband and I were in Italy, flying on some tiny, God-forsaken, who-knows-what airline, and the entire floor was shaking/rattling/making-VERY-strange noises the whole flight. Even my husband – who has absolutely no fear of flying – was ashen.

If I could be anywhere in the world I’d…Be living in Paris or Hawaii. Either one sounds heavenly.

Next book?

As I mentioned above, the next book is called The One That I Want, and it will be out June 2010!

Interested in reading more about Allison Winn Scotch? Visit her web site – www.allisonwinn.com

Photos courtesy of (book cover, author photo) Allison Winn Scotch, (Hermosa Beach, CA, Waikiki Beach) Heather Poole, (Paris) Fly for Fun