Looking for a quick summer fix at a deep discount? The latest deals from Vail Resorts Hospitality and RockResorts will definitely turn you on. Book by Monday, May 24, 2010 at noon, and you can pick up a room at Keystone Resort for a mere $71 a night or spend only $79 a night for the newest RockResort, One Ski Hill Place in Breckenridge. If Colorado doesn’t tickle you, The Landings St. Lucia is offering a deal for $277 a night, and it’s good through November.
Seasoned travelers know that the world is full of wonders as well as occasional hazards like political unrest, diarrhea and of course, monkey attacks. Harmless and cute as they seem to tourists, these are wild animals that are not to be taken for granted.
In 2007, SS Bajwa, Indian deputy mayor of New Delhi, was killed after falling from a terrace while fighting off an angry mob of monkeys. Typically more of a problem in South Asia (India, Thailand) where Hanuman – the Hindu “monkey god” – is particularly revered, attacks by monkeys are on the rise. Luckily, most monkey attacks are more benign, or at least less lethal.
After reviewing the following collection of kung-fu chimps, playful gibbons, and roving monkey pickpocket gangs, certain “travel tips” become self-evident. Don’t provoke them. Don’t give them knives. And don’t, under any circumstances, feed the monkeys, unless you’re attempting to exchange your Ray Bans for a piece of bread. As further warning, we’ve uncovered ten monkey attack videos featured below. Don’t let this happen to you!
1) Monkeys attack Dane
Entitled “Wheee!” Or, “Dane gratuitously provokes the monkeys until they swarm him.” Make sure to watch until :55 when Dane has to run for his life as he’s chased by a pack of crazed primates:
2) Don’t pet the monkey.
Unless you’re looking to be chased by a monkey.
3) Monkey vs. Dog
J’excuse the commentary. Truly a ninja among monkeys.
4) Baggage handlers
Searching for methods of mass destruction. If only my own baggage handlers were so kind.
5) Car-jacking
Containment is the best recourse.
6) West Side Story
Don’t give them knives. Really, don’t. Ever. Give. Them. Knives. Stupid and cruel.
7) Delinquents
When I was in India, late 70’s, I mistakenly assumed that they were being trained to steal shiny items for delivery to an “overlord.” Now I suspect that they simply evolved, learning to take and hold various items in exchange for “food.”
8) Nice hair clip
Such as this. Hmm, nice hair clip. Give Wonder Bread. I give clip.
9) Get a room
I’m not sure what he’s getting at there, beyond the obvious. She appears to be enjoying it.
10) Taekwondo
Texas. This is where it all begins, really.
How strong is your stomach? That’s the question the folks at Six Flags The Great Escape seem to be asking with their special event this weekend, the Sasquatch “Beat the Beast” Ride-a-Thon.
The theme park in Lake George, New York, is promising a PlayStation 3 to the person who rides Sasquatch the most between 9 and 11 a.m. on Saturday, May 22.
You can register for the Sasquatch Ride-a-Thon on The Great Escape’s Facebook page or at the park’s main entrance on Saturday morning.
If more than a dozen people take the challenge, a lottery will determine the event’s 12 contestants.
The Great Escape says that those not chosen for the contest will still be granted early ride time on Sasquatch before the park opens for the day. And early risers will get a discount on admission Saturday, as well: Passes to the park will be sold for $19.99 until 9 a.m.
Sasquatch is a drop ride that shoots you up twin 19-story towers in 3 seconds, then drops you down the tower in a series of bounces. The ride debuted at The Great Escape in May 2009, after being relocated from the now-defunct Six Flags New Orleans.
The Resort at Paws Up has reason to celebrate. It’s celebrating its fifth birthday and the opening of its third luxury tented camp, and these milestones, of course, come with a reason for you to head out to Montana to check the place out for yourself. There’s a five-night, all-inclusive package for $2,413 a night that can’t be missed.
In addition to staying in a two-bedroom tent at the new Creekside Camp (for a family of four), you’ll have your choice of five wilderness activities, with a half-day activity per person per day for four days. The hot air balloon ride will take you high enough to see the entire 37,000 acre resort, and back on the ground, you’ll get to take one sporting clays lesson at the five-stand Shooting Club at Paws Up.
Logistically, there’s no reason to sweat: airport transportation and airport transfers are included. And, for $3,100 a night, you can upgrade to a 1,900-square foot Big Timber Home. This deal is available from July 1, 2010 through September 30, 2010.
It’s almost time for the 28th annual Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, and day passes are back by popular demand. The June 18-20 festival features seminars, cooking demos, grand tastings, and book signings by featured chefs like Thomas Keller, Mario Batali, and Giada De Laurentiis. All of this goodness in an alpine wonderland doesn’t come cheap, which is why the $295 Grand Tasting pass is such a steal.
The price includes attendance at two Grand Tastings in a single day, on Friday, June 18 or Saturday, June 19. Highlights include tastings from over 200 vineyards, breweries, and distilleries, as well as food samplings of meats, cheeses, olive oils, and chocolate. There’s also a Spanish pavilion dedicated to wines, spirits and foods of Spain.
Full consumer passes are $1,185, which include access to all Grand Tastings, wine seminars, and cooking demonstrations. If you really want to splurge (read: schedule follow-up appointment with your cardiologist), spring for some of the special events, such as the Food & Wine magazine Best New Chefs 2010 Dinner, or Reserve Wine Tastings. New this year is the Grand Cochon finale, featuring ten chefs, ten heritage breed pigs, and ten wines. Sounds like food porn just got really kinky.